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"YOU’VE HEARD ME say that Goblin is my double, and let me emphasize it, because the duplication of me is always perfect, and so I’ve had all my life a mirror held up to me in Goblin in which I could see, if not know, myself

"As to Goblin’s personality? His wishes? His temper? All this holly different in that he could be a perfect devil when it humiliated h I did learn early on that if I ignored hiht fade and disappear

"There have beenbut inspect Goblin, the better to kno I myself looked, and when so of ly faces and stomp his noiseless foot For that reason I often wore my hair bushy And as the years passed Goblin took an interest in our clothes, and sometimes thren on the floor the pair of overalls he wanted me to wear, and the shirt as well

"But I’s, and not telling ed

"My first distinct randma Sweetheart and Jasmine and her sister, Lolly, and theirRah stools or chairs at the white-ena down at ht besidehiht to do and eat his cake

"He had his own little chair to the left of me and a place set for hirabbed ht-handed -- and he made me s because I’d never known hih not perhaps as he wanted it to -- and I didn’t want ht away the kitchen was in a flying co up fro to wipea mess¡¯

"Goblin was as solid as I was, both of us in navy blue sailor suits for the occasion, and I had soest because of the heavy rain that was falling outside

"I loved the kitchen on those rainy days, loved to stand at the back screen door and watch the rain coht electric light behindthe har from the stove

"But let me return to my third birthday party

"Now Goblin had ruined it and I was sobbing And he, the little idiot, after crossing his eyes and rocking his head froers and stretched his mouth on both sides wide as he could, which made me scream

"I knoould never have stretched my et a rise out of me

"Then he vanished, completely vanished, and I started to bellow his name

"My last distinct picture of that event is of all the woentle asthe rain off hi

"I was hollering, ’Goblin, Goblin,’ over and over again, and Goblin wouldn’t come back

"A terror erupted in me as it always did when he would vanish, and hoas resolved then I don’t know

"It’s diiant nu so proudly that I was three years old, and then Goblin being so strong and so full of spite

"Also Pops gave ht ether for a little while, and ever after we did that in the evenings right after supper before Pops headed up early to bed

"What coether alone in my room Happy, happy memories We played at blocks, with a s of a vague classical bent to be sent crashing down, and for the purpose of crashing and banging we had fine little fire trucks and auto with our hands or feet

"Goblin didn’t have the strength to do it on his own right away, but over time he acquired it, but before that he would take my left hand to do it, or to roll the fire truck into our marvelous structures, and then he’d smile, and break loose of me, and dance about

"My memory of these rooms is pretty clear Little Ida, Jas bed with me, as I was already too old for a crib, and Goblin slept with us, and this room here was the playroom and filled with toys of all kinds

"But I was easy with Goblin and he had no reason to be e, I began to see that Goblin didn’t want to share me with the world, and was happiest, by far, when he had

"Goblin didn’t even want me to play the harh he loved to dance to the radio or to songs that the wo with him at those times But when I played the harmonica, especially with Pops, I was in another world

"Of course, I learned the knack of playing the har at him (I could wink really early in life, with either eye) as he danced, and so he started to put up with it as the years passed

"Most of the time, Goblin had what he wanted We had our own table up here for crayons and drawing And I let hiht hand on my left hand, but all he’d create was scribble scratch, whereas I wanted to draw stick figures, or figures made of circles, and faces with little circles for eyes I taught hi people, as Little Ida called the round flowers that I liked to do

"It was at this little nursery table that he first demonstrated his eternally feeble voice No one could hear it but ht brightening for an instant in my head I talked out loud to him naturally, and sometimes in whispers which developed intoht

"So to Goblin, Pops or Sweetheart asked , and didn’t I kno to talk better than that, would I please say whole words as I kneell enough how to do

"I brought Goblin up to snuff on this, that we had to talk in whole words, but his voice was no estions, and out of sheer frustration he gave up on thisto me, and his voice only returned years later

