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IN OUR LINE OF BUSINESS YOU DON’T OFTEN GET TO WORK UNDERCOVER

In the first place, you have to coives you away¡ªnot your aura, or any streaht And the situation here is quite siician, then you won’t be discovered by icians weaker than you (ie, those who are sixth- and seventh-level) If you’re a first-level ician, then you’re concealed froician beyond classification well, then you can hope that no one will recognize you I was disguised by Gesar himself Immediately afterward, I spoke to Svetlana¡ªa conversation that was brief, but painful No, we didn’t quarrel She was just very upset

And in the second place, you need a cover story The siical ladly believe you’re their brother, their son-in-law’s father, or the army buddy they drank hoical cover story will leave traces that any reasonably powerful Other can spot

So there was no ic at all involved in my cover story Gesar handed me the keys to an apartment in the Assol cohth floor The apartht six months earlier

When I opened my eyes wide at that, Gesar explained that the docu money And the apartot the key to the BMW just to add substance to my story It wasn’t a new car, or the most luxurious model, but then my apartment was a small one too

Then a tailor came into the office¡ªa mournful little old Jew, a seventh-level Other He took my , and then, he said, "This boy will start to look like a man" Gesar was extremely polite with the tailor He opened the door for hioodbye, he asked ti on The tailor told him there was no need to worry¡ªa coat worthy of the Most Lucent Gesar would be ready before the cold weather set in

After hearing that, I wasn’t so delighted by the decision that I could keep enuine, s in half a day

Gesar hiht ave me a wad of banknotes and the address of a shop and orderedelse tounderwear, handkerchiefs, and socks I was offered the services of Ignat as a consultant¡ªone of our icians ould have been called an incubus in the Day Watch Or a succubus¡ªhe didn’t really care much either way

The expedition around the boutiques, where Ignat felt right at ho But the visit to the hairdresser’s, or rather, the "Beauty Salon," left uy who tried to act like he was gay, although he wasn’t, took turns inspectingtime and made uncomplimentary remarks about my hairdresser If their wishes had co the wool off y sheep for the rest of his life And for some reason in Tajikistan This was clearly the most terrible hairdresser’s curse I even decided that after my mission I’d drop into the second-class hairdresser’s where I’d been getting my hair cut for the last year, just toover the man’s head

The collective wisdom of the beauty specialists was that my only hope of salvation was a short comb-cut, like one of those small-time hoods who fleece the traders at the market In consolation they told me that the forecast was for a hot summer and I’d feel more comfortable with a short haircut

After the haircut, which took more than an hour, I was subjected to a nat was satisfied, he took me to a dentist, who re on his drill and advised me to have the procedure repeated every six months After the procedure my teeth felt somehow naked¡ªit was even unpleasant to touch theue I couldn’t think of what to say in reply to Ig-nat’s ah to fall in love with!" and justincomprehensible All the way back to the office I served as a defenseless target for his unsubtle wit

The suit was already waiting fora suit without a second fitting was like getting married on ie made on impulse was as successful as that suit, the incidence of divorce would be reduced to zero

Gesar spoke to the tailor about his coat again They had a long, heated arguician finally capitulated And I stood by the , looking out at the evening street and the sht of the alarm system in "my" car

I hoped no one would steal hten away petty thieves That would givebehind the Russian spy Stirlitz, as the old joke goes

That night I was due to sleep in the new apartment And I had to pretend it wasn’t the first ti foror pussycat I didn’t even have any fish in an aquariu I didn’t

"Do you understand your mission, Gorodetsky?" Gesar asked The tailor had left while I was pining at theMy new suit felt aly comfortable Despite the new haircut, I didn’t feel like a thug who terrorized market traders, but someone a bit more serious Maybe a collector of protection money from small shops

"Move into Assol Associate with ade Other and his potential client When I find theators behave civilly, exchange information, be cooperative"

Gesar stood beside me at theHe nodded

"All correct, Anton, all correct Only you’ve left out the "

"Oh yes?" I asked

"Youto any theories Not even the most likely ones especially the ht be a vaht not"

I nodded

"He ht turn out to be a Light One"

I didn’t say anything I’d been thinking the sa

"And most important of all," Gesar added "Re into an Other’ could be a bluff"

"And maybe not?" I asked "Gesar, is it really possible to turn a hu into an Other?"

