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She didn’t think she’d ever failed Tate or embarrassed him, but now that paranoid side of her wondered just that If he was so, too bubbly for the staid,her to be a part of hi his clients had ended up being yet another rejection, one that at the time hadn’t bothered her, but in retrospect e? Did she no longer satisfy hi to cause hi was eating her up on the inside and it was growing harder and harder to cover up her growing unhappiness with a bright s to her friends, even though she knew they saw right through her façade But the si so much locked inside her, made her feel like the ultimate fraud
She sed the quick knot in her throat, deterht and ruin her carefully applied makeup Joss and Kylie had both come over to lend advice and help her prepare for her anniversary night She’d needed their support because she was starting to doubt herself and she hated that
Just because she chose to surrender her submission to Tate didn’t make her a brainless twit unable to perform the simplest task unless he was there to direct her But hi her, had become her safety net She knew she’d never fall without hie It gave her a sense of security that she’d co without that safety net It was a sad testae that she saw more of Kylie and Joss and was more in tune with their relationships than she ith her own!
Shethe ry and her nerves were on edge because she absolutely planned to address her growing unhappiness with Tate this weekend and she had no idea how that would go over
One part of her thought he’d be horrified that he wasn’t providing what she needed Another part of her feared he’d be angry with her for not "understanding" the sacrifices he wasin order to make them financially secure It was a coin flip and it saddened her that she was so out of touch with Tate’s thought processes that she had no idea which way he’d go She liked to think that he would be understanding and make the effort to spendher
The waiter promptly appeared at her table, and in a low voice barely above cracking, she placed hers and Tate’s orders and asked for a bottle of their favorite wine A sparkling white they drank every year on their anniversary They’d discovered it on their honey to an even better next year
So why did she feel the weight of the world on her shoulders and feel so fatalistic? Why did the last two years of toasting to a "better year to come" make her feel like it had been a dis year wasn’t better It had only grown progressively worse
She’d never be so stupid as to say it couldn’t get any worse, because it could What if Tate reacted to her addressing her own unhappiness by saying he was equally unhappy and that he wanted out of their e? That was the ultiet worse, though at this point she wondered if they were even truly married in their hearts anymore
Married people didn’t operate like they did At least not the es she was acquainted with Or rather the relationships Were Joss and Dash and Kylie and Jensen the exceptions to the rule? Or were they the nore didn’t even coht-knit couples she was friends with And she’d never really looked beyond them because … well … she was afraid to Because she was afraid of what she ht discover So she’d adopted a head-in-the-sand approach and that wasn’t getting her anywhere at all It was onlyher more miserable
She refused to look at her watch Instead she drank in the occupants of the roouess the status of the people enjoying their u Their voices rose before the wonificant other and then looked around in e observed Chessy quickly averted her gaze, not wanting to add to the poor woman’s obvious discomfort
A smile softened her face when she took in an elderly couple holding hands, their ar on the table as they toasted one another with their free hands Then the older man leaned in to kiss his wife and Chessy’s heart squeezed
It wasn’t until the food arrived at the table that Chessy realized so lanced at her watch to realize that over thirty minutes had passed She’d purposely waited a bit before placing the order, hoping beyond hope that Tate would arrive before the food got there
The waiter gave her a look of sye She shtly "My husband will be here in a few ets cold for sure"
The waiter shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or another He set her plate in front of her and then arranged Tate’s across the table As soon as he left, Chessy reached over and pulled the plate to the chair sitting catty corner to her
She and Tate always sat next to one another Never across the table where they couldn’t touch, couldn’t speak inti overheard