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"No, Alexander doesn’t have a company anymore He ounded--" Marazov broke off as Tatiana stuht?"

"I’ her aroing to faint She had to keep herself together at all costs She had to "What happened to him?"

"His hands were burned in an attack in Septeree burns Couldn’t hold a cup of water for weeks He’s better now"

"Where is he?"

"Back at the front"

Tatiana couldn’t continue anyet back"

"All right," Marazov said, puzzled, as they turned around "Why did you coe of nurses I came back to be a nurse" She quickened her step "Are you posted to Shlisselburg?"

"Eventually, yes We have a new base of operations for the Leningrad front, up in Morozovo--"

"Morozovo? Listen -- I’ht What’s next for you?"

He shook his head "We’ve lost so rouping But next tiain"

"Oh, yes?" she said, her legs weakening "Well, I hope so Listen, it was good to see you"

"Tania, are you all right?" Marazov stared at her, that look of sad faain Tatiana remembered his face when he met her for the first time, last September He had looked at her as if he already knew her

She ed a small smile "Of course I’m fine" Stiffly she came up to him and laid her hand on his sleeve "Thank you, Lieutenant"

"Should I tell Dimitri you stopped by?"

"No! Please don’t"

He nodded Tatiana was nearly down the street when he yelled, "Should I tell Alexander?"

She turned around "Please don’t," she called back faintly

The following night when Tatiana ca for her in the hallith Stan and Inga

"Dimitri?" said a shocked Tatiana "What -- hohat are you doing here?" She glared at Stan and Inga

"We let hia "He said you used to see each other last year?"

Dimitri came up to Tatiana and put his arms around her She stood with her own ar for o inside your roouard He said a young girl stopped by asking for me You didn’t leave your name, but he described you I’m very touched, Tania These have been very hard months for me"

He was lopsided and hollow-eyed

"Di an angry glance toward Inga and Stan She turned her face away frory You want to have dinner?"

"I ate at the hospital," Tatiana lied "And I have alo? "I have to wake up tomorrow at five I have two nine-hour shifts back to back I’m on my feet all day Another time, perhaps?"

"No, Tania I don’t know if there will be another time," Dimitri said "Co to eat? For old tiine Alexander’s reaction when he found out that Dimitri was in the room with her This was not in her plans -- to deal with hiht, Alexander still has to deal with him So I have to deal with him He is not just Alexander’s He is ours

Tatiana fried Dimitri some soybeans on a Primus stove that she had borrowed fro for him She threw in a few save him some black bread with a spoonful of butter When Dimitri asked for vodka, Tatiana told hiet drunk while she was alone with him The room was poorly illuminated by a kerosene lahtbulbs in the stores

He ate with the plate on his lap She sat on the far end of the couch and realized she had not taken off her coat yet She took off her coat, and while he ate, she went and made herself a cup of tea

"Why is it so cold in this room?" Dimitri asked

"No heat," replied Tatiana She was still wearing her nurse’s uniform, and her hair was tied back in a nurse’s white head kerchief

"So, Tania, tell ood," Diirl any wos happen to you," said Tatiana, "and you alrees with you" Diht since I saw you last--"

Tatiana leveled a look at him that stopped him "Dimitri," she said quietly, "last ti for your help to bury otten But I haven’t"

"Tania, oh, I know," he said, with a casual drift of his hand "We just co about you I’lad you made it out of Kobona Many people didn’t"

"My sister, for one" Tatiana wanted to ask how in the world could he have looked Alexander in the face and lied about Dasha, but Tatiana could not bear to say her husband’s name in front of Dimitri

"I’m sorry about your sister," Dimitri said "My parents died, too So I kno you feel" Di and leave

"How did you get back to Leningrad?" Dimitri asked her

Tatiana told him

But she didn’t want to talk about herself She didn’t want to talk about anything Where was Dasha, where was Alexander, where were Ma Tatiana so she wouldn’t have to sit in the roo a deep breath, Tatiana asked hi with himself, now that he looked to be permanently injured

"I’m a runner Do you knohat that is?"

Tatiana knehat a runner was But she shook her head If he was talking about hiet supplies for the front lines and for the rear units from trucks, from planes, from ships, and I distribute therad?" she asked

"Here, yes Also to various delivery points on this side of the Neva And to the Karelian side near Finland" Glancing at her sideways, Dimitri said, "Do you see why I’m so unhappy?"

"Of course I do," Tatiana said "The war is dangerous You don’t want to be in this war"

"I don’t want to be in this country," Dimitri mumbled, barely heard

But heard

"Did you say you deliver to the Finnish line?" she asked, her voice fading with her strength

"Yes, to the border troops on the Karelian Isthmus I also deliver to our new headquarters for the Neva operations in Morozovo The command post was built there, while we plan our next move--"

"Where on the Karelian Isthmus?"

"I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a place called Lisiy Nos"

"I’ve heard of it," Tatiana said, holding on to the ar supplies on foot fro in supplies for the generals!" he said, raising his eyebrows

"Oh, yes?" she said, barely listening "Anyone interesting?"

Lowering his voice, Di to be quite friendly with General Mekhlis" He laughed with satisfaction "I bring hiet arettes, vodka, all goes to him He quite looks forward to my visits"

"Oh?" Tatiana said She had no idea who Mekhlis was "Mekhliswhat ar?"

