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Chapter Twenty-Three

So here I aain

After the security feller corralled us at Giani’s, two carloads of cops come screamin up an this one cop coot here?"

"This one says she’s Raquel Welch," the salesman say "Come in here wearin a bunch of banana leaves an wouldn’t pay for the dress I don’t know bout these other two - but they look pretty suspicious to me"

"I am Raquel Welch!" she shout

"Sure, lady," the cop say "An I a with these two nice fellers here" He point to a couple of other cops

"Now," says the head cop, an he be lookin at me an Sue, "what’s your story?"

"We was in a pitcher," I says

"That why you’re wearin that creature suit?" he axe

"Yup," I says

"An what bout him?" he say, pointin to Sue "That’s a pretty realistic costume, if I say so myself"

"Ain’t no costu"

"Is that so?" the cop say "Well I’ll tell you what We got a feller down to the station who et a couple of shots of you clowns So you jus co too - an don’t make no sudden ot to coain An Mister Felder showed up with a whole platoon of lawyers to git out Raquel Welch, who by this time is hysterical

"You jus wait!" she shriek back at it finished, you won’t be able to find a job as a spear carrier in a nightmare!"

In this, she is probly correct It look like my movie career is over

"That’s life, baby - but I’ll call you for lunch sometime," Mister Felder says to me as he is leavin "We’ll send somebody by later to pick up the creature suit"

"C’ot other fish to fry"

Back at the hotel, Mister Tribble an me an Sue is settin in our roo to pose a problem, with Sue here," Mister Tribble says "I mean, look hoe had to sneak him up the stairs and everthin It is very difficult to travel with an orangutan, we have to face that"

I tole him how I felt bout Sue, bout how he saved le an all

"Well, I think I understand your feelings," he says "And I’ to have to behave himself, or we’ll be in trouble for sure"

"He will," I say, an ole Sue be noddin an grinnin like a ape

Anyhow, nex day is the big chess match between me an the International Grand Master Ivan Petrokivitch, also known as Honest Ivan Mister Tribble have taken me to a clothes store an rentedfashionable deal, an a lot of et ten thousan dollars, an et me started in the srimp bidness, so I cannot afford to et to the hall where the chess game is to take place an there is bout a thousan people larin at me like he’s Muha ole Russian feller with a high forehead, jus like the Frankenstein ht see on a violin player When I go up an set down, he grunt soin," an that was it

Honest Ivan is got the white teaet to make the first

I oin pretty smooth Each of us make a couple of more moves, then Honest Ivan try soht aroun to see if he can take my rook