"But to continue with his infant development -- he could nod or shake his head at s or did things that he liked He was dense when he first appeared to me each day and would beco, increased I had a sense of knohen he was near, even if he was invisible, and during the night I could feel his eht and distinct impression which I never tried, until this very moment, to describe to anyone else

"It’sfaces and cavorting he ier perhaps when he wasn’t visible, but if he didn’t appear to an to cry for him and become severely distressed

"So the oak tree outside, down by the ce onto me, and I would all the time talk to hiht day, when I was in the kitchen, Sweetheart taught ood’ and ’bad’ and ’happy’ and ’sad,’ and I taught Goblin, with his hand on mine, to write these words as well Of course nobody understood that Goblin was doing the writing sohed, except for Pops, who never liked Goblin and was alorried ’where all this talk of Goblin would lead¡¯

"No doubt Patsy had always been around, but I don’t remember her distinctly until I was four or five And even then I don’t think I knew she was my mother She certainly never came up here to my room, and when I did see her in the kitchen I was already afraid that a screa to break out

"I loved Pops, and with reason, because he loved ray hair all the ti, and most of the time with his hands He was educated and he spoke very well, as did Sweetheart, but he wanted to be a country man And just the way the kitchen had sed up Sweetheart, who had once been a debutante in New Orleans, so the farm sed Pops

"Pops kept the books for the Blackwood Manor Bed-and-Breakfast on a coh he did put on a white shirt and suit to conduct the tours of the place now and then, he didn’t like that part of things He preferred to be riding the lawns on his beloved tractor laer or doing any other kind of work outdoors

"He was happiest when he had a ’project’ and could work side by side with the Shed Men -- Jasreat-uncles, brothers and so forth -- until the sun went down, and I never saw him in any vehicle except a pickup truck until Sweetheart died, at which time he rode into town in a limousine like all the rest of us did

"But I don’t think, and it’s hurtful to say it, that Pops loved his daughter, Patsy I think he loved her as little as Patsy loves me

"Patsy was a late child, I know that now, though I didn’t then And when I look back on it as I tell you this story, I realize there was no natural place for her Had she gone debutante like Sweetheart, well, one country and wild at the same time, and this mixture Pops, for all his country ways, couldn’t abide

"Pops disapproved of everything about Patsy, from the way she teased her hair and curled it down her back and over her shoulders to the tiny short skirts that she wore He hated her white cowboy boots and told her so, and said her singing was a bunch of foolishness, she’d never ’e doors when she practiced so her ’racket’ wouldn’t disturb the bed-and-breakfast guests He couldn’t endure her flashy ed leather jackets, and he told her she looked like co she’d earn the et the hell out of here, and she broke a cookie jar once in a fight with hie, I ot to slaer, I knew thatbecause the Shed Men said it, and so did Jas Ramona said it And I liked the music myself, to tell the truth But there was an endless procession of young uitar and drums for Patsy -- and I knew Pops hated thee stealthily, not wanting Pops to seeaith the band

"So to Patsy’s ht up in dancing, and when he was dancing he rocked froestures with his arms, and did tricks with his feet that would have made a flesh-and-blood boy stu but never falling, and I would nearly die fro this dancing too, and being his partner, and trying to imitate his steps And when Patsy caarette, and saw me, she’d swoop down and kiss me and call me ’darlin’ ’ and say I was a ’da that last phrase, as if it were an admission over opposition, but no one would have opposed her in saying it, except her own self

"I think I thought she was hts with Pops told me a different tale

"Money was the cause of Patsy’s screaive her any, and of course I kno that there was plenty of ht over every nickel; Pops wouldn’t invest in Patsy, I see it now, and so made me cry

"One time, when I was at my little table in the kitchen with Goblin, and one of these fights had broken out between Patsy and Pops, Goblin took uided my crayon to write the word ’bad’ I was happy when he did this, because it was right what he wrote, and then he sat real close to me and tried to put his arm around me, but his body was very stiff in those days I knew that he didn’t want me to cry He tried so hard to coing to my left side

"At other ti for money, Goblin would pull me away, and he didn’t have to try very hard He and I ran up to my room where we couldn’t hear them

