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And then they heard a rustle at the door

Peyton went over and cracked the panel "Nice work, Doc," he ain

And then his hand hovered right above the lock’sher a choice--and the control

For soht back to the very er into her chest "Surreal" did not begin to define what it had been like to know that she was going to die

Funny…she hadn’t thought of it until now

She focused on Peyton "I’ned "That’s okay I’ll just let myself out--"

"For the way I acted in the PT suite I was in…a really bad headspace and honestly, I was trying to get into the sex with you My brain was all fucked up, though, and then I took that out on you It was not fair I apologize"

He blinked "You are…always a surprise"

"Aain, re-ss have not i that…you know, landed me here"

"I don’t want to force myself on you"

"I wouldn’t let you do that"

"I know But I wanted to say that" There was a pause "Novo?"

"Hm?"

"Look at entle And if it’s not right, I’ll stop, no one"

She shook her head "Coin as you are I don’t need to be handled like so to hurt you I proodda She knew the why of it She had been strong for herself for so long…that she had forgotten what it was like to have someone else shoulder any of her burden

She never would have called herself lonely or identified herself as alone

But Peyton’s unbidden, unexpected, and totally unwarranted support of her--particularly around sex--made her feel the distance between her and everyone around her with an acute sensitivity

"I’hly "It has never proven to be a value add in e what I said Not one word"

"Why?" she whispered "Why are you being like this?"

"The truth?"

"It fucking better be"

"I don’t really know That’s the truth All I am certain about…is that I don’t want to ever see you hurt by anyone or anything ever again"

Don’t believe him, she told herself Don’t fall for one second of this bullshit He wants to fuck you, and that’s why he’s saying it You have been through the sweet-talking thing before, and re alone

Alone for evermore

And yet even as she forced herself to reo? Even as she told herself it was safer to think she was getting played?

She looked into Peyton’s steady, grave eyes and found it hard not to take him at face value

"I’ll stop at any time You say the word," he repeated softly

A nervous panic vibrated through her,her very bones feel unreliable She had had a lot of sex since Oskar, since losing the young Lots of her body partsthe body parts of others But she had never really shared herself with anyone

That was a bonus of not telling her story to a single soul As long as the other person didn’t know, she could pretend it hadn’t happened for however long the hookup lasted