Page 13 (1/2)
13
On the Monday after Peterhof, when a s Tatiana at Kirov, she said to him before even a hello, "Alexander, you can’t co and stood silently in front of her, at last prodding her with his hand "Co block to Govorova
"What’s the round
"Alexander, I can’t do this anymore I just can’t"
He stayed quiet
"I can’t thened by the concrete pave and she didn’t have to look at his face "It’s too hard for me"
"Why?" he asked
"Why?" Flummoxed by that question, she fell silent Not one of her answers could she speak aloud
"We’re just friends, Tania, right?" Alexander said quietly "Good friends I co day, you have a long way ho ahead of you still I come because sometimes you smile when you’re with ? That’s why I co"
"Alexander!" she exclai up to much But please" She took a breath "Why don’t we tell Dasha then that you take le day three blocks before ?"
Slowly he said, "Dasha wouldn’t understand It would hurt her feelings"
"Of course it would It should!"
"But, Tania, this has nothing to do with Dasha"
Tatiana’s efforts to reers blood "Alexander, this has everything to do with Dasha I can’t lie in bed with her night after night, afraid Please," she said
They came to the tram stop Alexander stood in front of her "Tania, look at me"
She turned her head away "No"
"Look atboth her hands in his
She raised her eyes to Alexander His big hands felt so co
"Tatia, look at me and say, Alexander, I don’t want you to come anymore"
"Alexander," she said in a whisper, "I don’t want you to coo of her hands, nor did she pull away
"After yesterday you don’t want
Tatiana could not look at him when she spoke "After yesterday most of all"
"Tania!" he exclaiht she had misheard
"Yes! Let’s tell her"
"Tell her what?" Tatiana said, her tongue suddenly full of frozen fear She shivered in her sleeveless top "There is nothing to tell her"
"Tatiana, please!" Alexander’s eyes flashed at her "Let’s tell the truth and live with the consequences Let’s do the honest thing She deserves that I’ to end it with her and then--"
"No!" She tried to pull her hands away "Please, no Please She’ll be devastated" She paused "We have to think about other people"
"What about us?" He squeezed her hands "Tania" he whispered, "what about you and me?"
"Alexander!" Her nerves were raw "Please"
"You please!" he said loudly "I’m sick to death of this -- all because you don’t want to do the honorable thing"
"When is it honorable to hurt other people?"
"Dasha will get over it"
"Will Dimitri?"
When Alexander did not reply, Tatiana repeated, "Will Diht?"
"And you’re wrong Dasha will not get over you She thinks you’re the love of her life"
"She thinks wrong She doesn’t even know me"