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"Hoas she?" I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer

Denny looked at me sympathetically before he responded "She was a totalto be?" I shook my head and stepped on the elevator I rubbedat an?" Dr Peters asked as I walked into his office

"Let’s just say that the trip got cut short," I replied as I stood in front of his large office

"Judging by the way you look and the way you’re talking, so bad must’ve happened Sit down, and let’s talk about it"

"I don’t want to sit down; I’ here" I took in a deep breath, "Ellery dropped a bomb on me"

"Continue," he said

"She has cancer, and she’s known about it before we even et treat to let herself die and to hell with everyone and anyone who loves her"

"What did you do when you found out?" he asked

I turned around and looked at his to her, then stormed out I put her on plane back here while I drove back alone There was no way I could be alone with her in a car for 10 hours"

"I can understand that Just a few days ago you tolda simple road trip Did you sleep with her?"

I walked over to the chair across froether, and I ouldn’t have because it wouldn’t be this hard"

"It wouldn’t have mattered if you slept with her or not You’re in love with this woman, and don’t you dare try to deny it," he said as he pointed his finger at ave ive ave her, then ripped it to pieces How do I ever get over the fact that she lied and hid a huge secret froht and talked about it, the angrier I beca that happened I told her about how I use wolasses and looked at me "Was that before or after you slept with her?"

"Before I slept with her; why the hell does it matter when I told her?"

"You told Ellery what kind of man you are, and you warned her You told her about your past, which you’ve never shared with anyone besides h and saw so inside you to continue the relationship"

"Da!" I snapped

"I’ht, Connor She should have told you fro about her illness, but she had her reasons; just like you had your reasons for keeping quiet about your past Please tell me you told her about Ashlyn"

I started to pace back and forth across the rooit off I wasn’t ready to tell her yet"

"Interesting," Dr Peters said as he rubbed his chin "You weren’t ready to tell her about Ashlyn, and she wasn’t ready to tell you about her illness You two have so to work out We’re not together anymore I just want the pain to stop so I cansoo away I don’t believe you’ve given up on her I know her secret hurt you, and I know you’re in a lot of pain, but I think the two of you can work through this My professional opinion is that you and Ellery need each other in irl since Amanda that you’ve let into your life Have you stopped to ask yourself why that is? Why Ellery Lane? Of all the women you’ve seen and been with over the past 12 years, you chose her You saw so rare and special in her, and you couldn’t stay away Her keeping this secret fro it, but I wouldn’t let it completely ruin you Take soh different stages Right now, you’re hurting pretty bad, next, you’ll be angry, but that’s ok Be angry, Connor, because you’ll never begin to heal if you’re not Just don’t let it cloud your judgment or consume you"

He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder "You’ll be ok Tiive it time"

I nodded ht; I needed time to think, but my head was so clouded that I didn’t want to think about anything besides going to a bar and drinking my troubles away I looked at my watch, and it was only 2:00 p As I was heading towards the door, Claire walked in

"Connor? I didn’t expect you back for a few e of plans, Claire," I said as I stepped in the elevator

"Do you want ht?!" she yelled froht," I said as the elevator doors shut

The gyed into my workout clothes, put my iPod on, and ju thethat looked out onto the streets of New York City Guns N’ Roses was playing on‘Nove, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn it off The lyrics reether for fk sake; I’ at the crowds of people walking down the street, I saw her She stopped in front of theand pulled out her phone from her purse She looked like I did, broken and pained She was still beautiful, and it hurt to see her She started walking down the street again, and I wanted to run after her, but I couldn’t I needed space and time, and so did she

I wanted to do soreat deal of money to close the pool for a couple of hours I did a few laps and sat in the water while I tried to catch my breath I loved to swim The water was a place of escape for me I felt like I could put myself in a different place when I was in the water The last time I played with Collin was in the water at the beach That was one week before he died I think about him almost every day I sit and wonder what it would be like if we ran Black Enterprises together I know my life would be different with hi, he’d always say, "Chin up, Connor

Toht I ith Ellery at the beach, but being near the waterhe loved so much I decided to do just one last lap around the pool as it was almost time to meet Denny for dinner

Chapter 15

Denny was already sitting at the table, waiting for me when I arrived at the restaurant I sat down as the waitress ca to drink?" she smiled as she tilted her head