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The weight of hiainst rabbing for the waist bin I lose the s, trying to be quiet I leavethe bin and run for the bathrooht of hiical but it caure

There was so hi soh I can see the bad things in the dirty house I can’t closeelse co left inside of me

"What else happened to you Emalyn?" He is beside the door His voice is soft

I shake my head, "I don’t know"

"You do"

"I swear I don’t My mind won’t let me remember" With the door between us I feel the best I ever have about our relationship I love having his I’ come to a conclusion "I can’t see you anyripping the srow past here This is it I’ beyond this"

"I can wait We’ve only been at this a short amount of time" His voice is desperate

"It’s cruel to ask you to hold out" Tears fill my eyes, they try to make the kaleidoscopes but I blink thes "I’e" I stand and dump the pail in the toilet I rinse it out with hand soap and dry it with a towel

"E so well"

The sentence stings co from him It shows me the truth

"You like that I’ht You want me to need you to keep me safe" I mutter I pray he didn’t hear it

I look at irl who never made it out of the scary house alive I see her I’ll always see her She is irl who lived and found food on the streets I’ll never be that girl I’ for us both, but I need to start seeing things for what they are She is one of the only memories I have of the dirty house She is the only one I need

My dead fish eyes stare back at me I splash water on my face and let it come in and take over I’m not afraid when I open the door The look of terror and fear that was on ain Even if I beg him to

He looks hurt and beaten down I walk past him I feel for my cell in my pocket and pick up my runners I don’t hunt down my shirt I would rather be nearly naked, and just in s and see hi

There are no words

Chapter Seven

"He just wants to see you Just once" Her eyes are shiny and desperate

I shake ain? So I can throhen he touches me?"

She slumps on the bed, "Can’t you just be his friend?"

I sn s He h to have them"

She squeezes my hand, "Em, you are We made it this far"

I smile, "I know I’m happy about this far Shell I like it here I want to finish school and have a nor what it is"

She shakes her head, "No I don’t believe it" She gets up and leaves the rooone for a minute I see her keys on the bedside table and moan I climb off the bed and open the door I can’t breathe when I see him He steps in and closes the door His hands reach for mine His skin burns me His eyes are desperate and wild

"W-what are y-you d-doing here?" I am alainst the door, letting go of ap between us

"I needed to see you"

I like that word need I like that he needs oodbye in person I never got to say the things I wanted to"

My heart aches instantly

"I love you, Eet in return But I do You’ve gotyou all the time You have all the cards and I don’t even care I’d chase you around the world" His voice drops off at the end and becomes a forced whisper

His hazel eyes are shiny and co but you for the last couple ht, I can’t seeh I refuse to see it all, the look in your eyes says all the things you won’t I know, in et past this I can’t forceIt’s about the only thing I can do I need to sleep and not see your face every time I close my eyes I hate that you think I want you broken and injured so you need s from him and the acceptance that I’m a hopeless freak was never one of them

"I can’t force this between us and I can’t live with the look you give me, thatthe school You don’t have to worry about the gyain"

I don’t feel better

He steps forward and kisseswarmth on my face He turns and leaves He chooses survival over me It’s no different than what I have done We are both just trying so hard to survive me

I turn and collapse on the bed I have schoolwork to do, but I curl in a ball and turn on the TV I turn on Amelie and wish I were Audrey Tautou