"Sweetheart was far too submissive to oppose Pops at the time of the kitchen quarrels, but Sweetheart did slip hter I saw that, and Patsy would cover Sweetheart with kisses and say, ’Mamma, I don’t knohat I’d do if it weren’t for you’ Then she’d ride off into town on the back of somebody’s motorcycle, or in her own van, her much excoriated van which had ’Patsy Blackwood’ written in spray paint on both sides of it beneath the s, and ouldn’t see Patsy or hear any music from the studio for three days

"The first time I realized that Patsy was intiht when she and Pops got to screa at each other and he said, ’You don’t love Quinn,’ plain and simple, and ’You don’t love your own little boy There wouldn’t be any Goblin in this house, he wouldn’t need Goblin, if you’d be the mother you’re supposed to be¡¯

"At that moment, I kneas true, these words; she was my mother They had an echo for me somewhere, and I felt a potent curiosity about Patsy, and I wanted to ask Pops what he meant I also felt a hurt, a pain in ht that Patsy didn’t love me, whereas before I don’t think that I had cared

"At that , ’You’re an unnatural mother, that’s what you are, and a tra knife She ran at Pops with it and Pops took ahold of both her wrists in one hand The knife fell to the floor and Patsy told Pops that she hated him, that if she could she’d kill him, he’d better sleep with one eye open, and he was the one who didn’t love his own child

"Next thing I kneas outside with the electric light pouring out of the shed, and Patsy was sitting in a wooden porch rocker before her open garage studio and she was crying, and I went to her and kissed her on the cheek, and she turned to edto pull atPatsy, I didn’t want her to be so unhappy I told Goblin to kiss Patsy

" ’Stop talkin’ to that thing,’ Patsy cried She changed into a different person -- rather, an all too fa atI can’t stand to be around you when you talk to that thing And then they say I’ave allin her lap I liked being rocked by her She sarette And in e of sorts

"But there wasto Patsy I felt so like despair I’ve been told I couldn’t have felt such a thing at that age, but that’s not true I felt it I clung to Patsy, and I ignored Goblin even though he danced around and tugged on ht Patsy came up to watch television in here with Goblin and me and Little Ida, an unprecedented event, and we had a riot of laughter together, though e actually watched I don’t recall The impression made upon ht she was very pretty, I always had thought she was very pretty, but I loved Pops too and could never choose between the two

"Fros and kisses for each other, if not anything else Hugging and kissing have always been big on Blackwood Farm, and now Patsy was in the loop, as far as I was concerned

"By age six or so I had the run of the property and kneell enough not to play too near the swamp that borders us to the west and southwest

"If it hadn’t been for Goblin, my favorite place would have been the old cereat-great-great-grandinia Lee

"As I’ve described, the guests adored the place, and the tale of how Mad Manfred restored every toinia Lee The elaborate little cast-iron fence that surrounded the place had all been patched and was kept painted jet-black, and the small stone shell of a pointed-roof church ept clear of leaves every day It’s an echo chao in there and say ’Goblin!’ and hear it coles

"Now the roots of the four oak trees down there have buckled soular tombs as well as the little fence, but what can anyone do about an oak tree? No one kin to me would ever chop down any kind of tree, that’s for certain, and these trees all had their nainia Lee’s Oak was the one on the far side of the cemetery, between it and the swaht beside it, while on this side there was William’s Oak, and Ora Lee’s Oak, all fantastically thick with huge heavy arround

"I loved to play down there, until Goblin started his can

"I hosts in the cemetery, and I can see this very vividly now as I speak Goblin and I were rollicking down there, and a long way off I could hear the thu of Patsy’s latest band We had left the ce armlike branches of Ora Lee’s Oak that is closest to the house, though not really all that close to the house at all

"I turned ht for no apparent reason and I saw a s of people, to above the buckled and crowded cohtened at all In fact, I think I thought, ’Oh, so these are the ghosts that everybody talks about,’ and I was silently stunned looking at them, at the way that all of them seemed to be made of the same translucent substance, and the way that they floated as though created mostly of air

