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The one thing that ood doctor For two su how to do si how he deals with patients who entrust their lives and their health to him

She went on, and filled the second sheet It was the second essay that she copied carefully onto the application fore

But it was the first one that she had shown her parents

"Why?" her mother had asked, shaken "Why, Natalie? What does it hter since you were an infant Your father and I never think about the fact that you were adopted Have we done so? Have weher lip,she didn't really understand herself But the feeling was there: the need She looked at her father, hoping he could help them all But his face was troubled, too

"Nat," he had said, finally, "I don't knohat to say I think this search will be a terrible ood could come of it?"

"I don't know," she told theone"

The word ry "Secrets? Natalie, yourof your natural parents That's how it should be Your adoption was arranged through professionals who never disclosed that inforhter as much as Nancy did, a year later And as far as we're concerned, there isn't any difference between the two of you You were conceived; born; you entered our lives; becahters"

"It isn't the same Nancy was conceived by you, born to you Don't tell ive s don't matter Really, they don't"

"They do," Natalie insisted "They do to me"

"Nat," said her father finally, "let your ht noe're both upset Give us tiain"

Natalie nodded reluctantly, and the translucent curtain came down between them In the two months since their conversation, her parents had notwith Paul

Being able to argue cos that Natalie liked about their relationship He was like her father, that way; he listened to what she said, took her seriously, and encouraged her to stick to what she believed, even if he didn't agree with her Most of the ti time, frowned, and said, "Bullshit"

She had just told him, as she had told Becky and Gretchen that afternoon, about her desire to search for her natural parents The girls had both said, "Why?"

Paul didn't ask why He shook his head, and said again, "Bullshit"

They were sitting in his battered Volkswagen, in the driveway of the Arhed about it all the way home The monsters had had visible seams and poorly synchronized eyes, and Paul had iood huan to talk

"What do you ry She had expected Paul to understand

"Nat," he said, "you have great parents, and you have no right to do that to theto them I love my parents I just have to find out, that's all"

"Why? What difference does it make? None"

"That's easy for you to say You know your ancestry all the way back to the Mayflower, practically You have no idea how it feels not to knohat your heritage is"

"Who cares? Natalie, I don't knoho my ancestors are It's all written down, and I've never read it It doesn't matter to o to those damn DAR conventions Is that what you want, Nat, to put on a flowered hat and sing 'The StarSpangled Banner'?"

"Cut it out, Paul You know me better than that Listen to me for a minute I don't care about the distant past I want to find my mother I want to find out what happened, why I was born, why she gave me away Who she was Who she is"