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What the Hell Happened to Me?

I woke froiness infrom me but I tried to hold on to them Darren and Sammy I closedaround with Darren, hi what had happened to me What had happened to ht bedroos, I&039;d slept &039;til nearly the noon hour My head felt betterthick, but better My limbs felt heavy with sleep, but I stretched them out and attempted to work out the kinks Memories of the pep rally filled my brain over the memory of hing, I sat up inmy arms over my head I was sore and stiffand so thirsty it hurt to s I stood up andfeeling passed I had no idea what had been done to me yesterday, but I knew I didn&039;t do it As I took sh a list of people who&039;d love to e

By the time I shuffled my way to the bathrooh school That wasn&039;t helping Leaning over the sink, I turned on the water and forgoing a cup, held ue and nearly sighing at the joy of the hydrating liquid coursing down but there were several other ways to eet me messed up at school, and while I&039;m sure that had been hilarious for my tormentor, that was just a side effect of their true purposeto getdown on drugs and alcohol Everyone thought I had a proble rounds And now, one one from that school Well, at least Josh would love that

I iht and stared at myself in the ing force of it pouring out of the faucet Josh On the list of who not only wanted onehe was at the very top But what did he do to meand how? I tried to think back to when I&039;d seen him last It was easy to remember He&039;d smacked into me and then sat on my chest until I couldn&039;t even breathe His words early that ood day at schoolyou deserve it&039;

That&039;s what he&039;d meanthe wanted me out

I shut the water off on the faucet and stared at the few re ferociously to the chrome metal WaterAspirin That&039;s when I&039;d started feelingdifferent If Sawyer really did only give me Aspirin, and I believed that she did - she was the only person in that school that genuinely cared forto ht back to when he&039;d tackledti to breathe than what else was going on Maybe he got Randy to go through , dose my water I closedthe contents back inside I&039;d assu off my shoulder, but a lot had fallen out It really h it I used to eat lunch with those guys all the time Randy would have known I always had water with my lunch and I usually saved some for after school They used to tease me about it - that I couldn&039;t even doater

I clenched my hand into a fist and slammed it into the wall next to the mirror I heard the plaster crack and felt the pain jolt up ured that if he hurtwithshot that it&039;d actually workthat I&039;d actually drink it at school, but odds were, I&039;d drink it soet busted by soat school, at a pep rally, well, that was just a happy bonus for hi vendetta Darren would have his ass if he knehat he&039;d orchestrated against me

I didn&039;t knohat to do about Josh now A part of me had hoped that somehow, over the course of time, some of our old friendship would co that he&039;d stop hating me I&039;d wanted to talk to hilares or cruel words had always stopped ht So nohat do I do? I really didn&039;t want to fight with a friendbut then, we really weren&039;t friends any, it was that I was failing at not letting hie me, and in my current e him If he kept this up, I wasn&039;t sure what I&039;d do, and that thought didn&039;t thrill me

God, I just needed one more year Less than that, really I could be out of this town by suuilty looked at the cracks in it I&039;d have to fix that before Moerly opened er over thee of blood away Great I turned the faucet back on and washed off the blood Har Hastily, I finished up in the bathroom and then shuffled

I walked slowly through the living roo her, I cautiously continued on into the kitchen I peeked my head around the corner, but didn&039;t see her there either Curious at her absence, I headed to the fridge Plucking a note off the door, o into work to cover the hours II love you, Moain Guilt washed through me that she had to work this afternoon because she&039;d et paid time off and we couldn&039;t afford even a few hours without pay, so she went in on as supposed to be her day off, to hed and put the note on the counter Nothing in it sounded angry No &039;we&039;re talking about this when I get ho the house&039; Nothing Just, I love you, eat sohed noisily as I went aboutmyself a sandwich Mom may let this one slide, but the school was not I was out of there for teeks I had to s released froation of school was considered a punishmentbut then I frowned Teeks without school meant teeks without Sawyer She couldn&039;t skip with ht already be in trouble with her super strict parents for being so late in co with rounded her for thatwhichtime I wasn&039;t sure if I could handle that I may have crossed the line in our friendship, but I&039;d meant it when I&039;d said she wastomy peanut butter and jelly sandwich and shuffled into the living rooinally nor for my body I found if I sat still and didn&039;t move much, it wasn&039;t so bad I turned on the TV while I ate at a snail&039;s pace, trying not tonot to think

I&039;d finishedlost in the simplicity of some cheesy tween shohen a soft knock sounded at the door I looked down at e pants and ratty t-shirt that Mootten rownI pushed aside that huh to answer the door It was probably just theslowly and carefully, each stepexecuted, I finally h it toto see our squat mail lady, with a frazzled look on her face and a stack ofSawyer standing on ht nervously

I s here?"

She returnedon her thumb, a habit she sometimes did when she was nervous I frowned as I wondered if I s up yesterday?

