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"Did you sleep well?" My Dad asks I sain, "I slept like I haven’t slept in a hundred years" She laughs and I know the sound It’s distant but I remember it Like wind chimes I once heard but will reh and nod, "I know that feeling" I reh and hug She pours my coffee and he smiles when he passes me the butter My brothers bicker and make fun of me with Shell I feel like I’

Hours later, sitting in the car with Stuart driving, I’o back with Eli and he wasn’t bold enough to drag me to his car in front of my Dad and brothers I have a Dad and brothers Protection of lance up and nod, "Awesome"

Stuart looks atYourwe all couys there too"

Shell narrows her eyes, "What did Eli do? You looked ready to murder him"

I shake my head, "The usual shit You know Eli"

Stuart nods but Shell shakes her head, "I don’t actually"

I laugh, "Well you’re nota lot It’s just whether you want to see what all you’re

I look behind us and see hier in his eyes It makes me nervous

Stuart looks at me, "He says I have to take you to his place"

I look back and give hie to Sebastian quickly

’Meetin ten-ht?’ He texts e It hurts but I need him

’Yup’

I hate what I’m about to do I’ I dash from the SUV and run across the road to the white Porsche parked out front I julance at it and sigh

"What’s going on? Are you alright?" Sebastian looks confused

I shake my head, "No I needed to talk to you" I look at hiine revs "Can you take ry and I don’t bla up with lances atup with you I’ you from the insanity that is me" I turn and face hiirl"

He licks his lips and nods I hate what I about to do to hio a boy held his hand out for otten past it No o, all I see is his hand His fucked up, bizarre, daed hand" I stop and listen tosense But let me just say this, no uy’s girl I’vein my mind that I can’t even move around in there It’s not that I can even be with him I just won’t ever be without him I’ll never be whole without hi on the e you You need to distance yourself and find your true feelings"

"Froreenest hazel eyes ever and the most broken look on his face I force myself to look at him and see every ounce of pain

He stops the car and looks down, "Yesterday was a I don’t even knohat to say about it all But I think I’ around I think I’ve gone as far as I can, waiting for you to get better"

"I know" I want to tell him I’ll never be better This is better But I don’t want to prolong the conversation I just want out of the car

He looks atto Los Angeles for work and I don’t knohen I will be back"

"Okay"

He leans over and kisses my cheek so softly it barely touches, "Take care of yourself"

"I will You too"

He looks back at the steering wheel I cli myself

My brain hurts