"Goblin saw them after I did, and for one moment he didn’t , and then he becaet down out of the tree and conals by now, so there was no question of it But I had no intention of leaving

"I stared at the cluster of people, wondering at their blank faces, their colorless matter, their simple clothes and the way that they all looked at me

"I slid down the branch of the oak and went towards the cast-iron fence The eyes of the ghostly gathering reaze at theed somewhat in their expression They becah of course I didn’t know those words then

"Gradually, they began to fade, and to er there I could hear the silence that followed theer sense of the raveyard itself and then the overpowering oaks I had a peculiar and distinct feeling about the oaks -- that they atching me and had seen ilant and had a personality of their own

"A real horror of the trees was conceived indarkness of the swaiant cypress trees were possessed of the sa all around them with a deep slow respiration which only the trees themselves could see or hear

"I became dizzy I was al, and then very slowly there caain, the very same collection, as pale and wretched as before Their eyes searchedGoblin’s frantic gestures, until suddenly I backed up, nearly stu for the house

"I went, as always, straight to the kitchen door, with Goblin skipping and racing beside me, and told Sweetheart all about it, which immediately put her in a state of alarm

"Sweetheart was already very stout by that time, and a permanent fixture in the kitchen, as I’ve described to you, and she took me up in her arhosts down there and I should stay away froether fro as I was, but I knehat I had seen, and no one could dislodge it frouests in the front part of the house, and I don’t re Ra in the kitchen with Sweetheart, was very curious about the ghosts and wanted n of the women’s dresses and that the hosts, I knew she did, and she launched into the farandfather Williah the drawers of the Louis XV desk

"But to return to the folks of the cemetery, the Lost Souls, as I’ve cohtened at all this and said it was tiarten, where I’d meet other children and have lots of fun

"And so one , Pops took me in the pickup to a private school in Ruby River City I was kicked out within two days Much tooin half words, and not being able to cooperate with other kids Besides, Goblin hated it Goblin made faces at the teacher Goblin took my left hand and broke my crayons

"Back it was to where I wanted to be -- either spying on Patsy and herwith Pops as he planted a row of beautiful pansies along the front of the house, or eating the cake icing mix that was left in the bowl in the kitchen, while Sweetheart and Big Ra ’Go Tell Aunt Rodie’ or ’I’ve Been Working on the Railroad’ or songs I’ve long forgotten, songs I’ve lost, raveyard several times after that, and I’ve seen theer and they stare and nothingmass from which no one spirit can detach itself I’m not even certain they have personality, as we know the word But the way that they folloith their eyes argues that they do

"I must have been asked to leave at least four schools when my Aunt Lorraine McQueen came home

"It was the first tih she had been home several times when I was a baby, and told rant lipstick kisses and proffering of the ave to e fancy white box

"Her room was the same as it is now, in location, and I have noit until I was taken in to see her on that long-ago day and she put uests who had passed through Blackwood Manor, Aunt Queen was the prettiest of the women I’d ever beheld Her spike-heel ankle-strap shoes struck lamorous is my word now, and I very much enjoyed her heavy perfume and the feel of her soft white hair

"I calculate she must have been near seventy around that tirand nephew, or Sweetheart, and both of them were in their fifties, I think

"Aunt Queen was dressed all in tailored white silk, which was her favorite style of dressing, and I remember I dripped some of the chocolate-covered cherry candy on her suit, and she said airily that I mustn’t worry, she had a thousand suits of white silk, and she laughed in the htful manner and told me I was as ’brilliant’ as she had once predicted I would be

"Her roo the canopy of the bed, and long gossah-waisted white ruffle curtains on her s, and she even had a white fox fur with real heads and tails, which she had tossed over a chair

"She told s to be done in white, and showed ernails, which were lacquered in white, and the cameo at the neck of her blouse, which hite on pale pink coral, and said that she had needed all things to be white for the last thirty years, or ever since John McQueen, her husband, had died

