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"Oh"

He's in a dungeon in his own palace with a raving lunatic in charge upstairs, and a dragon burning the city, and he thinks he's got the world where he wants it It h office The altitude sends people mad

"You, er, you don't mind if I have a look around, > do you?" he said

"Feel free," said the Patrician

Vieon and checked the door It was heavily barred and bolted, and the lock was ht possibly be hollow places There was no doubt that it was a well-built dungeon It was the kind of dungeon you'd feel good about having dangerous criminals put in Of course, in those circumstances you'd prefer there to be no trapdoors, hidden tunnels or secret ways of escape

These weren't those circu what several feet of solid stone did to your sense of perspective

"Do guards come in here?" he de a chicken leg "They don't bother about feeding me, you see The idea is that one should o to the door and groan a bit every now and then, just to keep them happy"

"They're bound to coh?" said Vimes hopefully

"Oh, I don't think we should tolerate that," said the Patrician

' 'How are you going to prevent theave him a pained look

"My dear Viht you were an observant man Did you look at the door?"

"Of course I did," said Vimes, and added, "sir It's bloody massive''

"Perhaps you should have another look?''

Vilared at the door It was one of the popular dread portal variety, all bars and bolts and iron spikes andhe looked at it, it didn't become any less ers that it'd take years to pick All in all, if you had to have a sy totally iside hi silence

"You see," he said, "it's always the case, is it not, that should a city be overtaken by violent civil unrest the current ruler is thrown into the dungeons? To a certain type ofthan mere execution"

"Well, okay, but I don't see-" Vian "And you look at this door and what you see is a really strong cell door, yes?"

"Of course You've only got to look at the bolts and-"

"You know, I'm really rather pleased," said Lord Vetinari quietly

Vimes stared at the door until his eyebrows ached And then, just as rando in any way, beco ship, he sahat he'd been looking at all along

A sense of terrifying admiration overcame him He wondered what it was like in the Patrician's ht, all blued steel and icicles and little wheels clicking along like a huge clock The kind of mind that would carefully consider its onfall and turn it to advantage

It was a perfectly noreon door, but it all depended on your sense of perspective

In this dungeon the Patrician could hold off the world

All that was on the outside was the lock

All the bolts and bars were on the inside

The rank cla mist was boiled off by the sun Not that there would be any clear air today-sticky swathes of smoke and stale steam wreathed the city and filled the air with the sad smell of dampened cinders

"What is this place?" said Carrot, helping the others along a greasy ay

Sergeant Colon looked around at the forest of chier's whisky distillery," he said "On a direct line, see, between the palace and the plaza It's bound to fly over here"

Nobby looked wistfully over the side of the building

"I bin in there once," he said "Checked the door one dark night and it just came open in my hand"

"Eventually, I expect," said Colon sourly

"Well, I had to go in, din't I, to check there was noplace in there All pipes and stuff And the smell!"

" 'Every bottle matured for up to seven o', it says on the label Daht, too I had a drop once, and I went all day''

He knelt down and unwrapped the long sacking package he had beenthe clin and a quiver of arrows

He picked up the boly, reverentially, and ran his pudgy fingers along it

"You know," he said quietly, "I was daood with this, when I were a lad The captain should of let ht"

"You keep on telling us," said Nobby unsympathetically

"Well, I used to win prizes" The sergeant unwound a nestring, looped it around one end of the bow, stood up, pressed down, grunted a bit

"Er Carrot?" he said, slightly out of breath