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'Remember,' he said, 'let's be careful out there'

'Yeah,' said Nobby, 'let's be careful to stay in here'

To understand arfs and trolls don't like each other you have to go back a long way

They get along like chalk and cheese Very like chalk and cheese, really One is organic, the other isn't, and also s up rocks with valuable minerals in them and the silicon-based lifeform known as trolls are, basically, rocks with valuable minerals in theht hours dor valuable minerals needs to be in when there are dwarfs around And dwarfs hate trolls because, after you've just found an interesting seam of valuable minerals, you don't like rocks that suddenly stand up and tear your arm off because you've just stuck a pick-axe in their ear

It was a state of perood vendettas, didn't really need a reason any h that it had always existed[5] Dwarfs hated trolls because trolls hated dwarfs, and vice versa

The Watch lurked in Three Lamps Alley, which was about halfway down Short Street There was a distant crackle of fireworks Dwarfs let them off to drive away evil mine spirits Trolls let them off because they tasted nice

'Don't see e can't let 'est themselves and then arrest the losers,' said Corporal Nobbs 'That's ays used to do'

'The Patrician gets really shirty about ethnic trouble,' said Sergeant Colon ets really sarcastic about it'

A thought struck hihtened up a little bit

'Got any ideas, Carrot?' he said

A second thought struck him Carrot was a sie?'

'Sort this lot out, will you?'

Carrot peered around the corner at the advancing walls of trolls and dwarfs They'd already seen each other

'Right you are, sergeant,' he said 'Lance-Constables Cuddy and Detritus – don't salute! – you coo out there!' said Angua 'It's certain death!'

'Got a real sense o'duty, that boy,' said Corporal Nobbs He took a -end from behind his ear and struck a match on the sole of his boot

'Don't worry, miss,' said Colon 'He--'

'Lance-Constable,' said Angua

'What?'

'Lance-Constable,' she repeated 'Not miss Carrot says I don't have any sex while I'round of Nobby's frantic coughing, Colon said, very quickly, 'What I s of kriss of it'

The jolting had stopped Chubby was really annoyed now Really, really annoyed

There was a rustling noise A piece of sackingat Chubby, was another on

It looked annoyed

Chubby reacted in the only way he kne

Carrot stood in the middle of the street, arms folded, while the t recruits stood just behind hi ht Carrot was simple Carrot often struck people as si was thinking that si as stupid

Carrot was not stupid He was direct, and honest, and good-natured and honourable in all his dealings In Ankh-Morpork this would noriven him the survival quotient of a jellyfish in a blast furnace, but there were a couple of other factors One was a punch that even trolls had learned to respect The other was that Carrot was genuinely, alot on ith people, even while arresting them He had an exceptionallife he'd lived in a small dwarf colony where there were hardly any other people to know Then, suddenly, he was in a huge city, and it was as if a talent had been waiting to unfold And was still unfolding

He waved cheerfully at the approaching dwarfs

' 'Morning Mr Cu-inthear troll There was a , Mr Bauxite!'

He cupped his hands

'If you could all just stop and listen to me--' he bellowed

The twoup of the people in the back It was that or walk over Carrot

If Carrot did have aattention to ss So the whispered conversation behind his back was currently escaping him

'--hah! It was too an aentlemen,' said Carrot, in a reasoned and aerent randfather he at Koom Valley, he tell me!'

'--in our fair city on such a lovely day I ood citizens of Ankh-Morpork--'

'--yeah? you even knoho your father is, do you?'

'--that, while you must certainly celebrate your proud ethnic folkways, to profit by the example of my fellow officers here, who have sunk their ancient differences--'

'--I sreater benefit of--'

'--I could take you with one hand tied behind e they are--'

' --you get opportunity! I tie BOTH hands behind you back!'

'--proud and privileged to wear'

'Aargh!'

'Ooow!'

It dawned on Carrot that hardly anyone was paying any attention to him He turned

Lance-Constable Cuddy was upside down, because Lance-Constable Detritus was trying to bounce hih Lance-Constable Cuddy was putting the position to good effect by gripping Lance-Constable Detritus around the knee and trying to sink his teeth into Lance-Constable Detritus' ankle