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Well, I’d been curious what he’d be like And I’d gotten my curiosities appeased

But now I ached for seconds

"Way to go, Caroline¸" I et hi for hi of my room, I blew out a slow breath The sheetrock was painted white and had a delicate-looking ceiling fan hanging directly over my bed There wasn’t a hole or even a water stain of an approaching hole in sight This was the best ceiling of the best bedroom I’d ever had It was my rooer brothers, who rolled over constantly at night and always ed to jack me in the face with an arm or elbow

It was all mine

The trailer house we’d lived in before really couldn’t even be classified as a ho Noel had arrived on our front steps and seen hoere surviving, he’d bundled the three of us up and brought us all back to college with hih I kne eted to keep us here and cared for, everything I had in Ellamore was abrother was my personal savior He’d savedme here

And how had I repaid him? I’d slept with his best friend

There went uilt, I squeezedforehead I was so conflicted about last night I think I was every contradiction in the book Ashamed and yet thrilled Scared I’d be discovered, but then totally coood it felt to be held in Oren’s arht, while hungry for ain, but totally horrified by the same idea Guilty and elated, depressed but ecstatic, wide-awake yet exhausted byI could lie here all day and worrypanic attack, I threw off my covers and climbed out of bed The first three months I’d been here, I’d been a hollow shell I hadn’t left my room unless I was forced to, and that had been e and met Zoey, and Reese, and Eva and just all of Noel’s crew that I’d really started to live again But I remembered what it felt like to want to burrow under my covers every day, all day, and just wilt away

That was theto stay in bed and think about what I’d done

I’d already done it, anyway There were no take backs now

But as I took a shower and rubbed soap over o I would never forget it My breasts pebbled andonsex-related in my life It wasn’t until Oren’s presence slowly made me awaken to my desires that I’d ever touched o And the only tiht of him Like I was now Except now I knehat it felt like to really be with him

Oh God How could he turn ly before he’d co I kind of liked it, but then it also scared nored her own children in favor of finding the next dick to fill her? What if--

Dauy did notmyself in the shower did not ainst the shoall and rubbed myself with one hand as I pinched an inflamed nipple with the other Water strea hs tre to co fist on the bathroom door obliteratedto be? I gotta take a shit"

"Damn it, Brandt," I yelled back "I’ to finish at all now Little butt licker had killed a perfectly good moment "Grr" I rinsed and snapped off the water

There were three bedrooms and two baths in this house, but sometimes, I still felt as cra a better-paying job andbetter and better each day Noel would freak and fight me the entire way--he was still overprotective and worried about uess I didn’t need his approval