Page 24 (1/2)
The Patrician s and sat down
'These are good,' he said 'What are they?'
'My cartoons,' said Leonard
'This is a good one of the little boy with his kite stuck in a tree,' said Lord Vetinari
'Thank you May I make you some tea? I'm afraid I don't see es'
'I've come to'
The Patrician stopped and prodded at one of the drawings
'There's a piece of yellow paper stuck to this one,' he said, suspiciously He pulled at it It ca noise, and then stuck to his fingers On the note, in Leonard's crabby backward script, were the words: 'krow ot smees sihT: omeM'
'Oh, I'm rather pleased with that,' said Leonard 'I call it lue-that-comes-unstuck-when-you-want"'
The Patrician played with it for a while
'What's the glue s'
The Patrician pulled the paper off one hand It stuck to the other hand
'Is that what you came to see me about?' said Leonard
'No I caonne'
'Oh, dear I'm very sorry'
'I aoodness I thought you said you'd done aith it'
'I gave it to the Assassins to destroy After all, they pride themselves on the artistic quality of their work They should be horrified at the idea of anyone having that sort of power But the daht they could lock it away And now they've lost it'
'They didn't destroy it?'
'Apparently not, the fools'
And nor did you I wonder why?'
'1do you know, I don't know?'
'I should never have made it It was merely an application of principles Ballistics, you know Si, although I say itidea I had to ar?'
'No, thank you'
'People are searching for it, I trust?'
'The Assassins are But they won't find it They don't think the right way' The Patrician picked up a pile of sketches of the huood
'Oh, dear'
'So I a on the Watch'
'This would be the Captain Vimes you have spoken of'
Lord Vetinari always enjoyed his occasional conversations with Leonard The man always referred to the city as if it was another world
'Yes'
'I hope you have impressed upon him the importance of the task'
'In a way I've absolutely forbidden him to undertake it Twice'
Leonard nodded 'Ah Ithink I understand I hope it works'
He sighed
'I suppose I should have dis I had this strange fancy I wasthat already existed Soot the whole idea It seee, I suppose, to dis a person Biscuit?'
'Dis a person is sometimes necessary,' said Lord Vetinari
'This, of course, is a point of view,' said Leonard da Quire,' said Lord Vetinari 'Norods of some sort, does it not?'
'Did I use the word? I can't ionnes'
'It is quite hard, yes'
The Patrician shifted uneasily, reached down behind him, and pulled out an object
'What,' he said, 'is this?'
'Oh, I wondered where that had gone,' said Leonard 'It's a -up-into-the-air machine'[20]
Lord Vetinari prodded the little rotor
'Would it work?'
'Oh, yes,' said Leonard He sighed 'If you can find one th of ten men who can turn the handle at about one thousand revolutions a minute'
The Patrician relaxed, in a hich only then drew gentle attention to the foregoing moment of tension
'Now there is in this city,' he said, 'a onne He has used it successfully once, and alonne?'
'No,' said Leonard 'I aenius' He said it quite simply It was a stateonne has been invented, Leonard, how enius need so technique requires considerable finesse, and the cocking mechanism that slides the bullette assembly is finely balanced, and of course the end of the barrel must be very' Leonard saw the Patrician's expression, and shrugged 'He must be a clever man,' he said
'This city is full of clever men,' said the Patrician 'And dwarfs Clever s'
'I am so very sorry'
'They never think'
'Indeed'
Lord Vetinari leaned back and stared at the skylight
'They do things like open the Three Jolly Luck Take-Away Fish Bar on the site of the old teht of the Winter solstice when it also happens to be a full moon'
'That's people for you, I'm afraid'
'I never did find out what happened to Mr Hong'
'Poor fellow'
'And then there's the wizards Tinker, tinker, tinker Never think twice before grabbing a thread of the fabric of reality and giving it a pull'
'Shocking'
'The alches to see what happens'
'I hear the bangs, even here'