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"You said you could still be yourself," he said "Prove it"

"Sorry?"

"It’s killing et that you believe I’ you as somestand-in for my ex I’m not You’re not her, and I’ve never for one ht out--do you still feel so?"

His directness took her breath away for a moment, and so did the steady, calm way he studied her "I really hated you when I found out about Jane," she said "Apart fros that have happened to me, it felt like the only person I could trust stuck the knife in"

A shadow moved over him, and she saw his face tense, ready for the blow

"But I still do love you," she said then, quietly "I alth, becausebecause I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, like Jane Or lose you And that would destroyeye contact again, said, "Would you let ht now"

She was afraid to--not because she thought she’d hate it, but because she was afraid that it would unleash a torrent of feelings she couldn’t control Things that ain Of the two of them, it was Patrick who had a bit of darkness in him, and she couldn’t let that carry him away, either

But she came into his arms

His lips met hers with exquisite slowness

The war on hers before the touch, whisper-soft and then firh where his beard rubbed her chin It was a long kiss, and it tasted like dark things to her, sweet and disturbing And it le and respond, and she broke free with a gasp

"Go," she whispered, and sank down on the bed "Please just leave I’m sorry"

He didn’t speak, and he didn’t delay for more than a few seconds; she saw him in the periphery of her vision as he moved aalked to the door, and she heard the click of the catch as he pulled it shut behind him

Only then did she raise her hand to her lips

Whatever netiser than logic and reason Stronger than pain and disappointment She wanted him Every part of her body needed him

And she couldn’t possibly deal with that, and the complications it represented Not now

She undressed, wrapped herself in sheets and blankets, and surrendered herself to the darkness, for a few precious hours of restless, nightmare-driven sleep

• • •

It was hard to tell night frorahts slowly increased in intensity, and Bryn woke up feeling as if she were bathed inCalm

And then she reround, she was essentially dead, and people really were trying to destroy everyone she loved So that good feeling passed quickly

She still treasured the shower; coht be the last luxury she experienced for a while, so shesoap, and floral shaain, and then she put on the saht before They felt cool and coainst her flushed skin She brushed her teeth and hair, and looked in the , silent ht When someone ht to stop looking like yourself It was confusing, and probably heartbreaking for everyone around her, that her new flesh-craving self looked sonor and snarling, at the very least It was only decent

A knock at the door startled her out of useless conte there, fully kitted out in street clothes, with a bulky black duffel bag slung over his shoulder He rubbed his shaved head and gave her an i," he said "Tiured," she said, and shut the door behind her as she stepped out in the hall with hieared up?"