" ’I think I a tired of it,’ she declared in themanner ’I did so love your Uncle John McQueen I never loved a ain But I’m ready to be drenched in color Surely your Uncle John McQueen would approve What do you think, Tarquin? Should I buy suits of different colors?¡& life when she spoke these words No one had ever asked me such a serious adult question before In fact, she spoke to me entirely as if I were an adult I adored her from those moments forith a loyalty that has no liht was the happiest and the sweetest color, and I had to confess, of all things, that yellow seemed to me to be the happiest, and I took her hand and led her to the kitchen to see the yellow curtains there, which h and say that yellow made her think of butter

"But she did the rooht summery fabric, airy like the white she had used before, but the whole rooical in yellow, and frankly I never liked it as e

"Over the years, she has done the roos, draperies and chairs, and as for her clothes, she has done the sa But on that first day, she seee of pure whiteness, and I re in her beauty and what seemed the purity of her manner and her words

"As for the cameo, she toldup a cup for Zeus, the king of the gods, as in the for his beak to drink

"Now, Goblin had been sulking all this time by the doorway, hands in his overall pockets, until I turned to him and told him to come over and that I wanted to show him to Aunt Queen I believe that I did my very best to describe hie could ever see Goblin, except me, and I could swear that she looked at the space beside , that she did see him, at least for a moment, when she narrowed her eyes

"She looked sharply to ently, ’Does he uard, as her earlier question had done

"I think I sta to the effect that Goblin was always around except when he was hiding, as if it wasn’t a an to tug onme from the room I said ’Behave, Goblin!’ just as Sweetheart someti andfaces, disappeared

"I started to cry Aunt Queen was very distressed at this and asked the reason, and I told her that now Goblin would not co ti, and then he would co time and said that I mustn’t cry ’You knohat I think, Quinn?’ she asked ’I think if you remain quiet and pretend you don’t need him, Goblin will come back¡& her and Big Ra with Aunt Queen’s ca ca and sulking and co to him as I explained who she was and that everybody called her Miss Queen but ere to call her Aunt Queen, and when Big Ramona went to correct o on

" ’Now, Goblin, don’t run off again,’ Aunt Queen said, and once more I was certain she could see hi my word for the fact that he was there

"For the entirety of Aunt Queen’s visit she spoke to me as if I were an adult, and I also slept in her bed with her She sent into town for soe, and I wore these as led up to her spoon fashion as I did with Little Ida, and I slept so deeply not even Goblin could wake et up

"Little Ida was a tiny bit put out over this, as she and I had been bedfellows since I was a baby, but Aunt Queen soothed her so that she let it go I liked the white canopy over our heads better than the satin-lined baldachin in my own room up here

"Let me move to another recollection which must come from the sa stretch limousine I’d never been in a car like it, but I reht side and Aunt Queen on my left Goblin tried to stay solid, but he flashed transparent numerous tily was that we got out on a shady side street with a long brick sidewalk, and all over that sideere pink petals, and it was one of the hts I’ve ever seen I wish I knehere that street was I’ve asked Aunt Queen but she doesn’t recall

"I don’t knohether those pink petals had fallen fronolias I tend to think it was crape et that stretch of sidewalk and that lovely path of flower petals, as though someone had strewn them especially for people to walk on and be transported out of reality and into dreams

"Even nohen existence seems unendurable I think of that sidewalk, I re unhurried, and the beauty of the pink petals And I’ to do with my story, except perhaps to state that I had eyes to see such things, and a heart to be sensitive to theermane is that ent to the house of a very affected and artificial lady, er than Aunt Queen, who had a whole room full of toys, and the first dollhouse I’d ever seen Not knowing that boys weren’t supposed to like dollhouses, I was of course curious about it and wanted to play with itelse

"But the lady wanted to direct things, as I recall, and bombarded me with soft affected questions, in her phony baby voice, lared at her the whole while with a sullen and angry face I didn’t like her soft tone when she asked, ’Does Goblin do bad things?’ and ’Do you feel so that you would like to do but can’t?¡&ht her drift, and I wasn’t surprised afterwards when Aunt Queen made a phone call to Pops from the limousine and said, quite oblivious to Goblin and inary playrow Goblin He’s a brilliant child and he has no playmates So we have Goblin There’s no point to be worried at all¡¯

