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'I think there's some people here to see you,' said Mort, and hurried away As he reached the passageway the Vizier's soul started to screa patiently by Binky, asa late lunch of a five-hundred-year-old bonsai tree

'One down,' said Mort, cli about the next one, and we haven't much time'

Albert materialised in the centre of Unseen University, in the same place, in fact, from which he had departed the world sorunted with satisfaction and brushed a few specks of dust off his robe

He beca up, he discovered that he had flashed into existence under the stern aze of himself

He adjusted his spectacles and peered disapprovingly at the bronze plaque screwed to his pedestal It said:

'Alberto Malich, Founder of This University AM 1,222-1,289 "We Will Not See His Like Again"'

So ht so much of him they could at least have hired a decent sculptor It was disgraceful The nose was all wrong Call that a leg? People had been carving their names on it, too He wouldn't be seen dead in a hat like that, either Of course, if he could help it, he wouldn't be seen dead at all

Albert airinned evilly as it exploded into dust

'Right,' he said to the Disc at large, 'I'ic coursed all the way up his arlow in his mind How he'dthrough the big double doors at the sound of the explosion and cleared the wrong conclusion fro start

There was the pedestal, e And striding out of it,to himself, was Albert

The wizards at the back of the crowd started to have it away as quickly and quietly as possible There wasn't one of them that hadn't, at some time in his jolly youth, put a common bedroom utensil on old Albert's head or carved his name somewhere on the statue's chilly anatomy, or spilled beer on the pedestal Worse than that, too, during Rag Week when the drink flowed quickly and the privy seeer These had all seemed hilarious ideas at the tiures reot his robe caught in the door and the other because he was, in fact, an ape and could therefore take a relaxed attitude to hurabbed the wizard, as trying desperately to walk into the wall The ht, I adosh, I' about, enuinely puzzled

'-- so sorry, if I tried to tell you how sorry I alanced down at the little ape, who gave him a warm friendly smile 'What's your naht away, no more nonsense, sirRincewind, sir Assistant librarian, if it's all right by you'

Albert looked him up and down Theleft out for the laundry He decided that if this izarding had co about it

'What sort of librarian would have you for assistant?' he de like awarlove tried to hold his hand

'A , sir He used to be a wizard but got caught in soic, sir, noon't let us turn him back, and he's the only one who knohere all the books are,' said Rincewind urgently 'I look after his bananas,' he added, feeling solared at hiht away, sir'

'And tell me where Death is'

'Death, sir?' said Rincewind, backing against the wall

Tall, skeletal, blue eyes, stalks, TALKS LIKE THISDeath Seen him lately?'

Rincewind sed 'Not lately, sir'

'Well, I want hi to stop it now, see? I want the eight ht, in half an hour with all the necessary equipment to perforht of you lot gives me any confidence Bunch of pantywaisters the lot of you, and stop trying to holdto the pub,' snapped Albert 'Do they sell any halfway decent cat's piss anywhere these days?'

There's the Drum, sir,' said Rincewind

'The Broken Druree Street? Still there?'

'Well, they change the name sometimes and rebuild it completely but the site has been, er, on the site for years I expect you're pretty dry, eh, sir?' Rincewind said, with an air of ghastly camaraderie

'What would you know about it?' said Albert sharply

'Absolutely nothing, sir,' said Rincewind pro to the Dru for me when I come back, then well, they'd just better be!'

He stormed out of the hall in a cloud of o The librarian held his hand

'You know the worst of it?' said Rincewind

'Oook?'

'I don't even re under a mirror'

At about the ti with the landlord over a yellowing bar tab that had been handed down carefully froicide, three civil wars, sixty-one major fires, four hundred and ninety robberies and more than fifteen thousand barroom brawls to record the fact that Alberto Malich still owed the e at the contents of ain that an Ankhian merchant with an unpaid bill has the kind of memory that would make an elephant blinkat about this tireat mysterious continent of Klatch

Far below drules and colu mist rose from hidden rivers where nameless beasts lurked under the surface and waited for supper to walk past

'There's no more cheese, you'll have to have the haht over there?'

The Light Dalass out of his pocket and checked the level of the sand

'But not close enough, daht hubwards of their course, which is exactly what they were; some of the tribes constructed mirror walls in the desert htly heavy It was used as currency