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Toward the end of our tiether, when Dad really went off the deep end, you could say anything to hiht, all-rye" "Dad, I failed Earth Science" "All-right, all-rye" "Moner she used to ht, all-rye" "I just lit your balls on fire, Dad" "All-right, all-rye" He became one of those dolls that repeat a catchphrase every tiht, all-rye" "All-right, all-rye"

In our hotel roouys can rent aback down to the floor Feeling lucky tonight," which was no surprise, becauseme alone, even when I was a kid

Asher and I watched the clock for ten a the hotel

We ran down the endlessthe ice hts in the stairwell; took turns sitting in theeach other into walls; tried to sneak into an after-hours dance club and got caught by the bouncer, who laughed his ass off when--with straight faces--we told him it was Asher’s twenty-first birthday We searched the casino floor for the ot kicked out, scarfed down so on the boardith our elbows on the railing and our feet dangling over the side

"Man, this night was the shit!" Asher said "Best birthday present ever Hands-down"

"Yeah, you know it," I re somewhere in the darkness

"Do you think we’ll come back to this hotel e’re adults?" Asher asked "Do you think we’ll still be hanging out?"

If you would have put un to my eleven-year-old head, told me to tell the truth or die, and then asked me if Asher and I would be best friends for life, I would have said yes on that night without hesitation41

"Probably," I said, and then we just sat dangling our feet off the boardwalk

We really didn’t sayall that extraordinary happened--just typical stupid-ass kid stuff42

Maybe it was the type of high only kids can get and understand

There were hundreds of adults drinking alcohol and gaht, but I bet none of theh Asher and I did

Maybe that’s why adults drink, gaet naturally lit anyet older

Asher sure did

TWENTY-ONE

One day after a long, depressing afternoon wearingmiserable adults in Philadelphia, I exited irl43 I had never seen before stuck a piece of paper in ht!"

"Excuse me?" I said

"Here’s a tract Read all about it"

I took the piece of paper, which was like a mini–comic book The pictures and words were all in red ink, which looked dramatic and intense On the front cover was a picture of a s man Underneath his kind face were these words: You can be the nicest guy in the world, but without Jesus in your heart, you are going to hell

I re when I read it, because it seemed so over-the-top--like a joke irl was playing soame--like this was just part of her spiderweb, her trap

"Who are you?" I said, trying to sound cool and collected and Bogie-like

"My name is Lauren Rose And I’ood news"

Her name was Lauren and she was a tall blond

Lauren

If I were the type of person who believed in signs, I would have been a little freaked, because she actually looked very ish version of Lauren Bacall, a tall blond as also cat-faced, and was devastatingly beautiful in her priie win Bacall so many times in black-and-white Hollywood land, I felt a sort of inevitability This would be the first girl I would kiss I declared it in reyhound chasing a rabbit

"What good news?" I asked, trying to sound cal that ere in The Big Sleep "Because I sure could use some"

"That Jesus Christ died for your sins"

"Oh"

I didn’t kno I felt about that, and her selling religion seemed to snap oal--and I knew that Bogie always gets Bacall no uys are in his way So I tried to change the subject

"I don’t think I’ve seen you before Do you go to high school here in town?"

"No, I don’t," she said to roup of business to hand them They didn’t even look at her It was like she was invisible And while I’ious people either, I felt bad for Lauren, because she had this desperate look in her eyes--the kind that needs soined she was invisible today of work, which I knew from many hours of observation