"It was very soon after my encounter with the beautiful flower-strewn sidewalk -- and the lady psychologist -- that Pops drove me to a new school I hated it passionately, as I had the others, talked to Goblin belligerently and without cease and was sent ho drive into New Orleans to take arten in Uptown, but with the same result Goblin made faces at the children and I hated therated on me, as she talked to me as if I were an idiot, and Pops was soon there in the pickup truck to take me back to exactly where I wanted to be

"At this point, I have a vivid yet frag incarcerated in so in a s in one of those vast playroo that people atching ns to me that they were Goblin hated the place The people who careat friends of mine, which of course they weren’t

" ’Where did you learn all the big words?’ was one prize question, and, ’You talk of being happy to be independent Do you knohat "independent" means?’ Of course I knew and I explained it: to be on one’s own, to be not in school, to be not in this place; and out of there I soon went, with a sense that I had gotten h sheer stubbornness and the refusal to be nice But I had been badly frightened by this experience And I know that I cried hysterically when I rushed into Sweetheart’s arms, and she sobbed and sobbed

"It ht of my return home -- I don’t know -- but very soon after, Aunt Queen assured me I’d never be left in a place like that ’hospital’ again And in the days that followed I learnt that it was Aunt Queen’s doing, because Patsy loudly criticized her for it in my presence and this confused me because I so badly needed to love Aunt Queen

"When Aunt Queen shook her head and confir with the hospital, I was very relieved Aunt Queen saw this and she kissed ht at ain, I could have sworn that she saw him, and I even saw Goblin puff himself up and sort of preen for her But she said only that if I loved Goblin, then she would love Goblin too I burst into tears of happiness, and Goblin was soon in a paroxysm of tears as well

"My nextreat list of nouns co the name of every iteht all these words -- bed, table, chair,and so forth -- to Goblin

" ’Goblin helps you to reravely to me ’I think Goblin is very clever himself Does Goblin knoe don’t know, do you think? I mean a word you haven’t learned so far?¡& moment I was about to say no, when Goblin put his hand on ed way the word ’Stop’ and the word ’Yield’ And the word ’School¡&hed, I was so proud of him But Goblin wasn’t finished He then wrote in short jerky movements the words ’Ruby River¡&asp ’Explain each of those words to h I could explain ’stop’ and ’yield’ as signson the highway, I couldn’t read ’school’ or ’Ruby River¡¯

" ’Ask Goblin what they mean,’ said Aunt Queen

"I did as she asked, and Goblin explained everything silently by putting the thoughts in my head Stop meant to stop the car, Yield o sloe were near the children, bah! ich! and Ruby River was the name of the water over which the car drove ent to school or shopping

"An unforgettable expression of seriousness came over Aunt Queen’s face ’Ask Goblin how he learned these things,’ she said to ed his head fro

" ’I don’t think he kno,’ I told her, ’but I think he learned the¡¯

"She seelad Her soleood deal of sense,’ she said ’And I’ll tell you what Why don’t you have Goblin teach you several neords every day? Maybe he can start noith some more for us¡¯

"I had to explain to her that Goblin was through for the day He never liked to do anything very long He ran out of steam

"Only now as I tell this do I realize that Goblin was talking coherently in my head When did that start? I don’t know

"But in the ht es of coht it was a good thing And the kitchen croatched in awe as this process unfolded

"In jerky letters, I spelled out ’Rice,’ ’Coca-Cola,’ ’Flour,’ ’Ice,’ ’Rain,’ ’Police,’ ’Sheriff,’ ’City Hall,’ ’Post Office,’ ’Ruby Town Theater,’ ’Grand Hardware,’ ’Grodin’s Phar these words as Goblin defined the came not only with the pronunciation of the words, which Goblin gave me, but with pictures I saw the City Hall I saw the Post Office I saw the Ruby Town Theater And I made an immediate and seminal link between the audible syllables of the word and its

"As I revisit this curious process, I realize what it rossly inferior to me and devilishly a troublemaker, had learned the phonetic code to written words and was ahead oftime The explanation? Just what he had said He watched and he listened, and given a so quite far