"No Why would I joke?" Tatiana was exhausted

In a gleeful whisper Di his voice, he said, "He is Beria’s right-hand man!" Lavrenti Beria was Stalin’s People’s Commissar of the NKVD

Tatiana had been afraid of boer, and of death She was afraid once of being lost in the woods And once she was afraid of a hu to do her harm for no reason other than to do her harht Tatiana wasn’t afraid for herself

But studying Di face, she was afraid for Alexander

Before tonight she had felt twinges of re on what had been a heartfelt promise to her husband But now she became convinced that Alexander didn’t just need her closer to hiht possible

Someone had to protect Alexander -- not just from rando, without blinking, without flinching, Tatiana studied Dimitri

She watched him put down his cup and move closer on the couch to her Then she blinked and ca?"

"I can tell, Tania," Dimitri said "You are not a child anymore"

She did not a and Stan out there toldsoa doctor at the hospital Is that true?"

"If Inga and Stan told you, then it must be," Tatiana said "The Co, Diot up off the couch "Listen, it’s getting late"

"Tania, come on You’re lonely I’m lonely I hate my life, hate every minute of every day of it Do you feel like that soht "No, Dis considered I’, the hospital needs me, my patients need me I’m alive I have food"

"Tania, but you must be so lonely"

"How can I be lonely?" she said "I’ a doctor? Listen, let’s stop this It’s late"

He got up and made a move toward her Tatiana put out her hands "Dimitri, that’s all over I’m not the one for you" She stared at him pointedly "And you’ve always known that, yet you’ve always been quite persistent Why?"

With an easy laugh, Di, dear Tania, that the love of a good young woue like lad to hear," she said at last, "that you don’t think you’re beyond redeain "Oh, but I am, Tania," he said "I a wo and raised his eyes to her "But who did?" he said quietly

Tatiana didn’t reply, standing in the place where the dining room table used to be, before Alexander sawed it to pieces for her and Dasha to use as firewood So hosts in one small, dark room It was al, ant, with hunger

Dimitri’s eyes flashed "I don’t understand," he said loudly "Why did you coht this hat you wanted Are you just trying to lead me on? To tease me?" He raised his voice, far beyond the levels these walls could contain He cairls who tease us" He laughed "We call them mothers"

"Dima, is that what you think? That I’ and pretends she wants another? Is that ht so," said Tatiana "I’ve been very clear with you right fro for you, for Marazov I just wanted to see a fah inside she was cold and far away from him

"Did you ask for Alexander, too, perhaps?" Dimitri asked "Because if you did, you know, you wouldn’t find hiarrison Alexander would be either up in Morozovo, if he was on duty, or in every knocking joint in Leningrad, if he wasn’t"

Feeling herself pale inside and out, and hoping Di of her voice, Tatiana said, "I asked for everybody I knew"

"Everybody except Petrenko," Dih you were quite friendly with hi around as often as you used to last year Why didn’t you ask for your friend, Ivan Petrenko? Before he got himself killed, he told me that he sometimes used to walk you to the ration store On orders of Captain Belov, of course He was quite helpful to you and your family Why wouldn’t you ask about him?"

Tatiana was stunned She felt herself to be so ridiculously in need of Alexander, so ridiculously in need of protection against this specter of a man in her room that she didn’t knohat to say

Tatiana hadn’t asked about Petrenko because she knew that Petrenko was dead But she only kneas dead fro to her

What to do, what to do, to end this revolting lie enveloping her life

Tatiana was so fed up, so frustrated, so tired, so desperate, that she nearly opened her mouth and told Dimitri about Alexander Truth was better than this Tell the truth and live with the consequences

It was the consequences that stopped her

Straightening her back and staring coldly at Dimitri, Tatiana said firet out ofto ht or keep quiet I’ames What do you want to know? Why I didn’t ask for Petrenko? Because I asked for Marazov first, and once I kneas at the garrison, I stopped asking Now, enough!"

Dimitri stared at her with uneasy surprise

There was a knock on the door It was Inga "What’s going on?" she said sleepily, standing in her tattered gray bathrobe "I heard so a," Tatiana said, slaa later

Dimitri came up to her and said, "I’m sorry, Tania I didn’t mean to upset you I just misunderstood your intentions"

"That’s fine, Diht"

Dimitri tried to co away hied "I alished it had worked out for us, Tania"

"Did you, Dimitri?" said Tatiana

"Of course"

"Dimitri! How--" Tatiana exclaimed and broke off

Dis being fed and watered He had sat with Tatiana’s family, who had invited him into their home and made him a part of their life He had been in this room now for an hour He had talked freely about himself, accused Tatiana of she didn’t knohat He’d told her things that sounded like lies She didn’t know What he did not do was ask her what had happened to the six people who had once been in this room with hirandparents, or Marina, or her mother’s mother He did not ask her in Kobona in January, he did not ask her now If he knew about their fate, he did not utter a single co wave of his hand How did Dimitri think it could have worked out for him and anyone, but especially for him and Tatiana, when he could not look for a second beyond himself into anyone else’s life or heart? Tatiana didn’t care that he didn’t ask after her family What she wanted was for him not to pretend to her, as if she didn’t know the truth

Tatiana wanted to say this to Dih she suspected that the truth was plain in her eyes, because bowing his head and appearing even more hunched, Di"

"We’ll say good night," Tatiana said coldly That will be the right thing

He went to the door, and she followed hi to see each other again"

"If we’re meant to, ill" Tatiana sed hard, nus weak

Di, Tatiana, you will never see one

He left at last, leaving black turmoil behind for Tatiana, who lay on her cot between the wall and the back of the couch, lay in all her clothes clutching her wedding ring to her chest, not