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CHAPTER ONE

Rain has many uses

Holly and beech trees like those around row

It washes away tracks, obscures footprints Makes trails harder to follow, and that is a good thing today

But most of all, it washes blood fro, as the heavens open Hold outrain, traces of scarlet long gone from my skin but I can’t stop Red still stains er to cleanse, but I remember ho Memories can be parcelled up, wrapped in fear and denial, and locked behind a wall Brick walls, like Wayne built

Is he dead? Is he dying? I shake, and not just froo back, see if I can help him No matter what he is, or what he has done, does he deserve to lie there alone and in pain?

But if anyone finds out what I’ve done, I’m finished I’h Wayne attacked me, and all I did was defend myself Slateds are unable to commit acts of violence, yet I did; Slateds are unable to remember any of their past, yet I do The Lorders would take me Probably they’d want to dissect , why my Levo failed to control my actions Maybe they’d do it while I still lived

No one must ever know I should have oing back You couldn’t do it then, what makes you think you can now? A voice that mocks, inside

Nuh skin, into , sinking to the ground Wanting to stop Just stop, not ain

Until the Lorders come

Run!

I get up And , and finally they fly through the trees to the path, along the fields To the road, where a white van marks the place Wayne disappeared: Best Builders painted down the side And I panic that so out of the woods here, by his van, the place they will eventually look when his absence is noted But the road is eainst the tarain as I run

Rain It has so, but it trickles and runs through one

The door opens before I get to it: a worried Mum pulls me inside

She o I wouldn’t have been able to hide s; I didn’t kno I school my face, take the panic out of my eyes Blank like a Slated should be

‘Kyla, you’re soaked’ A warht?’ she says, grabs my wrist to see my Levo, and I look at it with interest I should be low, even dangerously so But things have changed

63 It thinks I’m happy Huh!

In the bath I get sent to have, I try again To think The water is stea As the heat begins to soothe my body, my mind is a jumbled mess

What happened?

Everything before Wayne see a different person, one who looks the sareen eyes, blond hair Slated A little different to most, maybe, a bit more aware and with some control issues, but I was Slated: Lorders wiped er reone forever So what happened?

This afternoon, I went for a walk That’s it I wanted to think about Ben Waves of fresh pain roll through with his name, worse than before, so much so that I almost cry out

Focus Then what happened?

That lowlife, Wayne: he followed me into the woods I force myself to think of what he did, what he tried to do, his hands grabbing at ain Sory, so full of insane fury I lashed out without thought And soned His bloody body flashes in my mind, and I flinch: I did that? Somehow, a Slated – me – was violent And it wasn’t just that: I could rees from my past From before I was Slated Impossible!

Not impossible It happened

Now I’iven to o I a – someone – else And I’m not sure I like it

Rat-a-tat-tat!

I half spin out of the bath, sloshing water on the floor

‘Kyla, is everything all right?’

The door Someone – Mum – just knocked on the door That is all I force my fists to relax

Calm down

‘Fine,’ I e to say

‘You’ll turn into a prune if you stay in there any longer Dinner is ready’

Downstairs, along with Mum are ned to this family like me, but different in so many ways Always sunny, full of life and chatter, tall, her skin a warm chocolate where I am small, quiet, a pale shadow And Jazz is a natural, not Slated Quite sensible apart froeous Amy all moonily That Dad is away is a relief I can do without his careful eyes tonight,

Sunday roast

Talk of Amy’s coursework, Jazz’s new ca asked to work after school at the local doctor’s surgery where she did work experience

Mu else: she doesn’t want me alone after school

‘I don’t need a babysitter,’ I say, though unsure as I say it if it’s true

Gradually the evening fades into night and I go upstairs Brush my teeth and stare in thethings they didn’t before

Ordinary things, but nothing is ordinary

Sharp pain in , demands it Pursuit is faint in the distance but soon will be closer He won’t rest

Hide!