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Paul nodded, and she thought she could see hi overachiever
"Have you ever"-he paused delicately-"had any thoughts about suicide?"
"No Never I would never do anything like that"
"H silence and Hannah looked around the rooist’s office, even though it was just part of a house Out here in centralMontana , with miles between ranches, toere few and far between So were psychologists-which hy Hannah was here Paul Winfield was the only one available
There were diplomas on the walls; books and impersonal knickknacks were in the bookcase A carved wooden elephant A seraph There was even an official-looking couch And aht I don’t think so
Paper rustled as Paul pushed a note aside Then he said gently, "Do you feel that so to hurt you?"
Hannah shut her eyes
Of course she felt that so paranoid, wasn’t it? It proved she was crazy
"So followed," she said at last in almost a whisper
"By ?"
"I don’t know" Then she opened her eyes and said flatly, "Soet me And I have dreams about the apocalypse"
Paul blinked "The-apoc "
"The end of the world At least I guess that’s what it is Soiant horrible ultiht Between the forces of" She saas staring at her She looked away and went on resignedly "Good" She held out one hand "And evil" She held out the other Then both hands went liht?"
"No, no, no" He fumbled with the pencil, then patted his pocket "Do you happen to have a cigarette?"
She glanced at him in disbelief, and he flinched "No, of course you don’t What a? It’s a filthy habit I quit last week"
Hannah opened her mouth, closed it, then spoke slowly "Look, Doctor-I mean, Paul I’m here because I don’t want to be crazy I just want to be reat su with o toUtahState and study dinosaurs and maybe find a duckbill nest site of my own I want my life back But if you can’t help ulped She almost never cried; it was the ultimate loss of control But now she couldn’t help it She could feel warmth spill out of
her eyes and trace down her cheeks to tickle her chin Humiliated, she wiped away the teardrops as Paul peered around for a tissue She sniffed
"I’m sorry," he said He’d found a box of Kleenex, but now he left it to come and stand beside her His eyes weren’t analytical now; they were blue and boyish as he tentatively squeezed her hand "I’m sorry, Hannah It sounds awful But I’et to the bottoraduating withUtahState and riding the duckbills, just like always" He smiled to shoas a joke "All this will be behind you"
"You really think?"
He nodded Then he see a patient’s hand: not a very professional position He let go hastily "Maybe you’ve guessed; you’re sort of my first client Not that I’m not trained-I was in the top ten percent of my class So Now" He patted his pockets, came up with the pencil, and stuck it in his mouth He sat down "Let’s start with the first ti one of these dreams When-"
He broke off as chimes sounded somewhere inside the house The doorbell
He looked flustered "Who would be" He glanced at a clock in the bookcase and shook his head
"Sorry, this should only take a et back"
"Don’t answer it," Hannah said
She didn’t knohy she said it All she kneas that the sound of the doorbell had sent chills running through her and that right now her heart was pounding and her hands and feet were tingling
Paul looked briefly startled, then he gave her a gentle reassuring smile "I don’t think it’s the apocalypse at the door, Hannah We’ll talk about these feelings of apprehension when I get back" He touched her shoulder lightly as he left the rooht, of course There was nothing at allabout a doorbell It was her own craziness
She leaned back in the soft contoured chair and looked around the roo to relax
It’s all into help me
At that instant theacross the room exploded