Page 5 (1/2)

Chapter Five

After the Orange Bowl, the Atheletic Depart before Coach Bryant send for et there, he lookin bleak

"Forrest," he say, "I can understan how you flunked relish, but it will et an A in soht, an then an F in phys-ed class - when you is jus been nae Back in the Southeastern Conference!"

It was a long story that I did not want to bore Coach Bryant with, but why in hell do I need to know the distance between goalposts on a soccer field anyway? Well, Coach Bryant lookin at me with a terrible sad expression on his face "Forrest," he say, "I regret awfully havin to tell you this, but you is done flunked out of school, an there is nothin I can do"

I jus stood there, twistin my hands, till it suddenly coet to play no ot to leave the University Maybe I never see any of the other guys no ot to et to take Advanced Light nex term, like Professor Hooks have said I would I didn’t realize it, but tears begun comin to my eyes I ain’t sayin nothin I jus standin there, head hangin down

Then Coach, he stand up hissef, an come over to me an he put his arm aroun me

He say, "Forrest, it okay, son When you first come here, I expect somethin like this would happen But I tole eive me that boy for one season - that is all I ask Well, Forrest, we has had ourselfs one hell of a season That is for sure An it certainly weren’t your fault that Snake thowed the ball out of bounds on forth down"

I look up then, an they is little tears in Coach’s eyes, too, an he is lookin at me real hard

"Forrest," he say, "there has never been nobody like you ever played ball at this school, an there won’t be never again You was very fine"

Then Coach go over an stand lookin out the winder, an he say, "Good luck, boy - now git your big dumb ass outta here"

An so I had to leave the University

I gone back an pack up ht two beers an give one to me I ain’t never drank a beer, but I can see how a feller could acquire a taste for it

Bubba ith me outside the Ape Dorm, an lo an behole, who should be standin there but the entire football team

They is very quiet, an Snake, he come up an shake my han an say, "Forrest, I am very sorry about that pass, okay?" An I says, "Sure Snake, okay" An then they all come up, one by one, an shake my han, even ole Curtis, who is wearin a body brace from his neck down on accounta bashin down one door too many in the Ape Dorm

Bubba say he’d hep me carry o alone "Keep in touch," he say Anyhow, on the way to the bus station, I pass by the Student Union store, but it ain’t Friday night, an Jenny Curran’s band is not playin, so I say, the hell with it, an catch the bus on hoot to Mobile I had not tole my mama what had happened, cause I knew she’d be upset, so I walk on hoet inside, they she is, crying and bawling jus like I remember What had happen, she tell me, is that the United States Arrades, an that very day a notice done come for me to report to the US Army Induction Center If I had known then what I knoould never had done it

My mama take me down there a few days later She has packed ry on the way to wherever we is going They is about a hundrit guys standin aroun an four or five busses waiting A big ole sergeant be hollerin an yellin at everbody, an Maoes up to him an says, "I don’t see how you can take eant jus look back at her an say, "Well, lady, what do you think all these other people is? Einsteins?" an he gone on back to hollerin an yellin Pretty soon he yell at it on the bus an aent

Ever since I lef the nut school people been shoutin at oons, an now the people in the Arer an louder an nastier than anybody else They is never happy An furthermore, they do not complain that you is dumb or stupid like coaches do - they is more interested in your private parts or bowel movements, an so always precede they yellin with somethin like "dickhead" or "asshole" Sometimes I wonder if Curtis had been in the Army before he went to play football

Anyhow, after about a hundrit hours on the bus we get to Fort Benning, Georgia, an all I’ia Dogs The conditions in the barracks is actually a little better than they was in the Ape Dorm, but the food is not - it is terrible, altho there is a lot of it

Other than that, it was just doin what they tole us an gettin yelled at in the renades an crawl aroun on our bellies When adn’t doin that as either runnin so I re is that they didn’t seem to be nobody much smarter than I hich was certainly a relief

Not too long after I arrive, I get put on KP, on account of I have accidentally shot a hole in the water toe was down at the rifle range When I get to the kitchen, it seems the cook is took sick or soonna be the cook today"

"What I’onna cook?" I axed "I ain’t never cooked before"

"Who cares," somebody say "This ain’t the Sans Souci, y’know"

"Why don’t you make a stew?" somebody else say "It’s easier"

"What of?" I axed

"Look in the icebox an the pantry," the feller say "Just thow in everthin you see an boil it up"

"What if it don’t taste good?" I axed

"Who gives a shit You ever eat anythin around here that did?"

In this, he is correct

Well, I coet everthin I could from the iceboxes an the pantry They was cans of tos of flour an sacks of potatoes an I don’t knohat all else I gathered it all together an say to one of the guys, "What I’onna cook it in?"

"They is some pots in the closet," he say, but when I looked in the closet, they is jus sh to cook a stew for two hundrit men in the company

"Why don’t you axe the lieutenant?" somebody say

"He’s out in the field on maneuvers," come the reply

"I don’t know," say one feller, "but when thery, so you better think of somethin"

"What about this?" I axed They was an enorh an five feet aroun settin in the corner

"That? That’s the goddamn steam boiler You can’t cook nothin in there"

"How come," I say

"Well, I dunno I jus wouldn do it if I was you"

"It’s hot It’s got water in it," I says

"Do what you want," soot other shit to do"