"I wanted to make sure you&039;re okay?" Her pale eyes ran overht and noted the heavy feeling throughout uess" I shrugged and she frowned, but nodded

An aard silence built up as I stood in the door and she fidgeted on the steps Finally she muttered, "Well, okay I just wanted to o to her car, when I reached out and grabbed her ar and then up at my face I couldn&039;t read her expression, but I hoped she was okay with the contact "Waitwill you, will you stay with me for a little while?" My brows scrunched hopefully as she looked me over It would be so nice to be with her for a little bit before our forced separation

Finally, she nodded and stepped forward "I guess, for a little bit My parents had to run out of town on an errand, so I have a few hours before they send a search patrol out forshe was only half teasing

I relaxed rip on her and stepped back froone tooso you don&039;t need to be nervous about running into her"

She nodded as she entered my house and a part of me thrilled that she was finally inside s as she entered - photos on the wall, knickknacks on the shelves, the mismatched furniture I followed behind her as sheroom couch and motioned for her to sit when she looked back atit over the side of the couch, before she finally did I carefully sat next to her,the effects of yesterday&039;sthirst and I looked over at her

"I need so?" She shook her head and continued looking over lass fro at the sleeves of her shirt but a soft, genuine s itand at seeing her on lad you finally came inside" I raised an eyebrow, or tried to anyway, and she laughed quietly

"Yeah, well, yesterday was" she pulled at her long sleeve and studied the fabric of the couch in the space between us, "weird" She looked back up at me and I felt my cheeks heat in remembered embarrassment "I just wanted to make sure you were okay"

As if her words had re drink of my water Her eyes watchedasmy ache relass frohed softly

"I knohat happened to me"

"What?" she i, dark hair flowing over her shoulders I had a strong desire to tuck a strand behind her ear, but I locked e I didn&039;t want to mislead heranymore than I knew I already had

"Josh," I said simply When her eyes looked bewildered, I filled in what little detail I could "He had Randy doseme in Astronomy When I drank it later with your Aspirin, I took whatever drug he slippedlike that"

Her eyes widened while she thought about that She moved closer to me on the couch "What? Why would he do that?"

"I think" I looked over her features before I continued, "I think he wants to get etsout of here would greatly dwindle" I s aroundor he wants to ruinshow on TV "I&039; the latter"

Sawyer&039;s hand came up to rest onan e to overwhelm me, I leaned back on the couch and put ht, side-by-side hug Her ar into my back, and she softly exhaled I sed back the sudden euilt that I could never keep our relationship on a not-physical level for very long I couldn&039;t help it I needed her so much

I dropped my head into the crook of her neck and exhaled a stuttered breath that sounded on the verge of tears I hoped that wasn&039;t whereI really didn&039;t need to cry anyh of that She started rubbingwords in my ear I relaxed under her hands and felt that fahtly and turned my head so ere just inches apart Her lips parted as she breathed softly on o forith Sawyer and leave Lil behind I glanced down at Sawyer&039;s lips, so close to ly I remembered the soft warmth of them yesterday, the soft sound she&039;d made when I&039;d touched her like that Her breath stopped as I stared down at the form of those shapely lips Beautiful lips, really But different than Lil&039;sdifferent than what I wanted I still wanted to be with Lillian, and I couldn&039;t keep playing with Sawyer&039;s head That wasn&039;t fair

Those lips started colanced up at Sawyer&039;s eyes and immediately saw hurt and rejection there She started to turn her head away from me and dropped her arms from my back My hand went to her cheek and turned her back to me

"You&039;re my only friend, Sawyer I&039;ently,sure she kept eye contact with me "I&039;m sorry if I hurt youor misled you" My eyes flicked between hers as she flicked between mine "You&039;re my best friend I don&039;t ever want to lose youbut that&039;s all I can be right now"

Her eyes glassed over, but she nodded and removed my hand from her cheek She held it in her lap "I know, Lucas I understandabout yesterday I&039;ryor misled" Since I felt like we&039;d just almost had another inappropriate , but she switched topics on oing to do about Josh?"

I relaxed back into the couch, droppingHer hand still holding hed softly "I have no idea" I turned estions?"

She s to face me on the couch "Kick his ass so hard that he&039;d be too afraid to try anything else?"

She laughed softly and I joined her "Yeah, I could always try that"

She stopped laughing and a seriousness blanketed the couch "Lucyou should tell one of the teachers Ms Reynolds ed you" Her other hand closed over our still laced together fingers and she gently squeezed

I looked at our hands for a moment and then I shook my head "Why? You kno they see me They wouldn&039;t believe me Even Ms Reynolds wouldn&039;t believe hed and shifted her body to rest her head on my shoulder "I believe you, Luc"

I pressed my lips into her hair "Thank you," I breathed

She stayed withthat mindless show on TV with me I relaxed back on the cushions, careful to notfroainst my shoulder and a comfortable silence fell between us

I watched her froether She&039;d occasionally adjust her head against led closer into ainst mine arm and dry, comfortable Her other hand played with a frayed patch of deni from underneath where she&039;d tucked them under herself, unconsciously drew patterns in the couch She seemed completely comfortable and relaxed here with me, and I relaxed in kind, happy that I hadn&039;t s up too ly checking her out and pulled back to look at me "What?" she asked as she looked over herself quickly

I s I was just watching you" She looked back atlook and I quickly coveredstate out with me here, before today?" I cocked my head as I watched her reaction