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It’s true, Moses I’e I’d bet my whole real self on it

Your whole real self, he says with disdain

I’ Nothing at all

You just want taken out of here You would say anything You would thieve my aid with your deception

No, Moses, no It ain’t that

Then what? Then give me to understand why you would of purchased his life, his freedoressor A reprobate who for two decades has been only ation to keep and defend – and that only cause I’ressor The world seeks to correct hihtly course – succeed or fail as I ht And succeed I have, over and over Except I will fail One day A ers loosen And who are you to intervene on this transgressor’s behalf?

But it wasn’t for him, Mose Don’t you see hoasn’t for him?

Then what? For the cheapness of the price? The ease of credit granted you by your sorry lot in life?

No, not that either

Now he says nothing, because he can tell what she will say next There is a look in the eyes that precedes soe is laid with look You roll it out with the eye and then you utter it with the tongue He is already recoiling fro it devastates decency itself For in lies such as these there is the unbearable possibility of truth

She gazes up at hione wet

It was for you, Moses, she says For you

Iot to knohat it is – to hear such a thing and crave for it so to be true but also know at the same time that it ain’t The more wished for some words are, the more unlikely they are to carry truth when finally uttered Language is cri is the very thing that makes it i – shootin stars or dandelions or eyelashes or pennies in wells I say noThat’s my covenant and my directive Life comes It comes willy-nilly It’s best to open your eyes to it and cease the buildin of lofty castles in your head – or you could blind yourself with earnest prayers

Eleven

A Christening " Fletcher’s End " The Destruction of the Gasworks " An Identification by Boots " A Death " The Compass of the Self " Nature " A Dream of Dolphins " A Search " A Vision

It ain’t true, he says and shakes his head in absolute refusal My brother’s still here I can feel it

Then the Vestal spins on her heels and unleashes her full fury, like a poison capsule broke into a cup of water

Goddamn you, Moses, she says Why don’t you just for once in your life shut up about your piss-ant brother You want to die here, then die here What’s happening out in the world ain’t nothing coot in you, Mose Jesus, you’d follow those little codes of yours straight into your grave You don’t always have to take the bait, you know Soo

She walks to the door, still talking as her back is to hiht – but it ain’t gonna be here And if it is, I want it to coet the hell out See you in heaven, Mose – I hope it’s designed to your specifications

She is nearly out the door before Moses Todd calls to her

Hold up, he says

She stops, but she does not turn to face hirips the handle of the door

Your name, he says What is it?

My name?

I know it ain’t Amata And I know it ain’t that other name Fletcher calls you So what is it? Your true name

You want to know my name?

She says the words to the door in a voice so s it has been since she has last said her own na since she has been simply herself

Yes, he says Your naed to know it

There is quiet for a moment – a brief interim in which even the sounds of the battle outside seeh the whole world takes a breath and waits on the exhale Everyone is heartbeats in their ears

Then she says so, but it is so low and mumbled into the door that he can’t hear it

What? he says I couldn’t--

Mattie, she says, turning towards hi him her painted, sparkled face one last tihtness – as if all her fears, so ht My name’s Mattie

He opens his mouth to speak, but there are no words He would like to take the nael as another blade to rip and tear at the world – and then he could feel the whole true talon sharpness of it