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Gebo, she thought, one flash of coherence, of memory, just before her head slid under the water Gebo, the rune of sacrifice
Oh, To was painless-but sad It hurt to think of the people she was leaving behind
She kept picturing her parents, iot hoot hohts were very scattered, like dandelion fluff blowing erratically on the wind
Mr and Mrs Parker-Pearson-Summer’s parents -had been so hurt when they lost Summer Jenny hated to think of her parents hurt that way
And Too No point in keeping hione But that didn’t seeed to a race that didn’t have gentle emotions They weren’t capable of pity
Julian er on Toht but it didn’t see now-breaking up and floating away She was dead, and she couldn’t change anything
Strange, though, that a dead person could suddenly feel pain-physical pain A burning The frigid water had stopped hurting a long tio, and since then she’d had no sense of her own body Trapped in absolute darkness and utter silence, too numb to feel any sensation, she didn’t seehts
But now-this burning had started At first it seenore But it didn’t stop It got worse She felt heat: a tingling, prickling heat that dean to have a body again
Hands She could feel her hands now And feet, she had feet She had a face, defined by thousands of tiny red-hot needles And she are of a vague, fuzzy glow
Open your eyes, she told herself
She couldn’t They were too heavy, and everything hurt so o back into the darkness where there wasn’t any pain She willed the light to go away
"Jenny! Jenny!"
Her name, called in tones of love and desperation Poor Toht dimly Too to Tom
But it hurt
"Jenny Please, Jenny, come back-"
Oh, no No, don’t cry It’ll be all right
There was only one way to et how ht, do it, then Jenny concentrated on the fuzzy glow, trying toherself toward it The pain was terrible-her lungs hurt But if she had lungs, she could breathe Breathe, girl!
It hurt like hell, and darkness sucked at her, trying to drag her down again ’ "That’s it, Jenny Keep fighting Oh, Jenny "
With a treht dazzled her So her hands
I did it for you, Tom
But it wasn’t To her hands, calling out to her Golden light danced on his hair, his face It was a fire, Jenny realized slowly, and she was in another cavern, slightly bigger than the last She was dry, so in a sort of nest of white fur, very soft, very co her back to life
The pain wasn’t so bad now, although there was still an unyielding knot of ice in her middle And she felt weak-too weak and exhausted to think properly It was Julian, not Tom-but she couldn’t really take that in
It didn’t even look like Julianbecause Jenny had never seen Julian look afraid But now the blue eyes were dark with fear and as wide as a child’s-the pupils huge and dilated with emotion Julian’s face, which had always seeance and ht-and thinner soht over bones As for the dangerously beautiful smile that usually curved Julian’s lipsthere wasn’t a trace of it
Strangest of all, Julian see The hands that held Jenny’s had stopped their rubbing, but a fine, continuous treh the by the way his chest rose and fell
"I thought you were dead," he said in a muted voice
So did I Jenny tried to say it, but only got as far as a hitching breath
"Here Drink this, it should help" And the nextcup to her lips The liquid was hot and sweet, and it sent war it and chasing away the last of the pain Jenny felt herself relaxing, lying still to absorb the fire’s heat A feeling of well-being crept through her as Julian laid her back down
Gently Julian was being gentlebut Julian was never gentle He belonged to a race that didn’t have gentle emotions They didn’t feel tenderness, weren’t capable of pity
She probably shouldn’t even accept help from hih a terrible fright
"I thought I’d lost you," he said
"Then you didn’t send the water?"
He just looked at her
It didn’t seeht to say sos he’d done to her in the past He’d hunted her in every way iinable
But here, now, in this little cavern surrounded by rock, with no one present but the two of them, and no sound but the soft roar and crackle of the fireall that seemed very far away Part of a past life Julian didn’t seem like a Shadow Man, didn’t seem like a hunter After all, if he were a predator, he had his quarry right here, exhausted and helpless He’d never have a better chance If he wanted her, she wouldn’t even be able to put up a fight
Instead, he was looking at her with those queer dazed eyes, still black with emotion
"You would have cared if I died," she said slowly
The eyes searched hers a moment, then looked away
"You really don’t know, do you?" he said in an odd voice
Jenny said nothing She pulled herself up a little in the white nest, so she was sitting
"I’ve told you how I feel about you"
"Yes But " Julian had always said that he was in love with her-but Jenny had never sensed ht have said this, but for some reason it seemed-inappropriate-to say it to so for a blow "But I’ve never understood why"
"Haven’t you" It wasn’t even a question
"We’re so different" Madness to be talking about this But they were both looking at each other, now, quietly, as they had never sat and looked before Eyes unwavering-but without challenge It , Jenny thought She shouldn’t be doing it
But of course she had wondered, she had wondered fro what he could possibly see in her How he could want her-so h to watch over her since she was five years old, to pierce the veil between the worlds to coht about nothing else
"Why, Julian?" she said softly
"Would you like a list?" His face was completely blank, his voice clipped and emotionless
"A-what?"
"Hair like liquid a utterly dispassionate about it He could have been reading a page of honments "But it’s not the color, really, it’s the expression The way they go so deep and soft when you’re thinking"
Jenny opened her lows, especially when you’re excited A golden sheen all over you"
"But-"
"But there are lots of beautiful girls Of course You’re different There’s so inside you that makes you different, a certain kind of spirit You’re -innocent Sweet, even after everything that’s been thrown at you Gentle, but with a spirit like flahtened "Audrey sometiht and air-things people take for granted but that they’d die without People really should think htened now This new Julian was dangerous-made her feel weak and dizzy
"When I first saw you, you were like a flood of sunshine All the others wanted to kill you They thought I was crazy They laughed "
He ht
"But I knew, and I watched you You grew up and gotin my world The others just watched, but I wanted you Not to kill or to use up the way-the way they do with humans so in his voice now besides clinical dispassion It was-hunger, Jenny thought, but not the cold, er she’d seen in the ancient eyes and the whispering voices of the other Shadow Men It was as if Julian was hungry for so need even he didn’t understand
"I couldn’t see anything else, couldn’t hear anything else All I could think about was you I wouldn’t let anyone else hurt you, ever I knew I had to have you, no matter what happened They said I was crazy with love"
He had gotten up and walked away to the edge of the firelight As he stood there, Jenny see at him with new eyes And he looked-s in the universe washer body
She had never thought about what the other Shadow Men est of a very old race, but she’d never thought about his life at all, or his point of view She hadn’t thought about hi a point of view
"What’s it like, being-" She hesitated
"Being a Shadow Man? Watching fro on the worlds that aren’t full of shadows? Earth has colors, you know, that you never find here"
"But-you canyou want You can create it"