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"Oh, o I have to go, quick"

Alexander was profoundly asleep and not ood sleeper She ed to move out from under his arm and jump down from the side of the stove

Tatiana put on a clean dress and ran to get the water frooat’s milk for some cow’s milk When she ca "Good ," she said, too embarrassed to look at him "Here, leta s hi weren’t sharp "You’re going to kill yourself with that thing," said Tatiana "What do they issue you in the arrow your beard back"

"It’s not the knife," he said "The knife is very sharp"

"What is it, then?"

"Nothing, nothing"

She saw hi at her breasts

"Alexander" she said, putting the ht, I’ain?" he said

Tatiana couldn’t look at hi either She felt so exhilarated thisthe two pails of milk

Alexander made coffee He poured her a cup, and they sat silently outside in the breathy htly touching "It’s a nice ," he said, turning to her and bea

Naira called her, and Tatiana went to attend to her chores while Alexander collected his things "What are you doing?" she asked with a twitch of anxiety when he caht now"

"We are?" A smile lit up her face

"Yes"

"I can’t, I have to do laundry I have to make breakfast"

"Tania, that’s my point exactly I have to come before laundry I have to come before breakfast" Alexander stared at her

She backed away "Look," she said, "help me I’ll be done so much faster if you help me"

"And then you’ll come with me?"

"Yes," she said, almost inaudibly But Alexander ss and potatoes for everyone Alexander gulped down his food and said, "Let’s go do the laundry"

Quickly he carried the basket of clothes to the river Tatiana carried the washboard and soap She could hardly keep up

"So since when do youpeople?" Alexander asked

Tatiana shook her head "Shura, it was just a stupid joke I didn’t realize it was going to upset you"

"Yes you did That’s why you didn’t want to tell it in front of side him "I didn’t want you to be upset"

"Why would I be upset? Have I ever been upset by your other jokes?"

Tatiana kept quiet before she answered hiure out what it was that was obviously still niggling him That the joke was inappropriate? That it was rude? That she told the joke to Vova? To strangers Alexander didn’t know? That it was out of her character? That it didn’t fit in hat he knew about her? Yes, Tatiana decided It was the last He brought it up now because he orried about soot to the river "I barely knohat the joke lanced at her "But you know just enough what it ht Tatiana He is worried aboutthe washboard and the soap

Alexander watched her while he s wet?"

"The botto at?"

"The whole dress doesn’t get wet?" He was grinning

"Well, no I don’t stand and wash clothes in water up tooff his shirt and boots, Alexander said, "Here, letso endearing and inco knee deep in the Ka soapy arin and handed hi, in fact, that when she saw him drop a pillowcase in the river and bend to pick it up, she tiptoed up to hireat shove Alexander toppled over into the water

When he ca so hard it took her a few seconds to run up the riverbank away froood balance, big"What if I were a Nazi?"

Saying nothing, he carried her to the river

"No, instantly puta nice dress"

"You are," he said, flinging her into the water

She ca hiht her in his ar her into the air Tatiana felt the back, back, back, and they fell in, and when they caone, Tatiana juh to push him down He threw her off hirabbed for his leg "Do you give up?" he asked, pulling her head out

"Never!" she yelped, and he pushed her back down

"Do you give up?"

"Never!"

Alexander pushed her back down

After the fourth time, all out of breath, she said, "Wait, the clothes, the clothes!"

The laundry -- undergar cheerfully by

Alexander went after the, Tatiana went back on shore

He walked out of the water, dropped the clothes on the ground, and came for her "What?" she said, dizzied by his expression "What?"

"Look at you," he said hotly "Look at your nipples, look at your body in that dress"

He lifted her "Wrap your legs aroundher ars and wrap the her with one hand under her botto around his waist with the other hand "Like this"

"Shura, Iput me down"

"No"

Their wet lips would not stop

When they opened their eyes, Alexander had to put Tatiana down, because six wo their clothes baskets, staring at the confusion

"We were just leaving," Tatianawet over her shoulders to cover her see-through dress She never wore a bra, didn’t own one, and for the first ti out and being seen through a sheer ite It was as if suddenly she saw herself with Alexander’s eyes

"Well, that will be all over Lazarevo to?"

