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HIS FINGERTIPS SLID ALONGshock waves over my flesh Slowly, slowly, his hands moved across my skin, down the sides of my stomach to finally rest in the curves of ainst my neck, followed by another kiss just below it, then another, then another

His lips moved from my neck towardourselves closer together My blood burned within me, and I felt more alive in that moment than I ever had I loved him, loved Christian so much that -

Christian?

Oh no

So - and boy, was it pissed off The rest ofin this encounter, experiencing it as though I was the one being touched and kissed That part of ed too much with Lissa, and for all intents and purposes, this was happening to me

No, I told myself sternly It’s not real - not for you Get out of there

But how could I listen to logic when every nerve ofset on fire?

You aren’t her This isn’t your head Get out

His lips There was nothing in the world right now except his lips

It’s not him Get out

The kisses were the same, exactly as I remembered with him

No, it’s not Dimitri Get out!

Di ht inoff the covers but s even more My heart beat hard in my chest, and I tried to take deep breaths to steady myself and return totihtmares used to wake me from sleep Now her sex life did To say the tere a little different would be an understate out her romantic interludes - at least when I ake This time, Lissa and Christian had (unintentionally) outs eh the psychic link that connected me to my best friend This wouldn’t have been a problem if the two of the in bed," Iup and swinging s over the side of the bed My voice was muffled in a yawn Couldn’t Lissa and Christian have seriously kept their hands off each other until waking hours?

Worse than being woken up, though, was the way I still felt Sure, none of thatout had actually happened tokissed Yet my body seemed to feel the loss of it nonetheless It had been a very long time since I’d been in that kind of situation I ached and felt warm all over It was idiotic, but suddenly, desperately, I wanted someone to touch me - even just to hold me But definitely not Christian The h my mind, how they’d felt, and howrestless andwell, sad Sad and e to walk off my weird mood, I put on a robe and slippers and left my room for the bathroom down the hall I splashed cool water onback at led hair and bloodshot eyes I looked sleep-deprived, but I didn’t want to go back to bed I didn’t want to risk falling asleep quite yet I needed so to wake me up and shake ahat I’d seen

I left the bathrooht on the steps as I went downstairs The first floor of my dorm was still and quiet It was alht for va near the edge of a doorway, I scanned the lobby It was e at the front desk He leafed halfheartedly through a azine, held to consciousness only by the finest of threads He ca in his revolving chair, he tossed the azine on a table behind hi else to read

While his back was turned, I darted past hi the doors wouldn’t squeak, I carefully opened one a crack, just enough to slip through Once outside, I eased the door shut as gently as possible No noise Atlike a ninja, I stepped out into the light of day

Cold wind blasted me in the face, but it was exactly what I needed Leafless tree branches swayed in that wind, clawing at the sides of the stone dorernails The sun peeped atht, I tugged , toward a spot between it and the gym that wasn’t quite so exposed to the elements The slush on the sidewalk soaked into the cloth of my slippers, but I didn’t care

Yeah, it was a typically miserable winter day in Montana, but that was the point The crisp air did a lot to wake me up and chase off the remnants of the virtual love scene Plus, it kepton the cold inwhat it had felt like to have Christian’s hands onoff at a cluster of trees without really seeing theer at Lissa and Christian It ht bitterly, to do whatever the hell you wanted Lissa had often commented that she wished she could feel my mind and experiences the way I could feel hers The truth was, she had no idea how lucky she was She had no idea what it was like to have so on yours, so yours She didn’t knohat it was like to live with someone else’s perfect love life when your oas nonexistent She didn’t understand what it was like to be filled with a love so strong that it made your chest ache - a love you could only feel and not express Keeping love buried was a lot like keeping anger pent up, I’d learned It just ate you up inside until you wanted to screa

No, Lissa didn’t understand any of that She didn’t have to She could carry on with her own ro toheavily again, this ti I’d felt over Lissa and Christian’s late-night hookup was gone It had been replaced by anger and jealousy, feelings born of what I couldn’t have and what came so easily to her I tried my best to s those emotions back; I didn’t want to feel that way toward ?" a voice asked behind me

I spun around, startled Di both a over the problems in my unfair love life, the source of those problems would be the one to find me I hadn’t heard him approach at all So much for my ninja skills And honestly, would it have killed me to pick up a brush before I went outside? Hastily, I ran a hand throughit was a little too late It probably looked like an ani dorm security," I said "It sucks"

A hint of a s to seep intoleather coat looked I wouldn’t haveDo you wantnot to mention that I couldn’t feelout here? Are you testing security too?"

"I auardians always patrolled the grounds while everyone else slept Strigoi, the undead va Moroi vaht, but students breaking rules - say, like, sneaking out of their dorood work," I said "I’lad I was able to help test your aweso now"

"Rose - " Diht my arm, and despite all the wind and chill and slush, a flash of heat shot through h he too had been burned "What are you really doing out here?"

He was using the stop fooling around voice, so I gave him as truthful an answer as I could "I had a bad dream I wanted so the rules didn’t even cross youron a coat"

"Yeah," I said "That pretty much sums it up"

"Rose, Rose" This tie Always ju"

"That’s not true," I protested "I’ve changed a lot"

The a troubled He studied h those eyes could see right into ed"

He didn’t see about what had happened alotten ourselves captured by Strigoi It was only through sheer luck that we’d otten out Mason, a good friend and a guy who’d been crazy about ive h I’d killed his iven iven everyone here at St Vladimir’s Acadeun to notice the difference in h, so I played off his observation with a joke

"Well, don’t worry My birthday’s cohteen, I’ll be an adult, right? I’ and be all mature and stuff"

As I’d hoped, his frown softened into a small smile "Yes, I’m sure What is it, about a month?"

"Thirty-one days," I announced pri"

I shrugged, and he laughed

"I suppose you’ve le-spaced? Ranked by order of priority?" The senuinely amused ones that were so rare to hie of Lissa and Christian flared intoin ht have wanted - new clothes, an iPod, whatever - suddenly sees like thatI wanted ed

"No," I said in a small voice "No list"

He tilted his head to better look at th hair blow into his face His hair was brown, like mine, but not nearly as dark Mine looked black at times He brushed the unruly strands aside, only to have them immediately blow back into his face "I can’t believe you don’t want anything It’s going to be a boring birthday"

Freedoed for Freedom to make my own choices Freedom to love who I wanted

"It doesn’t matter," I said instead

"What do you - " He stopped He understood He always did It was part of e connected like we did, in spite of the seven-year gap in our ages We’d fallen for each other last fall when he’d been s heated up between us, we’d found we hadto be protecting Lissa when she graduated, and we couldn’t let our feelings for each other distract us when she was our priority

Of course, that was easier said than done because I didn’t think our feelings for each other were ever really going to go away We’d both had mo things we really shouldn’t have After I’d escaped the Strigoi, Dimitri had told me he loved me and had pretty much admitted he could never be with anyone else because of that Yet, it had also becoether either, and we had both slipped back into our old roles of keeping away fro that our relationship was strictly professional

In a not-so-obvious attee the subject, he said, "You can deny it all you want, but I know you’re freezing Let’s go inside I’ll take you in through the back"

I couldn’t help feeling a little surprised Dimitri was rarely one to avoid unco me into conversations about topics I didn’t want to deal with But talking about our dysfunctional, star-crossed relationship? That was a place he apparently didn’t want to go today Yeah Things were definitely changing

"I think you’re the one who’s cold," I teased, as alked around the side of the dorh and stuff, since you’re from Siberia?"