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10 Unlikely Knights

THE EMPEROR

They called it Wine Country What it was, in fact, was an area south of Market Street, adjacent to the Tenderloin, where liquor stores sold a high volume, yet small variety, of fortified wines like Thunderbird, Richard’s Wild Irish Rose, and MD 20-20 (known in the orld as Mad Dog, for the propensity of its drinkers to urinate publicly and turn around three ti out on the sidewalk) While Wine Country was technically the SOMA, or the "fashionable" South of Market Street neighborhood, it had yet to draw the young professional crowd that sprayed everything with a shiny coat of latte and hbor No, Wine Country consisted mainly of run-down apartments, sleazy residence hotels, deeply skeezy porn theaters, and old industrial buildings, which now housedthat looked like it was being iant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was just the governet away fro , especially if you liked Godzilla porn

It was in the shadow of that architectural abomination that the Emperor had taken his search for the alpha vampire cat He and the men didn’t spend much time in Wine Country, as he had lost a decade in a bottle sorape But it was his city, and he knew it like the cat-scratch scars on Buents, steadfast," said the Eainst a Du Burowls since they’d co in their chests They were close

The Du a basement ith a sheet of plywood loosely fitted into it The building had once housed a brewery, but had long since been refitted for storage, except for the basement, half of which had been bricked off frootten, and it led to an underground chamber completely unknown to the police, where William, and other people who succumbed to the Wine Country’s charms, would seek shelter from the rain or the cold Of course, you had to be drunk to think it was a good place to stay Except for the spot by the , the basement was co of urine

As he pulled away the plywood, the E hair ca out theBuhed, fanned the smoke away from his face, and then peered into the basement All over the visible parts of the floor, cat cadavers were s to ash as the sun hit them There were scores of them, and those were just the ones the Eht

"This appears to be the place, gents," he said, patting Lazarus’s side

Bummer snorted, tossed his head, and ruffed three tiht I would enjoy the sely, no"

The Eh theHis overcoat caught on thesill and actually helped hireat bulk to the floor

Lazarus stuck his head in theand whimpered, which translated to, "I’ in there by yourself" He measured the distance fro hiood Lazarus," said the Emperor "I fear I wouldn’t be able to lift you out once you are down here"

With the ashes of burned cats crunching under his shoes the Emperor made his way across the rooht that lay across the floor like a dingy gray carpet To move farther he’d have to step on the bodies of the sleeping-well, dead-cats, as even in the shadows, he could see that the floor was covered with feline corpses The Ee to bolt to the

He was not a particularly brave man, but had an overly developed sense of duty to his city, and putting hi he was compelled to do, despite the acute case of the willies that was crawling up his spine like an enormous centipede

"There must be another entrance," the Emperor said, more to calm hie enough for a ed a dead cat aside with his toe, cringing as he did it The vision of the va the samurai swords another step

"A flashlight ood idea," he said He didn’t have a flashlight, however What he had were five books of ed chef’s knife that he’d found in a trash can This would be the weapon he’d use to dispatch the vaer, naïve days, lastto stake the vampires in the heart, movie style, but he’d seen the old vauns by the Animals when they’d destroyed his yacht, and none of it seemed as effective as had the little swordsht would have been nice He lit a match and held it before hi his foot between cat bodies with each step When the ers, he lit another

Buh the basement The Emperor turned and realized that he’d soer visible He reached inside his great overcoat and felt for the handle of the chef’s knife, which was stuck in his belt at the s into another rooe of the ht, the bodies of cats littered the floor,on their sides as if they’d just dropped over, or in aard piles, as if they’d been in thesuddenly switched theht switch

Another distant bark from Bummer, then a deeper one from Lazarus "I’m fine, men, I’ll be finished with this and back out in no time"

Well into his third book of matches, the Emperor saw a steel door, partly ajar He made his way to it; the dead cats thinned out and then there was a bit of a clearing in the carnage, although only for a foot or two, as if a path had been cleared, but a narrow one He stood and caught his breath

He heardfro from the men

"I’m in here!" the Emperor called "I’m in here The men are with me!"

Then a distant voice "Mo-fuckas need to cover this up The City see it they brick this bitch up, then where we go when it rain?"

There was a thu, and the E fit back into theand the heavy Dumpster pushed into place before it

"Block them wheels," said the voice

"I’ritted his teeth, preparing to run across the deep carpet of cat corpses to the , but he hesitated, the ers, and darkness fell upon him

THE ANIMALS

"I’m pretty sure it’s the Apocalypse," said Clint, not even looking up fro James Bible

The Animals were spread out in various positions around the basketball court, playing HORSE Clint, Troy Lee, and Drew sat with their backs to the chain-link fence Troy Lee was trying to read over Clint’s shoulder, Dreas packing pot into the bowl of a purple carbon-fiber sports bong

Cavuto and Rivera made their way around the outside of the court

"What’s up as!" came a scratchy, wizened voice-totally out of place for the surroundings-like soon with a badminton racket

Rivera stopped and turned toward a sure who stood at the foul line dressed in enorh for a pro offensive tackle Except for the cat-rireen

"That’s Troy Lee’s grandive her a pound or she’s going to keep saying it"

Indeed, she had a fist in the air, waiting for a pound

"You go ahead," said Cavuto "You’re ethnic"

Riveracompletely embarrassed about it, bumped fists with her

"Troot," said Grandma

"Truth," said Rivera He looked to Lash, who had been the ad hoc leader of the Animals after Tommy Flood was turned vaed "What are you gonna do? Besides, it’s prolly the Apocalypse No time to roll all politically correct up in this bitch when the world is ending"

"It’s not the Apocalypse," said Cavuto "It’s definitely not the Apocalypse"

"I’ over Clint’s shoulder at Revelation

They all gathered around the seated Anied and put it back in his pocket This wasn’t going to be in any report

Drew sparked up the bong, bubbled a long hit, then handed it to Barry, the balding scuba diver, who inhaled the extra off the top

"We’re cops, you know?" said Cavuto, not sounding that sure of it hied and exhaled a skunky blast "S’okay, it’s medical"

"What medical? You have a card? What’s your condition?"

Drew produced a blue card from his shirt pocket and held it up "I’m anxious"

"That’s not a condition," said Cavuto, snapping the card out of Drew’s hand "And this is a library card"

" Reading makes him anxious," said Lash

"It’s a condition," said Jeff, trying to look somber

"It’s for arthritis," said Troy Lee

"He doesn’t have arthritis It’s not a thing" Cavuto was pulling handcuffs out of the pouch on his belt

"She does," said Troy Lee, pointing to his grandrinned, held up her card, flashed an arthritic "West Coast" gang sign, and said, "What’s up,her a pound," said Cavuto