"I would say yes," said Alexander, leaning into her "They could have coht red, Tatiana didn’t respond Laughing, he put his arot to the house, Tatiana in a wet dress and Alexander in wet trousers and nothing else, the old ladies looked mortified "The clothes floated away," Tatiana explained -- unsatisfactorily, she felt "We had to dive in and rescue the," "

Alexander disappeared into the house, e five minutes later dressed in his khaki army trousers, black army boots, and the white ribbed sleeveless top Tatiana had sewn for hih the sheets she was haphazardly hanging He was crouching as he ruh his rucksack She watched Alexander in profile, his bare muscled ararette in the corner of his lips -- Tatiana’s breath was taken away from her, he looked so beautiful He turned his head to her and smiled

"I have a dry dress for you," he said, and out of his rucksack he produced her white dress with red roses

He told her how he had retrieved it from Fifth Soviet

"I don’t think it’ll fit me anymore," she said, very moved "But maybe I’ll try it on another day?"

"Fine," Alexander said, stuffing it back into his rucksack "You can wear it for s "You don’t need anything You’re done here Let’s go"

"Where are we going?"

"Away fro his voice "Where we can be uninterrupted and alone"

They stared at each other

"Bring ?"

"And bring your passport We o to Molotov"

The iuilt as she told the four ladies she was leaving Naira said, "Are you going to be back for dinner?"

Slinging his rifle on his back and taking Tatiana by the hand, Alexander said, "Probably not"

"But, Tania, our sewing circle is today at three"

"Yes" Alexander drew out "Tania won’t be joining you today But you ladies have a great session"

They ran down to the river Tatiana never even looked back

"Where are we going?"

"Your grandparents’ house"

"Why there? It’s such a ht there yesterday"

"No" He gazed at her "You knoe had there yesterday?"

Tatiana knew She ot to the clearing, Tatiana walked inside the izba, which was e s and a great big furnace stove in the center that took up half the room There was not an item of furniture, but the wooden floor had been mopped, the ere clean, and even the sheer white curtains had been washed and dried and no longer smelleda tent stake into the ground His back was to her She put her hand on her heart Co outside, she collected sos into a bundle in case he wanted toaround the sandy pine-needle banks of the river Ka a sunlit noon in June

She took off her sandals and put her feet into the cool water She could not go near Alexander now, but"Watch out!" she heard from behind her Alexander sprinted into the water and dove in, wearing just his ar?" he called to her

Her heart pounding, she shook her head "I see you kno to swi him do the backstroke

He lifted his face to her from the water "I kno to swirinned "Underwater All the way to the other side"

If she weren’t so nervous, she would have grinned back and then taken hi back his wet hair His naked chest, his naked ar; to Tatiana he appeared to be glowing from the inside out She couldn’t tear her eyes away fro to hiood," Alexander said, co up to her "Co away on unsteady legs to the edge of the clearing, where she picked some blueberries off the low bushes Please, cal to herself Please

"Tatia," he called quietly fro himself off She handed hio of her hand, gently pulling her down to the grass "You sweet girl, sit down for a rass, and Alexander knelt in front of her Leaning forward, he very softly kissed her lips Tatiana stroked his arms She could barely breathe

"TatiaTatiasha," he said huskily, taking her hands and kissing the her wrists and the insides of her forearether"

"I know," she replied, suppressing a moan

"We have privacy"

"Hmm"

"Privacy, Tania!" Alexander said intensely "For the first time in our life you and I have real privacy We had it yesterday And we have it today"

She couldn’t take the erave;aze

"Look at me"

"I can’t," she whispered

Alexander cupped her small face in his massive hands "Are youscared?"

"Terrified"

"No Please, don’t be scared of me" He kissed her deeply on the lips, so deeply, so fully, so lovingly, that Tatiana felt the aching pit inside her open up and flare upward She tottered, physically unable to continue sitting upright "Tatiasha," he said, "why are you so beautiful? Why?"

