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She nodded, one slow ranite "They don’t give you any time to protect yourself, do they?"

"No That’s the point, and they know it They know our souls, that there’s so down, he cupped her face with that tre else "It’s hard at first, but those who are meant for it will embrace it after a ti"

She’d figured that part out, even though now that it was over, she didn’t want to understand She didn’t even want to think Since he was going to stand there until she went into the bathroo the door As soon as she heard his heavy tread back down the hallway, her knees gave out and she cruainst her mouth, she contained the sobs that welled up into her throat, her other arm wrapped around her body so the pressure didn’t break her ribs with their force

She knew she shouldn’t be acting this way If Mal decided to take a look inside her ht not love her, but he did obviously care about her, the sa of his cats, the people at his station She knuckled at her eyes, baring her teeth at herself The only frustration he should feel ith her lack of sophistication Lady Danny never cried, never broke down like this In fact, if so’s head off its shoulders and then ask for a nice spot of tea afterward With a biscuit

When things were cru, she tried to make herself smile, but this tio, but all of a sudden it was as if she was grieving anew, not for hi harder, and she could not coe bathrooured that hy she didn’t hear hi behind her where she was cruhs spread in a squat so he was able to pull her into the vee theyher face in his chest, curling her hands hard into the fine shirt she’d spent sofor him so he’d look properly respectable in front of Lord Marshall Now she was going to wrinkle it and blotch it up with tears And the tile was cold under her bare bottoathered her up and lifted her, and was sitting on a s her so close in his arether "Easy, sweet girl Easy"

He did that soft singsong he did, the one with no real words It hat he sang as he ht Their ears would prick, following hi to theot to hear Except her

"II a less"

He rubbed her back as her sobs became those tiny sentences, confessed to the safety of his da shirtfront "Sory at ot hiirl And that thought’s unbearable Early on, I had this awful dreaates It wasn’t like the Pearly Gates, not the way they say, but like the entrance to a wonderful sprawling station, with children running about, and laughing, busy people, and lots of sunshine He was standing against those gates, and he told o, because I couldn’t be there That he didn’t want ry"

"That was your worry, projecting itself in a dream He doesn’t feel that way"

"How do you know?" She lifted her face to hih she was sure her face was as blotchy and wet as his shirt

"Because whatever waits for us after, once we get there we understand all the things we didn’t while ere alive" He curled a lock of her hair around her ear He didn’t look the least bit hurried or concerned, though she well knew he shouldn’t be in here He gave her an ad look and continued "There’s only acceptance and love, and e coether, we know it’s all as it was meant to be"

"Do you really believe that?"

"For you, yes Because you deserve such a place" Tracing her brow, hea new tear there "My mother made me feel the way you described She loved me as I was I don’t res to survive But I re"