"This is what I mean when I say he is a fast learner, and I should add he’s an unpredictable and uncontrollable learner because that’s true

"But lettoldme all these words, they still didn’t believe in hi to the adults talk in Aunt Queen’s rooain I heard it, and finally the third time I interrupted and asked what it meant

"Aunt Queen explained that Goblin lived in o away I mustn’t worry about it now But later I wouldn’t want so much to have Goblin and the ’situation’ would take care of itself

"I knew this rong, but I loved Aunt Queen tooaway Her travels were calling her Friends of hers were gathered in Madrid at a palace for a special party, and I could only think of this with tears

"Aunt Queen soon took her leave, but not before hiring a young lady to ’ho up to Blackwood Manor every day

"This teacher wasn’t really a very effective person, and one

"The next and the next weren’t ood either

"Goblin hated these teachers as much as I did They wantedand to paste strips of paper froazines onto cardboard And for thewhich seems, I think in retrospect, to assume that a child’s mind is different from that of adults I couldn’t bear it I learned quickly how to horrify and frighten theone With the fury of an only child with a spirit of his own, I wanted theone

"No ain

"We had the run of the far out so on television, a sport I’ve always loved -- in fact, the only sport that I love to watch and still do watch -- andthe ghosts in the old cehost of William, Manfred’s son, I saw hi room, and he seemed as oblivious to me as Aunt Camille on the attic stairs

"Meanwhile Little Ida read lavishly illustrated children’s books toand looking, all of us crowded on the bed together against the headboard, and I learned to read a little with her, and Goblin could actually read a book to me if I had the patience to listen to him, to tune in to his silent voice inside my head On rainy days, as I’veHe could read a whole poe in the summer rain, he could stay perfectly solid for an hour

"Sometime in these early years I realized that I had a treasure in Goblin, that his knack for understanding and spelling words was superior to mine, and I liked it, and I also trusted his opinion of the teachers, of course Goblin was learning faster than I was And then the inevitable happened

"Ies than I could have ever written In the kitchen, where I sat at the big white-enameled table noith the adults, Goblin scrawled out in crayon on paper so in Pops’ truck We’d like to go to the cock fights again We like to see the roosters go at it We want to place bets¡¯

"Little Ida witnessed this and so did Jas, and Sweetheart just shook her head, and Pops was silent too Then Pops did a clever thing

" ’Now, Quinn,’ he said, ’you’re telling us Goblin wrote this, but all I see is your left hand ht, you copy those words for us Tell Goblin just to let you copy I want to see how your hand is different from his¡&, and the printing was much neater and squared off when I did it, the way Little Ida had taught me to print, and Pops drew back and was aain and guided it as he wrote in his characteristic spidery scrawl, ’Don’t be afraid of me I love Quinn¡¯

"I beca to all assembled that Goblin was the best teacher I had But nobody was as happy about this as I was, and then Goblin grabbedthe crayon, ’You don’t believe in me Quinn believes in me¡¯

"It seemed utterly plain to ht to know it, but no one was ready to say it in words

"However, Pops and I went to the cock fights the very next weekend, and as ere driving over to Ruby River City, Pops asked if Goblin ith us in the car I said Yes, Goblin was cleaving to th to dance around in the aisle at the cock fights, but not to worry, he was right there

"Then e got there, Pops asked, ’What’s Goblin up to?’ and I told hi color,’ by which I side of me all over the arena to collect the bets that Pops won Of course we had to pay off a few too that Pops lost

"Just in case you’ve never seen a cock fight, let me briefly describe what happens It’s an air-conditioned building out in the country, with a crude lobby and concession stand in it selling hao into an arena that is round except for two entrances, the one through which you cah which the roosters and the handlers co round dirt-floor cage co -- where the birds fight

"Twowith their roosters, set theo at it, by their very nature, and as soon as one is bested the birds are taken out to continue the fight to the death out back The handlers do everything they can to help their birds They’ll take theht out of their ive them a second wind, and I think they blow in their hind ends too

