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But I never felt safe Not really And the worst part was, until now, I didn’t understand so It was never in the sense that I was afraid I’d be kidnapped or tortured, this was before all that; this hen I felt afraid of having nothing I wondered hoould live if I didn’t have a bed or food or my mum and dad, and now I’ve coether; you don’t need any of it You don’t need a bed or food or love, because, at the end of the day, even without all that, you’re still alive While you’rebecause you can’t hold those you love, you are surely and definitely still alive It’s the cruelty of the world, I suppose--to take everything we need, everything we thought we needed to survive, and show us our hearts will keep on beating; ill keep on breathing without it

And that’s when you have to hope That’s what hope is

Nothing is final until you’re dead

I looked up at the clouds and closed my eyes as the warht all over

Where there is life, there is hope And I wasn’t a little girl anymore; I couldn’t lay in my bed, safe and ith my dad down the hall--the one who always knehat to do; the one who always told me it would be okay It was my job to be that now And maybe I didn’t feel like it would all be okay; maybe I was scared all the time, but I at least had to be the one who said it would be okay I had to be the leader

But I learned that too late

I openedbreath, then poked at the seeping gash on my arm; it ollen and red, probably infected, since, out here, I no longer seemed to be Lilithian I was more human than I’d ever been before And it hurt and it sucked and I hated every breath of it But this was it for me now This would be my new life, and all I could do was find some food or some water and wander every tiny inch of this forest until, ain Who knows? It wasn’t much, but it was…a hope

And at least if I eventually did make it out, I could say that I’d done it on my own--that I may have failed my people, but I did not fail ed up an endless hill; I could see the top, but as the sun ed, and when I looked back behind h I’d only taken forty steps

The sun glared down oninto the swollen, yawning cuts all overfro the small shrubberies into sandwiches as I passed them--just to tease me

By now, everyone would know I failed David would be worried; he would’ve pinched his brow, probably even shook his head Deep down inside, he kneasn’t capable of this--Mike knew, everyone kneas the only one who didn’t I was the only one who actually believed Iof another Arthur He believed in me, too He always did And I couldn’t understand why I never gave hi clever I learned about ruling, I learned from him But maybe that was the point Maybe it wasn’t that I was du Of all the people ould shake their heads in disappointment at this useless princess, Arthur would be the one man ould take lad to have me back If I ever made it out of here

As I distracted round under me I fell to my knees and lockedit, but I kneithmy lip or dirt in my mouth which would just dry it out eventoo racefully and sat on the ground, ernails stung, like the blood was tightening as it dried, peeling the delicate skin around h saliva to spit on the to rub the skin back the right way

In the forest beside , ignorant to the agony I’d suffered, was a beautiful blue and black butterfly It let the soft breeze carry it, landing right on the corner ofnot to breathe on it "What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

Without answering, it rose up into the air and fluttered to the border of the trees, where it sat on the ground for a second, shaking its wings And so for a second I struggled toontoin the earth Each grain of dirt stuck to the dried blood, wriggling under the lifted skin around ed out a solid little key

"How did you get all the way out here?" I said, wiping my thumb over the sy and tangling around itself; no beginning; no end A thin silver chain hung down fro, like a spider’s web in the sunlight The key was old, thatIt looked as though it belonged to so the chain around s to me, now" It rested neatly just below er than the onefrom--my own little treasure, the key to allaside the silly idea that they key ht be a metaphor--the key to hope No way That’s way too corny

As I took a step, heading to who knohere, my ears pricked to attention Somewhere in the distance, I was sure I heard voices The newfound idea of hoping awakened my positive internal thinker and so, I farewelled the endless valley with one loathsolimpse, and walked toward the ‘possible’ chatter

But I only took two steps beforearound the ht I’d ever seen People! My insides went on a frenzy They’d found st inout the voluth I hadn’t usednow I could hardly re, I moistened my throat with the last stratuone again, but darkness shouldn’t affect his hearing I trudged over the dry ground and stood right beside hi

"Mike"

But he didn’t hearon so with hiaze, and realised they were all watching one thing;and my heart washed aith a breath of pure shock

The blood oath

There, by the Stone of Truth, kneeling, eyes closed, bloodied wrist outstretched, was--me! I hadn’t left yet? I was still there

"No!" I ran toward ? We’ve done this! We’ve done this!" I yelled at her, but she didn’t hear "Please? I walked all night Don’t you see?"

None of theh; they all watched her as she cut herself open and bled on the Stone, her lipswith the words of her pro backward until I found the welco me up "Please stop," I whispered to myself "Please don’t say the oath"

Her words trickled through et, and without looking up, without taking a breath, she lifted the dagger and held it to her chest