Page 12 (1/2)

Chapter Twelve

This place is a serious loony bin They put me in a room with a feller called Fred that has been here for alht off what kind of nuts I got to contend with They is one guy that poisoned six people, somebody else that used a meat cleaver on his mama They is people who have done all sorts of shit - fro of Spain or Napoleon Finally I axed Fred why he is in here an he say because he is a axe murderer, but they is lettin him out in another week or so

The secont day I am there, I is tole to report to the office of my psychiatrist, Doctor Walton Doctor Walton, it turn out, is a woive onna have a physical examination She set me down at a table an start showin ht they were I kep sayin "ink blot" till she finally get ot to say sos up Then I a test an tole to take it When I am done, she say, "Take off your clothes"

Well, with one or two exceptions, ever time I take off my clothes, somethin bad happen to me, so I says I would rather not, an she make a note of this an then tell et the attendants to hep o on an do it, an when I is butt neckid, she come into the room an look at me, up an down, an say, "My, my - you is a fine speciin me on the knee with a little rubber hammer like they done back at the University, an polkin me in all sorts of places But she ain’t never said for rateful Afterward, she say I can get dressed an go back to lass door an inside it they is a bunch of little guys, settin an lyin aroun, droolin an spasmoin an beatin on the floor with they fists I jus stood there for a wile, lookin in, an I’m feelin real sorry for them - kinda remind me of my days back at the nut school

A couple of days later, I aet there, she is with two other guys dressed up as doctors, an she say they is Doctor Duke and Doctor Earl - both with the National Institute of Mental Health An they is very interested in my case, she say

Doctor Duke an Doctor Earl set me down an start axin me questions - all kinds of questions - an both of thein me on the knees with the haot your test scores, an it is remarkable hoell you is done on the ive you some other tests" They produce the tests, an make me take them, an they is a lot er I done okay Had I knoas gonna happen nex, I would of fucked them up

"Forrest," Doctor Earl say, "this is phenoot a brain jus like a computer I do not knoell you can reason with it - which is probly why you is in here in the first place - but I have never seen anything quite like this before"

"You know, George," Doctor Duke say, "this man is truly remarkable I have done soht to send him down to Houston to the Aeronautics and Space Center an have them check him out They has been lookin for just this sort of feller"

All the doctors be starin at ed me on the knees with a haain

They flownole plane with nobody on it but me an Doctor Duke, but it is a pleasant sort of trip cept they got me chained to my seat han an foot

"Look here, Forrest," Doctor Duke say, "the deal is this Right now you is in a shitpot of trouble for thowin that o to jail for ten years for that But if you cooperates with these people at NASA, I will personally see to it that you is released - okay?"

I nod ain I am missin her somethin terrible

I am at the NASA place at Houston for about a month They has examined oin on the Johnny Carson show

I ain’t

One day they haulroom an tell me what they has in mind

"Guht to outer space As Doctor Duke has pointed out, your raht stuff, you will be extreraht for a minute, an then I says I had better axe ument - like spendin the next ten years of my life in the slaets ht up is to put me in a spaceship an shoot me up aroun the earth bout a million miles They has already shot people up to the moon, but they didn’t find nothin there worth a shit, so what they is plannin nex is a visit to Mars Fortunately for ot in mind at the moment - instead, this is to be a sort of trainin er out what kind of folks would be suited best for the Mars trip

Besides

The woman is a crabby-lookin lady called Major Janet Fritch, who is sposed to be America’s first woman astronaut, only nobody knows bout her cause all this be pretty top secret She is a sort of short lady with hair look like it been cut by puttin a bowl over her head, an she don’t seem to have much use for either me or the ape

The ape ain’t so bad, actually It is a big ole feles of Suot a whole bunch of them apes down here, an have been shootin the wile, but they says Sue will be best on this trip on account of she is a female an will be friendlier than a ht When I find this out, I aonna send us way up there with the only experienced crew member bein a ape Kind of ot to go thru all kinds of trainin before the flight They puttin us in cyclotrons an spinnin us aroun, an in little roo they be crammin my mind with shit they want er the distance betherever we is, an wherever they want us to go, an how to get back again; all kinds of crap like coaxiel coordinates, co sine coarithms, Fourier analysis, quadrats an matrix math They say I is to be the "backup" for the backup computer

I have writ a bunch of letters to Jenny Curran but all of them done come back "Addressee not Known" Also I done wrote to ist of which is "How can you do this to your po ole ot lef in the world?"