"I’ed her "God, what a blessing" Pulling away, Alexander took her hands "Tania, you are my miracle, you know that, don’t you? You are the one God sent ive me faith" He paused "He sent you to redeem me, to comfort me, and to heal me -- and that’s just so far," he added with a sht noant to make love to you so much" Here he stopped "I know you’re afraid I will never hurt you Will you come into my tent with me?"

"Yes," Tatiana said, softly but audibly

Alexander carried her in his ar the tent flaps behind them It was subdued and dusky inside, with only the barest sunlight filtering in through the open ties "I would have brought you inside the nice, clean house," he said, s, "but we have no quilts, no pillows, and it’s all wood and a hard furnace top"

"Mood" She could have been on a marble floor of the Peterhof Palace for all she cared

Alexander was hugging her to hi down in front of him How did he do that? "Shura," she whispered

"Yes," he whispered back, kissing her neck

But he wasn’the wasn’t doing anything else, as if he aiting, or thinking, or

Alexander pulled away fro was troubling him

"What’s the matter?"

He couldn’t look at her "You said so s to me yesterdaynot that I don’t deserve all of them"

"You don’t deserve all of them" She smiled "What?"

He took a deep breath

"Ask me" She knehat he wanted fro her head, Tatiana said, "Lift your head Look atin front of him, Tatiana held his face between her hands, kissed his lips, and said, "Alexander, the answer is yesyesof course I’ve saved ?"

His happy, relieved, excited eyes flowed into her "Oh, Tania" For a moment he didn’t speak "You have no ideawhat that means to me--"

"Shh," she whispered She knew

He closed his eyes "You were right," he said eivehim "Where are your hands? I want them"

"My hands?" He kissed her ardently "Lift your arms" He took off her sundress and laid her down on the blanket, kneeling over her, roa over her body with his hungry fingers

"Now I need you coht"

He took off her white cotton panties, and Tatiana in her weakness watched hi, "No, I can’t take it"

He put his cheek against her breast "Your heart is pounding like gunfire" He licked her nipples "Don’t be scared"

"All right," Tatiana whispered, her hands in his da over her, Alexander whispered, "You tell o as slow as you need me to What do you want?"

Tatiana couldn’t reply She wanted to ask hi her instant relief from the fire but could not She had to trust in Alexander

His pal into her stomach, Alexander whispered, "Look at you, your wet, erect nipples standing up, pleading with

He did "Yes Moan, moan as loud as you want No one can hear you but me, and I came sixteen hundred kiloue, his teeth devoured her breasts as her back and chest and hips arched into hi down on his side next to her, Alexander eased his hand between her thighs

"Wait, wait," she said, trying to keep her legs together

"No, open," Alexander said, his hand pushing her legs apart With his fingers he traced her thigh upward "Shh," he whispered, wrapping his free arers touched her Her body stiffened Alexander’s breath stopped Tatiana’s breath stopped "Do you feel how gently I rub you," he whispered, his lips on her cheek "Youso blonde all over"

Her hands were clenched on her stomach under his forearm Her eyes were closed

"Do you feel that, Tatia?"

She moaned

Alexander stroked her up and down and then in small circles "You feel unbelievable" he whispered

Her hands clenched tighter

He rubbed her a little firhtly

"No!"

"Tania, do you feel ht that was your rifle"

His hot breath was in her neck "Whatever you want to call it is fine with me" He bent over her and sucked her nipples as he rubbed her and rubbed against her--

In circles, in circles--

As she ers away and his mouth away and himself away

"No, no, no Don’t stop," Tatianatension of her flesh she had begun to feel combustion, and when he stopped, she started to quiver so uncontrollably that Alexander lay on top of her briefly to cal his forehead to her forehead "Shh It’s all right" He paused for a second and got off her "Tell me what you want me to do"

Unsteadily, Tatiana said, "I don’t know What else have you got?"

