Page 29 (1/2)

Seth was my future, my whole future And at some point my present would melt into that future I wouldn’t be able to have this simplified existence of friends and s for

----

I saw the truck before I heard it, a on either side, blurring the lines of his white truck with the horizon I watched him out my bedroom , suddenly more nervous to be near him than I felt before I went into battle

We both had the rare afternoon off, no basketball practice, no training, absolutely nothing to do after school Before… before things got weird, Tristan and I would have taken the opportunity to plan so like a trip into O each other on sleds behind his four-wheelers

But after lunch today Tristan had avoided er all thatas he parked his truck and hesitated for a good threeto the kitchen door I heard the doorbell ring andheld my feet frozen to the carpet

Fear

It felt like he was co to break up with me

Break up our friendship

"Stella," my mom called from downstairs "Tristan’s here!"

"Be right down," I hollered back and then forced o where I told them to immediately First they stopped, without my permission, in front of my vanity so that I could check out olden waves just so overhands

It was just Tristan

My best friend

My oldest friend

I was acting crazy

Well…forcoether dinner Tonight it looked like ere having… spaghetti… again Ooh… with frozen meatballs This was definitely a step up as far as family dinners went around here

"Hey," I interrupted once I reached the last stair Tristan’s eyes had been watching me as I made my way down the stairs, but now that I stood before hi me in the aze found ain and I nearly took a step back fro his shoulder in an attempt at humility he offered a quiet, "Hey," back "Can we talk?"

I nodded, a little taken back by hoeet I found hiht now There was this almost desperate ache that started in the deepest part of le one of my bones I moved toward him, not conscious of my decision until ainst his chest

"Hey…" he soothed gently, wrapping his arhtly around my waist "Hey, it’s Ok Don’t be upset I’m so sorry, Stella, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, Ok? It’s all my fault, I was such a jerk today"

A shudder ran over ed all the ti ainst his chest, I was surprised at the tender affection he seeainst ainst ainst the nape ofup and down in the softest way

"You were a jerk," I ainst his skin I picked up my head just a little bit "I seriously don’t even understand why, either You’ve never cared who I’ve gone to a dance with before…" I said pathetically, feeling ridiculous for taking this so seriously It was just that we never fought Ever And he never got mad at me

"Well, you’ve never been asked to a school dance before by your future husband," he explained, acid painting the word "husband" as if it were the dirtiest word in the English language

"You’re jealous?" I gasped, taking a step back and putting space in between us Talking about Tristan’s feelings for me, while I rapped up in his arms seemed like a very bad idea, said the sudden voice of reason inout for your best interest," he said confidently, but his eyes refused to look at me

"Well, I’m pretty sure since my relationship with Seth was ordained by Heaven itself that I’hed, noticing for the first time my mom had slipped out of the kitchen

Tristan winced in response, pulling ainst his body I could feel how every one of his muscles had tensed and coiled, the quiet desperation in which he held h o withsmall and not at all like o with you Isn’t that right? I can’t go with you to dances I can’t ask you out on dates I can’t…" he trailed off, running his thumb down the nape of ht line and I felt the hten "We are just friends," he stated, bitterness seeping into his every syllable "I know I don’t get an opinion about who takes you to the dance… I just… I just thought you and Seth weren’t like that yet" His tone had softened and the brokenness behind his words nearly shattered s between Tristan and I that had hovered in the air between us unspoken for years At soether we had s could never be said, never be spoken out loud Tristan was dangerously close to saying things nohich he could never take back, never unsay and I couldn’t let him break the silent truce between us

"We’re not," I defendedto the other side of the kitchen "We’re not like that How could we be? We just met But I am one of the only people he knows, and I didn’t have a date, so it justone hand over his closely shaven head He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and then broke into a smile, his dih followed and his shoulders relaxed into the guy I kneell