"Do you really think I would have hidden so like that?" Gesar asked "So many Others with broken lives so many fine people conde of the kind has ever happened before But there’s a first ti"

"Then I’ll assuive you any amulets," Gesar advised me "You understand why And you’d better refrain fro that is perht But if the need arises, we’ll be there quickly Just call"

He paused and then added, "I’ any violent confrontations But you must be prepared for thee before It was a good thing that at least there weren’t ht and the securitythe internal observationplaces for my cars were

Apparently it was assumed that I had at least two cars

After I parked, I took the bag with s out of the trunk, set the car’s alarm system, and walk toward the exit The security man was amazed, and he asked me if the elevators were out of order I had to wrinkle up h the air and say I hadn’t been there for about a year

The security man asked which floor I lived on, in which block, and then he showed me the way to the elevator

Surrounded by chrohth floor I actually felt rather insulted that I lived so lon Well, I hadn’t exactly been expecting the penthouse, but even so

On the landing¡ªif you can apply that dreary term to a hall with one hundred square feet of floor space¡ªI wandered from one door to another for a while The fairytale had co, and behind the blank aperture there was a gigantic, dark, empty room¡ªconcrete walls, a concrete floor, no internal divisions I could hear the faint sound of water dripping

It tooktime to choose between the three doors that were in place¡ªthere weren’t any numbers on them Eventually I discovered a number someone had scratched on one door with a sharp object, and the reures in chalk on another It looked likeof them all It would have been just like Gesar to

put me in the apartment that didn’t even have a door, but then the cover story would have been shot to pieces

I took out a bundle of keys and opened the door fairly easily I looked for a light switch and found an entire battery of little levers

I started switching them on one at a tiht I closed the door behind htfully

Maybe there was so to this after all Maybe

The previous owner of the apart to the cover story, that waswork, I’d obviously been full of truly Napoleonic plans How else could I explain the custom-made patterned parquet, the oakframes, the Daikin air conditioners and other distinctive features of a truly sumptuous residence?

But after that I must have run out of money Because the i walls¡ªwas absolute untouched, virginal In the corner where the kitchen was supposed to be there was a lopsided old Brest gas cooker, which could well have been used for cooking se on its burners, as if to say "Do not use!" was a basic microwave oven But then there was a luxurious extractor hood hanging above the appalling cooker Huddling pitifully alongside it were two stools and a low serving table

From sheer force of habit I took my shoes off and walked over into the kitchen corner There was no refrigerator and no furniture either, but there was a big cardboard box standing on the floor, full of supplies¡ªbottles of mineral water and vodka, cans of food, packets of dry soup, boxes of crackers Thanks, Gesar If only you’d thought of getting me a saucepan as well

From the "kitchen" I moved toward the doorway of the bathrooh not to display the toilet and the Jacuzzi for everyone to see

I opened the door and looked around the bathroo turquoise tiles A futuristic-looking shower¡ªit was frightening just to think how y it was stuffed with

But there wasn’t any Jacuzzi There wasn’t any kind of bath at all¡ªjust the blocked-off water pipes sticking up in the corner And in addition

I dashed around the bathroom until I finally confirmed my terrible suspicion

There was no toilet there either!

Just the exit pipe to the drains blocked off with a wooden plug

Gee, thanks, Gesar!

Stop, no need to panic They didn’t put just one bathroom in apartments like these There had to be another one¡ªfor guests, for children, for servants

I darted back out into the studio space and found that other door in the corner, right beside the entrance My premonition had not deceived uests There wasn’t supposed to be a bathtub here, and the shoas simpler

But instead of a toilet, there was just another plugged pipe

Disaster

Noas really screwed!

Of course, I knew the genuine professionals didn’t take any notice of such petty details If James Bond ever went to the rest-room, it was only to eavesdrop on so in the tank

But I had to live here

For a few seconds I thought about calling Gesar and de a pluined what his reply would be

For soh and gave the order, after which someone like the head plumber of all Moscow caain and shook his head

Magicians of his level didn’t make mistakes in the detail Their mistakes were cities in flames, bloody wars, and the impeachment of presidents But not overlooked sanitary conveniences

If there was no toilet in my apartment, then that was the way it was ain I found a rolled-up n I laid out the ed into e about clinical death¡ªI couldn’t wear a tie in my own apartment, could I? I took out et into the Internet via my cell phone then?

I had to make yet another search of the aparte bathroom, but at least it was on the side of the "studio" roolanced into the bathrooht¡ªthere was another socket beside the non-existent toilet bowl

I’d had so on the place

The poas on That was good at least, but it wasn’t the reason I’d come here

Simply in order to dispel the oppressive silence, I opened the s The war into the roo in the s of the buildings¡ªthe ordinary, hus But the silence was just as intense No wonder, it was after ed through my collection and chose ’The White Guard’¡ªa group that was never going to top the charts on MTV or fill sports stadiums I stuck the earphones in my ears and stretched out on the mattress

When this battle is over,

If you survive until the dawn,

You’ll realize the scent of victory

Is as bitter as the smoke of defeat

And you’re alone on the cold battlefield,

With no enemies from now on,

But the sky presses down on your shoulders,

What can you do in this empty desert?

But you ait

For what ti,

You ait

And honey will taste more bitter than salt,

Your tears more bitter than the ood in the steppes,

And I know of no pain worse than this,

To be alive a

But you ait