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The mind falls, the will drives on

- Kerro Panille, The Collected Poems

PANILLE EMERGED from Ferry’s office dazed and fearfully excited

Groundside!

He knehat Hali thought of old Ferrbu else in the old man Ferry had seemed sly and vindictive, consu his roundside!

He had no ti - his orders required him to be at Shipbay Fifty in littlewas controlled now by the tiht be the last quarter of dayside here, but down at Colony it would soon be dawn, and the shuttles fros in the early hours there - less hylighter activity then

Hylighter daw groundsid

The very words conveyed a sense of the exotic to hies and halls

The full ian to fill him He could see and touch ’lectrokelp He could test for hience performed

Abruptly, Panille wanted to share his excitement with someone He looked around at the sterile reaches of Medical’s corridorfewabout their business None of the faces were friendly acquaintances

Hali’s face was nowhere a he saas just the bustle and s

Panille headed toward the hts bothered him It was a painful contrast with Ferry’s office - the clutter, the dank smells Ferry kept his office too di the clutter even from himself

It occurred to Panille then that Ferry’s mind probably was like that office - dim and confused

A poor, confused old man

At the first main corridor, Panille turned left toward his quarters No tie There would be ti later - at the next shipside period of rest and recuperation He would have much more to share then, too

At his cubby, Panille shoved things into a shipcloth bag He was not sure what to take No telling when he es, certainly; a few keepsake clothe notepads and a spare stylus And the silver net, of course He stopped and held the net up to exah to cover his head

Panille smiled as he rolled the net and confined it in its own ties Ship seldonaled a defect in the question But the day of this net had beenresponses from Ship

Insatiable curiosity - that was the hallmark of the poet and Ship certainly knew this He had been at the Instruction Terminal, his request "Tell me about Pandora"

Silence

Ship wanted a specific question

"What is the erous creature on Pandora?"

Ship showed him a composite picture of a human

Panille was irritated "Why won’t You satisfy my curiosity?"

"You were chosen for this special training because of your curiosity"

"Not because I’m a poet?"

"When did you beco at his own reflection in the glistening surface of the display screen where Ship revealed its symbolic patterns

"Words are your tools but they are not enough," Ship said "That is why there are poets"

Panille had continued to stare at his reflection in the screen, caught by the thought that it was a reflection but it also was displayed where Ship’s symbols danced Asy: the only Ship hair As usual, the hair was plaited back and bound in a golden ring at the nape of his neck He was the picture of a poet from the history holos

"Ship, do You write my poetry?"

"You ask the question of the Zen placebo: ’How do I know I am me?’ A nonsense question as you, a poet, should know"

"I have to be sure ht try to direct your poetry?"

"I have to be certain"

"Very well Here is a shield which will isolate you frohts are your own"

"How can I be sure of that?"

"Try it"

The silvery net had coers tre, Panille opened the round carrier, exa his long black hair up into it Immediately, he sensed a special silence in his head It was frightening at first and then exciting

I’m alone! Really alone!

The words which had flowed froy, a compulsive rhythe ways One of the physicists refused to read or listen to his poetry

"You twist my mind!" the old man shouted

Panille chuckled at the

Zen placebo?

Panille shook his head; no ti was full he decided that solved his packing proble and forced himself not to look back when he left His cubby was the pasplace of furious writing periods and restless inner probings He had spent ht there and, for one period, had taken to wandering the corridors looking for a cool breeze from a ventilator Ship had felt overly warm and uncommunicative then

But it was really me; I was the uncommunicative one

At Shipbay Fifty, he was told to wait in an alcove with no chair or bench It was a tiny metal-walled space too small for him even to stretch out on the floor There were two hatches: the one through which he had entered and another directly opposite Sensor lenses glittered at hi watched

Why? Could I have angered The Boss?

Waiting ht out here if they were going to make me wait?

It was like that faraway time when his mother had taken him to the Shipmen He had been five years old, a child of Earth She had taken him by the hand up the ramp to Ship Reception He had not even knohat Ship meant then, but he had been sensitized to as about to happen to hireat solereen spring day full of musty earth smells which had not vanished from his memory in all the Shipdays since Over one shoulder, he had carried a ss his mother had packed for hi into which he had craroundside trip Muchof that long-gone day had been limited to four kilos - the postedhis mother hadcap And there were four priraphs - one of the father he had never seen in the flesh, a father killed in a fishing accident He was revealed as a red-haired man with dark skin and a smile which survived hi and orn, but still with beautiful eyes; one showed his father’s parents, two intense faces which stared directly into the recording lens; and one slightly larger picture showed "the family place" which was, Kerro re ago when its sun went nova

Only the photo survived, wrapped with the others in the a He had found all of this preserved in a hyb locker when the Shipmen had revived him

"I wanthim over to the Shipmen "You have refused to take the two of us as a fa the threat in her voice She would do so violent things in those days The Shipmen had appearedKerro and sent him into hyb

"Kerro wasthe r’s "That’s the way you say it He was Portuguese and Saly and ran aith another man but my father was always beautiful A shark ate him"

Panille knew that his own father had been a fisherman His father had been named Arlo and his father’s people had escaped from Gaul to the Chin Islands of the south, far across a sea which insulated theo was that? he wondered

He knew that hybernation stopped ti else went on and on and o Eternity That was the poet’s candle The people ere keeping hi now did not realize how a poet could adjust the candle’s fla tested, but these Shipmen hidden behind their sensors did not know the tests he had already surmounted with Ship

Panille idled away the wait by recalling such a test At the time he had not known it was a test; that awareness came later He had been sixteen and proud of his ability to create emotions ords In the secret room behind Records, Panille had activated the com-console for a study session - to explore his own curiosity