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Dear Diary,
I can’t believe what a fool I am, what a faithless, worthless fool
I should never have kissed Damon, or let him kiss me
The look on Stefan’s face when he found us was heartbreaking His features were so stiff and pale, as if he waswith tears And then it seeht went out inside him, and he looked at me like he hated me
Like I was Katherine No matter what happened between us, Stefan never looked at me like that before
I won’t believe it Stefan could never hate me
Every beat ofcan tear us apart
I’ve been such a fool, and I’ve hurt Stefan, although that was the one thing I never wanted to do But this isn’t the end for us Once I apologize and explain what a ive ain, he’ll see how sorry I a so close to death, fro after us Neither Damon nor I really wanted the other one, that kiss was just us clinging hard to life
No I can’t lie Not here I have to be honest with myself, even if I pretend with everyone else I wanted to kiss Damon I wanted to touch Damon I always have
But I don’t have to I can stop myself, and I will I don’t want to cause Stefan any more pain
Stefan will understand that, will understand that I’ll do anything I can to ive me
This can’t be the end I won’t let it be
Elena closed her journal and dialed Stefan’s nu until it went to voice up She’d cal ed hiain this , she knew He always kept his phone on He always answered, too; he seeation to be available since he had the phone with hiher on purpose
Elena shook her head fiercely and dialed again Stefan was going to listen to her She wasn’t going to let hiave her, everything could go back to nor them both so unhappy - clearly, it hadn’t worked out the way she intended
Except, what exactly was she going to say? Elena sighed and flopped down backward onto her bed, her heart sinking Adrenaline from the car’s pursuit aside, al she could real y say was that she hadn’t meant for the kiss with Damon to happen, that she didn’t want him, not real y She wanted Stefan Al she could tel hi she had expected or planned That Damon wasn’t the one she wanted Not truly That she would always choose Stefan
That would have to be enough Elena dialed again
This time, Stefan picked up
"Elena," he said flatly
"Stefan, please listen to me," Elena said in a rush "I’m so sorry I never - "