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"I know" He slid his fingers down my face, over my neck and cupped my hips "Let’s just do this quickly, okay Lay down"

My knees treed blood and sweat these floorboards had soaked up since this whole thing began And Arthur lowered hi my neck prickle under his s me up in his arms; I felt small but safe, cradled into his chest

"You s n, his breath hot down the curve ofthe flesh above ; this was Arthur--not David, not even Jason; he was my husband’s uncle--a man I looked up to A man I cared about, but never wanted to be with this way I closed th

"It’s tiht and ed to rollon the chill of the cold ground under my tailbone, up each vertebra in my spine and across my shoulders

As I lay flat, the world around er, like there was suddenly more space, or like the roof I’d seen a thousand tiht, seemed to sitaround the fear and hesitation insideat?" I asked Arthur

He studiedit so slowly I held "

"I’m nineteen"

"Precisely" He dropped his hand, his head following "I’m afraid what this will do to you"

"I’ve been through worse"

He laughed, but I couldn’t really see his sh--his perfect vas I would never have showed his at the knees, and he knelt between theh

"Oh, God," I said to myself

"Just don’t look" He wiped his thumb over my eyelid "Just close your eyes"

"I…I can’t," I said, looking up at hiue, sinking back "Amara"

"I’ether

"You’re not okay"

I nodded "I am"

"We can do this another time if you’re not ready"

I shook my head "It needs to be now"

He h his nose, his eyes square with hesitation "Okay Just…just iers inthe riet far with these in the way"

I shut hs, over ether My legs completely open; Arthur between them

He slid his hands under my bottom and pulled ainst the war the fear and concern I was feeling, too One movement, one millimetre and he’d be in me--and with just a few strokes, all this would be over Providing I actually fell pregnant

"I’ to check you first--make sure you’re wet"

"Wai--?" My toes curled over and I juer just inside me, then pulled it away

"You’re not ready It’ll hurt if you’re dry"

All I could feel was a flood of adrenaline inthem weak, unattached, disturbed by the tension andreachedsobs

Arthur’s whole body ed backward inside him "I’m so sorry, Amara," he said "I never wanted to see you this way--to touch you this way"

"I know, Arthur," I said, wiping warm tears from my temples and ears "But I can’t lose hi lip

"Oh no" The shaking indinner inch up my throat I covered ht?"

"Monna be sick"

He moved back just in tiut all over the training rooasped, a shirt came over my shoulders, and I felt the air on my cheeks and jahere my hair had been Arthur held it back until I finished, reaching around to guide ainst his chest after

"Feel better?" He chuckled, wipingcool and cotton, then placed the square of fabric intothe horrid, sour taste inI wrapped my shaky arms across it "I’m sorry, Arthur"

"No need to be sorry,ainst es of puke or saliva aith his thureat deal, don’t you?"

I nodded into his chest

"And you know I…I love David, too, Amara But, I’m sorry--" His chest sunk "I just can’t do this to you I just can’t have you this way"

I looked up at hi I…" Heacross the room

"Arthur, please?" I sat up from him; he looked down at my naked chest and pulled his shirt to coverquiet "Arthur Please say so?"

"Perhaps we should just let Drake live"

My world rocked, heat rising as anger insideas he knows Drake wants to steal power from our unborn child"

Arthur nodded "I know this But look at you--look what you’ve done to yourself"

I looked over my shoulder at the stinky pile of vomit "I can’t lose him"