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The wizards stared into the raures began to " "Oook" "Maybe He is out" "Or busy" "Do you think we could give up and go back to bed?"

WHO ARE WE WAITING FOR, EXACTLY? The Bursar turned slowly to the figure beside him You could always tell a wizard's robe; it was bedecked with sequins, sigils, fur and lace, and there was usually a considerable amount of wizard inside it This robe, however, was very black The h it had been chosen for its hard-wearing qualities So did its owner He looked as though if he wrote a diet book it would be a bestseller

Death atching the octogram with an expression of polite interest

"Er," said the Bursar "The fact is, in fact, that, er, you should be on the inside" I'M SO SORRY Death stalked in a dignified way into the centre of the room and watched the Bursar expectantly

I HOPE WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY OF THIS "FOUL FIEND" BUSINESS AGAIN, he said "I trust we are not interrupting any important enterprise?" said the Bursar TO SOMEBODY "Er Er The reason, o fou - sir, that we have called you here, is for the reason -" IT IS RINCEWIND "What?" THE REASON YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME THE ANSWER IS: IT IS

RINCEWIND "But we haven't asked you the question yet!" NEVERTHELESS THE ANSWER IS: IT IS RINCEWIND "Look, ant to know is, what is causing this outbreak of oh" Death pointedly picked invisible particles off the edge of his scythe The Archchancellor cupped a gnarled hand over his ear "What'd he say? Who's the fella with the stick?" "It's Death, sir You know"

"Tell hi his stick

The Bursar sighed "We suo and do that for? Bloody silly thing to do"

The Bursar gave Death an e hie, but realised that this would in the circumstances be a co about the wizard Rincewind? The one with the -" the Bursar gave a shudder - "horrible Luggage on legs? But he got blown up when there was all that business with the sourcerer, didn't he?" (The Bursar was referring obliquely to the difficult occasion when the University very nearly caused the end of the world, and would in fact have done so had it not been for a chain of events involving Rincewind, a ic carpet and a half-brick in a sock (See Sourcery) The whole affair was very e to wizards, as it always is to people who find out afterwards that they were on the wrong side all along, and it was remarkable how many of the University's senior staff were now ada their aunt, or doing research with the door locked while hu on outside There had been so a statue up to Rincewind but, by the curious alchemy that tends to apply in these sensitive issues, this quickly became a plaque, then a note on the Roll of Honour, and finally aimproperly dressed)

INTO THE DUNGEON DIMENSIONS AND NOW HE IS TRYING TO GET BACK HOME

"Can he do that?"

THERE WOULD NEED TO BE AN UNUSUAL CONJUNCTION OF CIRCUMSTANCES REALITY WOULD NEED TO BE WEAKENED IN CERTAIN UNEXPECTED WAYS

"That isn't likely to happen, is it?" said the Bursar anxiously People who have it on record that they were visiting their aunt for twoup whoto soht have believed they had seen the to being at their aunt's

IT WOULD BE A MILLION TO ONE CHANCE, said Death EXACTLY A MILLION

TO ONE CHANCE "Oh," said the Bursar, intensely relieved "Oh dear What a shahtened up considerably "Of course, there's all the noise But, unfortunately, I expect he won't survive for long"

THIS COULD BE THE CASE, said Death blandly I AM SURE, THOUGH, THAT YOU WOULD NOT WISH ME TO MAKE A PRACTICE OF ISSUING DEFINITIVE STATEMENTS IN THIS FIELD

"No! No, of course not," said the Bursar hurriedly "Right Well, reat pity Still can't be helped Perhaps we should be philosophical about these things"

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD "And we had better not keep you," the Bursar added politely THANK YOU "Goodbye" BE SEEING YOU In fact the noise stopped just before breakfast The Librarian was the only one unhappy about it Rincewind had been his assistant and his friend, and was a gooda banana He had also been uniquely good at running away fros He was not, the Librarian considered, the type to be easily caught

There had probably been an unusual conjunction of circumstances That was a far more likely explanation

There had been an unusual conjunction of circumstances By exactly a , studying, looking for the right tools for a special job

And here was Rincewind

It was almost too easy

So Rincewind opened his eyes There was a ceiling above him; if it was the floor, then he was in trouble

So far, so good He cautiously felt the surface he was laying on It was grainy, woody in fact, with the odd nail-hole A human sort of surface

His ears picked up the crackle of a fife and a bubbling noise, source unknown