He nodded "All right, then" He pulled off his shorts and knelt in front of her

When Tatiana saw hiht up "Oh,away

"It’s all right," he said, s?" His hands held on to her legs

"No," she said, shaking her head, staring at him in astonishment "No, no Please"

"Somehow, and in His infinite wisdom," Alexander said, "God has ensured that it all works the way it’s supposed to"

"Shura, it can’t be possible It’ll never--"

"Trustat her with lust "It will"

He lay her down flat, and said, "I cannot wait a second longer Not another second I need to be inside you right now"

"Oh, God No, Shura"

"Yes, Tania, yes Say that to me Yes, Shura"

"Oh, God Yes, Shura"

Alexander cli himself on his arms "Tania," he whispered passionately, "you are naked and underneath me!" As if he could not believe it hi, "you are naked and above ainst her

They kissed "I can’t believe it," he said, his breath shallow "I didn’t think this day would ever coine my life without it You alive, under me Tania, touch me Put your hands on me"

Instantly she reached down and took hold of him

"Do you feel how hard I am," he whispered, "for you?"

"God, yes," she said in crazed disbelief Seeing hi him was entirely too ently "You will kill s"

She did

"No, wider" Alexander kissed her and whispered, "Open yourself for me, Tania Go aheadopen for me"

Tatiana did She continued to stroke him

"Now, are you ready?"

"No"

"You are, you are ready Let go of ht"

Slowly Alexander pushed himself inside her, little by little, little by little Tatiana grasped at his arrass above her head "Wait, wait, please" He waited as best he could Tatiana felt as she had i torn open But soer for Alexander

"All right," he said at last "I’m inside you" He kissed her and breathed deeply out "I’m inside you, Tatiasha"

Softly she moaned, her hands around his neck "Are you really inside htly "Feel"

She felt "I can’t believe youfit"

S, Alexander whispered, "Only just, but yes" He kissed her lips Took a breath Left his lips on her "As if God Himself joined our flesh" He took another breath "Me and you together, and said, they shall be one"

Tatiana lay very still Alexander was very still, his lips pressed against her forehead Was thereThere was no relief Her hands went around to hold him a little closer She looked up into his flushed face "Is that it? Is that all there is to it?"

Alexander paused a moment "Not quite" He inhaled her breath "I’ for this" he whispered into her azed into her face "I don’t want to let it go"

"All right," she whispered back She was throbbing She tilted her hips up to hihtly out and pushed hiritted teeth a moan escaped

"Wait, wait," she said

Slowly he pulled halfway out and pushed himself back in

"Wait"

Alexander pulled all the way out and pushed himself all the way in, and Tatiana, astounded, nearly screaht she was in pain She heard hiroan, and less slowly he pulled all the way out and pushed hiripped his arms

"Oh, Shura" She was unable to breathe

"I know Just hold on to ently

Tatiana was feverish fro you?"

Tatiana paused, dizzy and lost "No"

"I’ as slow as I can"

"Oh, Shura" Breath, breath, where ispause "TaniaGod, I’m done for, aren’t I?" Alexander whispered hotly "Done for, forever"

Less, less gently

Speechlessly Tatiana clung to him, her mouth open in a mute scream

"You want me to stop?"

"No"

Alexander stopped "Wait," he said, shaking his head against her cheek "Hang on tight," he whispered He was still for another h his parted lips he breathed, "Oh, Tania" and suddenly he thrust in and out of her so hard and so fast that Tatiana thought she was going to pass out, crying in tu his head buried in her neck

A breathless moment

And another

And another

The heart ild, and the throat was parched, and the lips et, and breath was slowly co back, and sound, and sensation, and smell

And her eyes were open

Blink

Alexander pulsed to a gradual stop, took a deep relieved breath, and lay on top of her for a few panting rip hile reret; she wanted hiain; it had felt so excessive and absolute

Lifting himself off her, Alexander blew on her wet forehead and chest "Are you all right? I hurt you?" he whispered, tenderly kissing her freckles "Tania, honey, tell ht"