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Chapter Eight

We be flyin high over the pacific ocean, an colonel Gooch is tellin et back to the United States He say people will turn out for parades an shit an I will not be able to buy mysef a drink or a meal on account of everbody else will be wantin to do it for o on a tour to drum up new enlistiven the "royal treatment" In this, he is correct

When we land at the airport at San Francisco, a big crowd is waiting for us to get off the plane They is carryin signs an banners and all Colonel Gooch look out the winder of the plane an say he is suprised not to see a brass band there to greet us As it turn out, the people in the crowd is quite enough

First thing that happen e come off the plane is the people in the crowd co tomato that hit Colonel Gooch in the face After that, all hell break loose They is some cops there, but the crowd busted thru an come runnin towards us shoutin an hollerin all kinds of nasty things, an they is about two thousan of the I have seen since as back at the rice paddy where Bubba was kilt

Colonel Gooch is tryin to clean the toer, the hell with that, cause we is outnuot no weapons to boot So I took off runnin

That croas sure as hell lookin for somethin to chase too, cause ever one of them start chasin me jus like they used to do when I was little, hollerin and shoutin and wavin they signs I run daain an into the terminal, an it was even scarier than when thee Bowl Finally, I done run into the toilet an hid up on the seat with the door shut until I figger they have give up an gone on home I must of been there an hour or so

When I come out I walked down to the lobby an there is Colonel Gooch surrounded by a platoon of MP’s an cops, an he is lookin very distressed till he seen me "C’et to Washington"

When we get on the plane to Washington they is a bunch of civilians on it too, an Colonel Gooch an me set in a seat up front We has not even took off yet, before all the people aroun us get up an go set somewhere else in the back of the plane I axed Colonel Gooch why that was, an he say it probly cause we smell funny or sos be better in Washington I hope so, cause even a er out that so far, it is not like the colonel say it would be

When the plane get to Washington I aton Monument an the Capitol an all fros, but there they are, real as rain The Army have sent a car to pick us up an we is taken to a real nice hotel, with elevators an stuff an people to lug your shit aroun for you I have never been in a elevator before

After we get squared away in our roooin out for a drink to this little bar he reirls, an he say it is a lot different here than in California on account of people in the East are civilized an shit He is wrong again

We set down at a table an Colonel Gooch order ot to act at the ceremony tomorrohen the President pin the h his talk, a pretty girl coit us two uess he think she is the waitress But she look down an say, "I wouldn get you a glass of warm spit, you filthy cocksucker" Then she turn toape?"

Well, we gone on back to the hotel after that, an ordered soet to finish tellin ht an early an walk on over to the White House where the President live It is a real pretty house with a big lawn an all that look al as city hall back in Mobile A lot of Army people be there pumpin my han an tellin et the uy who talk like he is from Texas or somethin an they has assembled a whole bunch of people some of which look like maids an cleanin arden in the bright sunshine

An Aruy commence to readin some kind of bullshit an everbody be listenin up keen, cept for me, on account of I is starvin since we has not had our breakfast yet Finally the Aruy is thru an then the President come up to me an take the medal out of a box an pin it on my chest Then he shake my han an all these people start takin pichers an clappin an such as that

I figger it is over then, an we can get the hell out of there, but the President, he still standin there, lookin at me kind of funny Finally he say, "Boy, is that your stolance over at Colonel Gooch but he jus roll his eyes up, an so I nod, an say, "Uh, huh," an the President say, "Well, c’it us soo into a little roun roouy who is dressed up like a waiter to bring me some breakfast It jus the two of us in there, an e is waitin for the breakfast he start axin ooks an all, an is they treatin us right in the Army I jus nod my head an after a wile he stop axin me questions an they is this kind of silence an then he say, "Do you want to watch some television e is waitin for your food?"

I nod ain, an the President turn on a tv set behin his desk an atch "The Beverly Hillbillies" The President is most amused an say he watches it ever day an that I sort of remin him of Jethro After breakfast, the President axe me if I want hio When we get outside, all therapher fellers are followin us aroun an then the President decide to set down on a little bench an he say to me, "Boy, you ounded, wasn’t you?" an I nod, an then he say, "Well, look at this," an he pull up his shirt an showole scar on his stomach where he has had an operation of some kind, an he axe, "Where was you wounded?" an so I pull down rapher fellers rush up an start to take pichers, an several folks come runnin over an I am hustled away to where Colonel Gooch is waitin

That afternoon back at our hotel, Colonel Gooch suddenly come bustin into un hollerin an cussin atthe papers down onass an the President is showin his scar One of the papers has drawn a little black nize me, like they do with dirty pitchers

The caption say, "President Johnson and War Hero Relaxing in the Rose Garden"

"Gump, you idiot!" Colonel Gooch say "How could you do this to me? I am ruint My career is probly finished!"