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THE JOURNEY from Kiev seemed a journey forwards in tied All of Venice, upon old-plated chahts roa up the fresh air of the Adriatic and perusing the splendid houses and governrown accusto church services drew me like honey draws flies I drank up theof the priests and above all the joyous sensual attitude of the worshipers, as if all this would be a healing balm to those parts of me that were skinned and raw from my return to the Monastery of the Caves

But in my heart of hearts I reserved a tenacious and heated flame of reverence for the Russian limpsed a feords of the sainted Brother Isaac, I walked in the living s-Brother Isaac, who had been a Fool for God, and a hermit, and a seer of spirits, the victim of the Devil and then his Conqueror in the naious soul, there was no doubt of it, and I had been given two greatto a war between these h I had no intention of giving up the luxuries and glories of Venice, the ever shining beauty of Fra Angelico’s lessons and the stunning and gilded acco Beauty for Christ, I secretly beatified the loser in ined, in my childish mind, to have taken the true path to the Lord

Marius knew of le, he knew of the hold which Kiev had upon me, and he knew of the crucial importance of all this to me He understood better than anyone I’ve ever known that each being ith his own angels and devils, each being succumbs to an essential set of values, a the a proper life

For us, life was the vampiric life But it was in every sense life, and sensuous life, and fleshly life I could not escape into it from the compulsions and obsessions I’d felt as a nified

Within the month after my return, I knew I had set the tone for my approach to the world aroundand music and architecture, yes, but I would do it with the fervor of a Russian saint I would turn all sensuous experiences to goodness and purity I would learn, I would increase understanding, I would increase in compassion for the mortals around me, and I would never cease to put a pressure upon ood

Good was above all kind; it was to be gentle It was to waste nothing It was to paint, to read, to study, to listen, even to pray, though to whom I prayed I wasn’t sure, and it was to take every opportunity to be generous to those mortals whom I did not kill

As for those I killed, they were to be dispatched mercifully, and I was to beco pain and confusion, indeed snaring my victims as much as I could by spells induced by my soft voice or the depths of my eyes offered for soulful looks, or by some other power I seemed to possess and seemed able to develop, a power to thrust my mind into that of the poor helpless mortal and to assist hies so that the death became the flicker of a flame in a rapture, and then silencethe blood, ondeeper, beneath the turbulent necessity of my own thirst, to taste this vital fluid of which I robbed my victim, and to feel most fully that which it carried with it to ultimate doom, the destiny of a mortal soul

My lessons with Marius were broken off for a while But at last he caain in earnest, that there were things that we must do

"I h You know I haven’t been idle in ry as my body You know it So leave ood, little Master," he said to me kindly, "but you s which you hts I put hiht, having spent the earlier evening in the Piazza San Marco at a great festival, listening to lers, I was startled to feel his switch cos

"Wake up, child," he said

I turned over and looked up I was startled He stood, holding the long switch, with his ar belted tunic of purple velvet and his hair was tied back at the base of his neck

I turned away froo away The switch caain and this time there followed a volley of blows

I felt the blows in a way I’d never felt theer, more resistant to theh uard and caused a tiny exquisite explosion of pain

I was furious I tried to cliry was I to be treated in this manner But he placed his knee on my back and whipped me over and over with the switch, until I cried out