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so cunning," he said "And then afterwards it took hiet home and he had all sorts of adventures with temptresses and sirens and sensual witches" "Well I can see why you've been studying him Ten years, eh? Where did he live?" "About two hundredlost, did he?" "And when he got ho, and his dear dog recognised hi his slippers in its mouth for fifteen years that killed it off" "Shame" "And you knohat, demon? All this hasn't happened yet We could save hiht about this "We could tell hiator, for a start," he said There was a creak The soldiers had got the door open "Everyone fall in, or whatever the bloody stupid coic box to the front, please No killing anyone unless it's really necessary Try not to daht Forward"

The door led into a column-lined corridor There was the distant murmur of voices

The troop crept towards the sound until it reached a heavy curtain Lavaeolus took a

deep breath, pushed it aside and stepped forward and launched into a prepared speech "Noant to make myself absolutely clear," he said "I don't want there to be any unpleasantness of any kind, or any shouting for guards and so forth Or indeed any shouting at all We will just take the young lady and go hoht to be Otherwise I shall really have to put everyone to the sword, and I hate having to do things like that"

The audience to this statement did not appear to be impressed This was because it was a

sear and went on smoothly: "On the other hand, if you don't tell ive you a really hard smack"

The child took its thu to Cassie," it said "Are you Mr Beekle?"

"I don't think so," said Lavaeolus "Mr Beekle is a silly" The child withdrew its thu some exhaustive research, added: "Mr Beekle is a poo"

"Sergeant?" "Sir?" "Guard this child" "Yessir Corporal?" "Sarge?" "Take care of the kid" "Yes, sarge Private Archeios?"

"Yes, corp," said the soldier, his voice gloo"

Private Archeios looked around There was only Rincewind and Eric left and, while it was true that a civilian was in every respect the lowest possible rank there was, coiested that they weren't about to take any orders

Lavaeolus wandered across the room and listened at another curtain

"We could tell him all kinds of stuff about his future," hissed Eric "He had - I s happen to hiic and all his crew turned into animals and stuff like that"

"Yes We could say `Walk home`," said Rincewind

The curtain swished aside

There was a wohtly faded earing a black dress and the beginnings of ato hide behind her Rincewind counted at least seven of them

"Who's that?" said Eric

"Ahem," said Rincewind "I rather think it's Elenor of Tsort"

"Don't be silly," whispered Eric "She looks like a ave out and he made several wavy motions with his hand, indicative of the shape of a woman ould probably be unable to keep her balance

Rincewind tried not to catch the sergeant's eye

"Yes," he said, going a bit red "Well, you see Er You're absolutely right, but well, it's been a long siege, hasn't it, ith one thing and another"

"I don't see what that's got to do with it," said Eric sternly "The Classics never said anything about children They said she spent all her ti for her lost love"

"Well, yes, I expect she did pine a bit," said Rincewind "Only, you know, you can only

pine so much, and it must have been a bit chilly up on those towers" "You can catch your death, eant Lavaeolus watched the wohtfully Then he bowed "I expect you knoe're here, my lady?" he said "If you touch any of the children I shall screa with his guerilla abilities was a marked

reluctance to waste a prepared speech once he had it all sorted out in his head "Fair ers in order to rescue you and take

you back to your loved" His voice faltered "ones Er This has all gone terribly wrong, hasn't it?" "I can't help it," said Elenor "The siege see

Mausoleum was very kind and I never liked it much in Ephebe anyway -" "Where is everyone now? The Tsorteans, I mean Apart fro rocks, if youup his hands in desperation "Couldn't you, you know, have slipped us a note or sos?" "You all see yourselves so looht," he said "Fine QED No problem