Page 61 (1/2)

14

When I opened my eyes I had an idea It came full blown to me, and it immediately obsessed me so that I was scarcely conscious of the thirst I felt, of the sting in my veins

"Vanity," I whispered But it had an alluring beauty to it, the idea

No, forget about it Marius said to stay away froht and then you can present the idea to him And he canwhat? Sadly shake his head

I caht before, candles burning, s open to the soft spectacle of the dying light It didn’t seem possible that I would leave here soon And that I would never come back to it, that he himself would vacate this extraordinary place

I felt sorrowful and miserable, And then there was the idea

Not to do it in his presence, but silently and secretly so that I did not feel foolish, to go all alone

No Don’t do it After all, it won’t do any good Nothing will happen when you do it

But if that’s the case, why not do it? Why not do it now?

I alleries and the room full of birds and monkeys, and on into other chambers where I had not been

But that idea stayed inme just a little more impulsive, a little s Marius had told ht mean as time went on

He wasn’t in the house That was certain I had been finally through all the rooms Where he slept was his secret, and I knew there ays to get in and out of the house that were his secret as well

But the door to the stairway down to Those Who Must Be Kept, that I discovered again easily enough And it wasn’t locked

I stood in the wallpapered salon with its polished furniture looking at the clock Only seven in the evening, five hours till he ca in me And the ideaThe idea

I didn’t really decide to do it I just turnedback to my room I knew that hundreds of others before me must have had such ideas And hoell he had described the pride he felt when he thought he could rouse theht make the happens, which is exactly hoill go I just want to go down there alone and do it It has so to do with Nicki maybe I don’t know I don’t know!

I went intofrom the sea, I unlocked the violin case and I looked at the Stradivarius violin

Of course I didn’t kno to play it, but we are powerful mimics As Marius said, we have superior concentration and superior skills And I had seen Nicki do it so often

I tightened the bo and rubbed the horsehair with the little piece of resin, as I had seen hio, I couldn’t have thought of the idea of touching this thing Hearing it would have been pure pain

Now I took it out of its case and I carried it through the house, the way I’d carried it to Nicki through the wings of the Theater of the Va of vanity, I rushed faster and faster towards the door to the secret stairs

It was as if they were drawing me to thedown the narrow damp stone steps faster and faster, past the s full of sea spray and early evening light

In fact, , so total that I stopped suddenly, wondering if it was originating with me But that was foolishness Who could have put it in my head? Those Who Must Be Kept? Now that was real vanity, and besides, did these creatures knohat this strange, delicate little wooden instrument was?

It made a sound, did it not, that no one had ever heard in the ancient world, a sound so huht the violin the work of the devil and accused its finest players of being possessed

I was slightly dizzy, confused

How had I gotten so far down the steps, and didn’t I remember that the door was bolted froht be able to open that bolt, but not just now

Yet I went on down, these thoughts breaking up and disintegrating as fast as they’d co it worse, though the thirst had nothing to do with it