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It’s strange, trying to settle back into everyday life, not telling anyone about Slawter, acting like noredy Bill-E and I lie to our friends, , describe the fire and hoere lucky to escape Not a word about dehts, despite the objections of Ma and Pa Spleen Night Talking with each other and Dervish, trying to cope Ironically-considering how this all started-Dervish sleeps like a baby The confrontation with evil was a tonic for him It blew the cobwebs from his head, helped hi, the cover-up, getting in touch with the other Disciples, discussing ways to keep the truth secret All of that was nectar to ines He was in his ele he enjoyed it, but he needed it That’s his real work
I wish it was so easy for epositive out of what happened in Slawter I’usted, tired and afraid I’m sure it will be years before I can sleep properly If ever
But the show o on The charade has to be o back to school We force ourselves to focus on homework, friends, sports, TV, music, day-to-day life We pretend that’s all there is to the world, that there’s nothingsoh at you
And sometimes-just soet about Lord Loss, Davida Haym, Bo Kooniart, Emmet, the demons, the dead And life is the way it should be, like it is for most people But the sensation never lasts It can’t Because I know the truth I’ve seen behind the curtain of reality I know thatunderneath a billion beds across the world And I know that soine they come out
"Time for that talk"
We’ve been home for nearly three weeks I’ screen, not really concentrating When Dervish sits besideabout Then, as he switches off the TV, I reot out alive, we’d have to have a chat aboutin Slawter," Dervish says "Magic was puh you and you had complete control over it"
"I just tapped into the power in the air," I shrug uneasily "No biggie"
Dervish s, but let’s not bull ourselves-you were on fire You did things I can’t even co Lord Loss, I noticed soh the hole in the barrier You kept them back How?"
"I established a second barrier around the hole Deh it but humans could"
Dervish chuckles "Do you realise how difficult that is? I couldn’t do it Even when I was in Lord Loss’ realm, atlike that I don’t know many who could"
"It wasn’t like I planned it," I say, for soier theon around ic told me what to do I wasn’t in control I couldn’t do any of it again I don’t even remember most of what I did"
Dervish studies me closely, his expression serious I sense his reluctance to continue-and with a jolt, I guess the reason why and instantly understand why I’ve been so nervous
"The Disciples are few in number," Dervish says quietly "We’re always on the lookout for new recruits, but ical potential It lies dormant unless they have an encounter with the Deuarantee that it will develop, that we’ll be able to make use of them"
"No," I say softly
Dervish frowns "I haven’t asked you anything"
"I knohat’s co And the answer’s no Please don’t askhard not to cry "I hate it, Dervish-the demons, the battles, thelike hiain I don’t want to becothy silence Finally Dervish sighs "I’d spare you if I could But there are so few of us and we’re so limited From what I saw in Slawter, you could be one of the ht even" He clears his throat "You ician Like Bartholomew Garadex"
"No way!" I cry "You told icians are born that way, that their powers are obvious from birth"
"I know But the way you handled yourself Maybe I rong Maybe there are late-developing ician," he says quickly as I start to protest, "you are part of the world of ic No normal person could have done what you did You have a very powerful, important talent and it would be a crime to deny it I know you don’t want to involve yourself with the Disciples, but you have to Some of us believe that the universe creates chaift of ic in order to protect this world from the Demonata If you’ve been chosen by the universe" He s like that, can you?"
"Just watch me," I snap
Dervish’s expression darkens "You’re acting like a child"
"Well, duh! Haven’t you noticed? I ae, but don’t let size fool you Try h to vote"
"I can’t wait that long," Dervish says "Magic must be nurtured Every day we hesitate is a day wasted When you face your next deht-"
"There won’t be a next!" I shout "Weren’t you listening? I don’t want to join your band of do-gooding Disciples! I said NO!"
"Unacceptable," Dervish replies flatly "You have a responsibility I know it’s hard-I’ve gone through it myself-but you have to be who you are"
"You don’t know anything!" I hiss "You didn’t lose your faht Lord Loss when you were e You haven’t felt the terror of of" I’ hard, hands clenched, tears in my eyes
"You can’t let fear rule your life," Dervish says "Everyone’s afraid when they face a demon We learn toaway at us Fear doubt wishes that eren’t ical, that we didn’t have this cross to bear I can help you overcome that fear I can show you the way"
I stare at hi He really doesn’t understand I’m not just afraid-I’m horrified In Slawter I did what I had to It was an unreal situation and I had no choice but to let the ht my way out But I hated the whole experience and I’ve no desire to repeat it I’h with the universe of demons I’ve done more than my fair share Got the better of theh
I start to tell Dervish this, to try to make him see it froh, then a sullen, "Anyway, it’s irrelevant I’"