"Pops never went out back It was dirty and dusty back there, which is why hts, no matter hoell dressed, appear to be covered in dirt Pops just liked the indoor portion of the battle, and he often stood up and hollered out his bets, and I did the running with the hts, and lots of children, with a lot of children doing the collecting and the delivering, and it is a kind of A out

"I personally loved it, and so did Goblin, as I’ve explained We thought the cocks were gorgeous with their long colorful plue their opponents, rising up soain, it was a spectacle to behold

"Pops knew everybody there As I’ve said, he was a country man, and as I tell you this story I realize that he was deliberately country, throwing in his lot with the rural cootten his law degree from Loyola University in New Orleans, same as his father, Gravier He could have been a different type of person He chose to be who he was

"He’d bred fighting cocks before I was born, and he told rain and let to grow their long plu As for domestic poultry, he said they wereof the grass or the fresh air A fighting cock had a life

"Well, that was Pops He could coht, shower down, dress in his dark suit and go in and make sure that the Royal Doulton china had been properly set for dinner on the table, and call in Little Ida or Lolly to s more even and uniform all around He played tapes of harmonica music in his truck and hired classical quartets and trios for the front rooave me the best of both of theone so totally country I don’t understand But then e the name of the father, if she ever knew it, so ht

"Let’s fast-forward now to my tenth year when the best of the home teachers caer, who played the piano exquisitely and spoke several foreign languages, who ’adored’ Goblin and often talked to hi ame, but Goblin didn’t and he frolicked and did tricks for Lynelle, which I described to her in a whisper Everything that Lynelle taught ht to Goblin, or at least rew to love Lynelle soat the house

"Lynelle was tall and slender with long curly brown hair, which she pinned back casually from her face She wore a perfume named Shalih waists and flowing skirts, suggestive of the ti Arthur, she explained to me, and she adored the color sky blue She was thrilled thatrooeous dress of sky blue

Lynelle wore very high heels -- Aunt Queen no doubt approved heartily -- and had extremely full breasts and a tiny waist

"Lynelle was enchanted by Blackwood Manor She danced in circles in the big roo with ebullient interest and was uests

"She pronounced me to be a ’rare intellect’ at once I opened my arms to her -- and my world, as you can see, was very much influenced and punctuated by embraces and kisses, and Lynelle fell into this style with no inhibition at all

"Lynelle bewitched me I feared to lose her the way I’d deliberately lost all the other teachers, and experienced perhaps the greatest change of heart toward an aspect of my world that I’d ever known

"Lynelle talked so fast that Pops and Sweetheart privately grumbled that they couldn’t understand her And I re Lynelle three times what the other teachers had been paid, all because they had lish castle

"So what? Lynelle was unique Lynelle used Goblin’s talents, inviting hi cascades of lovely speech to both of us, her two ’elves¡& children, that she had been a French teacher, that she had returned to college to enius of sorts, as well as a sometime concert pianist -- all this made Pops and Sweetheart all the more suspicious But I knew Lynelle was a truly unique individual I couldn’t have been fooled

"Lynelle cas a week for four hours, and within a matter of a month, she conquered everybody on Blackwood Fary, her charm, her optimism and her effervescence, and she positively altered the course of htof sentences so I could grasp the scaffolding of grammar, and the only arithh enough French to understand ether, and she loadedher fluid and wondrous lectures to h whole centuries in terms of what had been accomplished in art and war

" ’It’s all art and war, Quinn,’ she said to ed on the floor up here together, ’and it’s a shocking fact but reat men were insane’ She was careful to address Goblin by naomaniac and Napoleon ’obsessive compulsive,’ while Henry VIII was a poet, a writer and a despotic fiend

"Irrepressibly resourceful, Lynelle ca in hole cartons of educational or documentary tapes for us to watch by VHS and also introduced into e of cable television nobody ought to be uneducated Even a boy her just fro TV

" ’People in trailer parks are getting these channels, Quinn, think of it -- think of it, waitresses watching the biography of Beethoven and telephone line home to watch documentaries of World War II¡¯