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Everything’s a blur School, chatting withhappy faoes on as normal around me, and I take part, the way I always have But I’ about thebehindto bed tense every night, lying in the dark, wondering if this is when I’ll turn Stiffening whenever one of rowls Terror when my lips lift back over my teeth in a wolf-life snarl-then relief when I realise I’

I discuss some of it with Dervish but I’ The more I think about it, the more positive I am-he called in the Lambs I resent him for that There’s no real reason to It’s not like he’s washing his hands of me I’m sure he’ll be extra careful, that he won’t let the But why summon them so soon? He didn’t with Bill-E He kept them in the dark Dealt with it himself while there was still hope I was sure he’d act the same ith me

Of course, I’le anymore Dervish didn’t call the Laht for Bill-E’s humanity If he won, Lord Loss would have cured Bill-E If he lost, they’d have both been slaughtered by the demon master Either way, no need for the Laet-out clause in ic Dervish can deal with a olf, but perhaps not one with ical powers Maybe he’s scared, isn’t sure what I’ll be capable of when I turn, doesn’t feel he can handle ical if he does I can’t blame him for that

But even so, I feel betrayed and the feeling won’t go away I should talk with him, tell hiive him the chance to explain

But I don’t Afraid to bring the subject out into the open, like when I first becaic insideabout the trae, that I can still be saved Figuring if I don’t talk about it, o away Grubbs Grady-huo

Today, at lunch, e’re alone, Reni asks if anything is wrong I haven’t been paying her the kind of attention she expects She wants to know if I’ve lost interest, if I’htly, tries to make a joke of it, but I can see the suspicion and hurt in her eyes

I lie Say things are the same as always Make excuses Tell her there’s a lot of confusion inin with Dervish I evenI’

She buys it Thinks I’ to do with her Willing to wait forto put thethat they -her-throat-open-with-my-teeth type of moves-if I turn into a olf next weekend

Walking holi around school, on the streets of Carcery Vale, once in the trees across from my bedroomBut he’s kept at a safe distance No follow-up contact Slips away if I try to approach

I’m surprised he even spoke toguard in the forest, at the scene of a tragedy Perhaps theto I’m sure even the executioners of the Lambs are prone to hu about the tra how they kill the olves I iine it’s clinical and undramatic, probably a powerful poison, injected hu out shock-horror scenes-hordes of La , painful death

"Grubbs," Dervish calls as I’hts "Could you come see me when you’re ready?"

"Sure" Up tointo a corner Out of y sweater seconds later Jog back down inon one of the couches in the TV rooy and stern

I take a seat, wary I look at theed silence Then Dervish speaks quickly "I’ve told Juni about you About us The fa with you recently"

I blink slowly and glance at Juni Can’t tell what she’s thinking Wearing her ht long and hard about this," Dervish says, leaning forward "It would have been easy to ask Juni to go away next weekend and keep her out of the loop Easy and safe" He looks at her She smiles briefly and lays a hand on his "But we need her help I don’t knohy, but you’ve stopped talking to me This last week or two, you’ve been withdrawn, moody, sullen Maybe it’s just fear But I think there’s more to it You’ve cut ood I need to knohat you’re thinking and feeling I can’t help you if I don’t knohat’s going on inside your head"

"You think Juni can open et into my brain, worm out the truth"

"Maybe," Dervish mutters

"We only have your best interests at heart," Juni says "This is a troubled time for you Dervish wants to help I do too If you have problems with your uncle-or with me-you should lay the you don’t want to discuss with Dervish, perhaps you can tell me in private"

"Patient to counsellor?" I sneer

"If you like," she says calmly "I’d rather talk informally as a friend, but if you prefer we can do it professionally, with the guarantee of confidentiality"

"I don’t mind," Dervish says "I just want to help you survive the next week If I’ve upset you and you don’t want to tell me about it, fine But you don’t have to cut Juni out Surely you can talk with her if not with me"

"What if there’s no problem?" I oing to turn into a olf and don’t feel like talking about it?"

"That would be entirely understandable," Juni says "But unless you’re sure that’s the case, you should discuss it with sohly positive experience You know that, Grubbs You’re not an innocent child Going through this alone is a bad call"

"Especially as you h it," Dervish says I look at hi Juni thinks" He stops and looks at her

"Just because people in your family are victims of a disease which alters their bodies-I refuse to refer to them as olves, since that’s a hysterical tere," Juni says "From what you’ve described, it sounds as if you’re in trouble, but it’s by no ht be a mental probleining things?" I growl

"Perhaps," Juni says "The mind can play tricks on the most ordinary people-and you’re far froh what you have to see so e to lose your loved ones in a grisly fashion, then fight for your brother’s life what happened to us in Slawter Your resilience aest people I’ve ever o You’re incredible, Grubbs"

I s toher Another part wants me to wave her co, blushing and crying lightly

"But even the strongest of us has a breaking point," Juni says "Maybe Loch was yours Or perhaps there’s so else, a small upset you’re not even aware of It’s possible you’re turning-but it’s also possible you’re not I want to try and find out In a e’ll know for definite But we can cover a lot of ground in a week It could e"

"And if I’htly

Juni beah the h loudly Dervish does too

"My sense of hu off on her," Dervish chuckles proudly

"You say that like it’s a good thing"

"Boys, boys," Juni tuts "Let’s not get sidetracked Grubbs, will you acceptyou don’t want to say to both of us? Accept me as a counsellor if not a friend?"

I almost blurt it out and tell them I know about the Lambs, which is why I’ve been so surly But that wouldto his face that I feel he betrayed s he’s done for , it would hurt him to hear me speak that way

So I take Juni up on her offer, lowerwith you sounds good"

"Thank you," Juni says

"Nice one," Dervish adds

And we pretend for a while that everything’s fine and all our proble talks with Juni at school in the day and at hos Not just about Loch We cover all kinds of ground-my past, parents, Gret, Lord Loss, the institute, life with Dervish, Bill-E changing into a olf, Slawter All the things we didn’t discuss before, when she was only interested in helping me deal with Loch’s death

We spend a lot of tiut, what I’ve done with it, h me With Dervish’s perical core, to find out what’s going on inside, what I ic’s still there, it’s buried too deep for her to find

She also spends a lot of ti Dervish for infor out all she can about them She’s especially hot on Lord Loss-if he’s able to cure our lycanthropic curse, she doesn’t see e shouldn’t be able to do it too

"We’re not powerful enough," Dervish tells her

"Maybe it’s just a ests