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I closed my eyes briefly, took a deep breath, then stepped forward

It was then that Azriel appeared and blocked ? The words seeht, and an odd hush fell around us

I’m sorry, Risa, but this cannot happen

It is o

It is better for everyone--

Not everyone, he said and with such ferocity the very world around us quivered under its force Definitely not everyone

Then he reached out, grabbed my arm, and yanked me forward

Not into death

Into life

I have no idea how long it tooktime, desperate to snatch back what had been taken Desperate to find that reaper again and move on, to be with uilt and the never-ending expectations of others

But that was an option that was not mine to take Not now

When I finally did open uess that was no surprise I did have people who cared for ht now If I’d ain be responsible for their safety

You are not responsible for our safety, Risa We arecare of ourselves

The voice wasn’t Azriel’s It was Aunt Riley’s

I turnedat the end of my hospital bed, her arirl, will stop wishing yourself dead and start celebrating the fact you were given a second chance"

"I wasn’t given anything," I retorted "It was forced ontoaway, however you intended to do it, is never the answer--trust me on that"

"It would have been a hell of a lot easier than re forced--"

I cut the words off before I could reveal a little tooforced to do what?"

"The bidding of the fucking Raziq and od knoho else Ilianna was kidnapped because of hts for control of his own body because of me My mother is dead because of et into this?"

Tears stung er suddenly just washed away "It was Lucian who killed her"

"And he’s dead?"

"Well and truly"

"Good" She athered ht now that death would be the easier option, but trust me, it isn’t"

"But the keys--"

"We can sort out the key probleether," she said "But you cannot allow yourself to fall into the trap of death There are those in this world who can recall spirits and force the What makes you think they will not do that to you?"

"Because they need me in flesh form to find--"

"So they’ve told you," she cut in, "but are you certain it’s the truth?"

No, I wasn’t I took a deep, shuddering breath and released it slowly "Life," I said softly, "sucks"

She laughed and bent over to drop a kiss on lad you decided to stay with us I couldn’t bear to lose you so soon after losing your mother"

If she’d wanted me in tears, then she’d daentle finger "I couldn’t be more proud of you if you were one of my own You know that, don’t you?"

I knew In her eyes, she’d always had six children, not five Dia iven birth to me, but Riley had nevertheless adopted me And I loved her almost as much as I loved my own ers againstbehavior You can and will have our help, whether you like it or not Now," she added, brisk and businesslike, "Ilianna is waiting out in the hall, desperate to see you, but she’s under strict orders from the nurses and from me not to be more than a few minutes Okay?"

"Okay"

She went out Two seconds later, Ilianna appeared I smiled, utterly relieved to see her safe and sound, but there was tension in me, too I was ultimately responsible for what had happened to her, after all

But when aze rose to hers, all I saas complete and utter acceptance of all that had happened There was no hate, no bitterness, not even regret or reproach Just acceptance

And I foundI could find even half of her serenity Those daain "God, Ilianna--"

"Ris, it’s okay," she said "This event was foretold a long tiht it would be Carwyn’s child I’d bear, I can’t regret what happened Not knohat I do of her fate"

"But he forced you--"

"He used ic, yes, and it wasn’t pleasant, but neither was it life-ending I hate him, but I can’t hate the result"