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She looked at him and then at me, not quite sure what had just transpired John went back to her and leaned dohispering harshly but out ofher She said solances at u from my kitchen I wasn’t completely sure what it was about and I still don’t know Finally John stomped away from her, toward the house He turned back to her one last tih forhat I mean I mean you literally never knew him When we showed up at your house that was Monster Dave and it was Monster Dave thereafter And I’ll tell you what, whatever you think, he’s a lot nicer now than he was before But you wouldn’t know"

He stor pissed, and brushed past otta move that body"

"It can wait You’ll still be dead to on her like a lawn orna?"

She made noand heading inside I went to the living room and sat in my leather recliner I stared into the cold, dead fireplace on the far wall It was one of those gas fireplaces that would burn real logs so that it looked authentic, asource dressed up to look like an old-fashioned one It was an idea I had always found ridiculous, wondering if in the future they wouldn’t have soas fireplace, with fake gas lines running from it

I heard the kitchen door click open and I knew Amy had decided to come in That shouldn’t have surprised ht for a lanced at the notepad next to es ("GET MILK" it said in my hurried scrawl); I wondered if I drew up a quick Last Will and Testa John is a notary I could write it up in a few sentences, leaving the house to An it and then shoot myself in the temple But then I felt my pockets and once o I ditched the plan for the ti

John popped out of the bathroom, fully clothed now, and turned to intercept Amy in the kitchen They talked soh tones before both of the room Amy sat stiffly on the couch, her arms wrapped around her midsection as I had seen her do so often before It suddenly occurred to me that when she sat that way the stuht upper arm To a passerby, it wouldn’t i a hand so there would be no reason to do the double take that A her like that, they’d just think she was cold John took a spot on the floor between us, sitting cross-legged "Okay," he said, as if he were the moderator of this panel "How ive you?"

I shrugged and said, "Everything, I guess There’s thatbit from when I first showed up here--"

"When you came here and shot the real Dave?"

"Yeah It happened out in the yard, I guess There were tracks all over But otherwise it’s the same as before Or, you know As far as I know"

"But you don’t know anything of the real stuff? Like where you came fros at the time of your birth?"

"But you remember your--I mean Dave’s--childhood and all that School and your parents and friends?"

I waved a dismissive hand "Yeah, yeah You and I ot kicked out, and so on"

"And you know you got to be at work tomorrow? And you knohere?"

"Video store Wally’s Sucks Coworkers are retarded Yeah, yeah"

"And the five hundred dollars you borrowed from me last month"

"Fuck you"

John nodded in satisfaction "Okay, then I’ot work toet snowed in here Aht"

He raised a hand to silence onna stay here and watch you Noe don’t knohat exactly you sbefore, we know one weakness is fire Amy, if you see Dave turn into any kind of monster, set him on fire Dave, show Ahter and one of those huge cans of hairspray that old ladies use, if you have any Got it?"

John cli at him with an incredulous, squinted look, like he had broken some new bounds of huht possible John said to her, "Remember e talked about" And with that, he pulled open the front door and vanished into the white swirl of the stor Social Aardness Scale, with "1" being going to the "Pickup" instead of "Order" counter at a restaurant and "10" being a guy getting caught on national TV having sex with a dead baboon, I’d have to say that the following minutes alone with A, tenWe both ju out of ht

"Hello?"

"It’saround a corner at Lex and Main Have you turned into a monster yet?"

"No, John"