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"I was surprised he even knew they existed"

He crossed to the bed, and I bent ht," he said, settling by hed "So ested it"

"I shouldn’t have gone along with it"

He nodded, scuffed the toe of his boot along the floor "I miss you," he said quietly

Soft words, but they sent a painful, welcoone so often

I touched his hand "I miss you too"

"Coet practice with me tomorrow," he said "Down by the lake"

"I can’t Nikolai and I are ation of Kerch bankers They want to see the Sun Suuarantee a loan to the Crown"

"Tell hiet sick"

"Well, tell him you’re busy," he said

"I can’t"

"Other Grisha take time to--"

"I’m not other Grisha," I said, more harshly than I intended

"I know that," he said wearily He let out a long breath "Saints, I hate this place"

I blinked, startled by the vehemence in his voice "You do?"

"I hate the parties I hate the people I hate everything about it"

"I thought … you see here, Alina Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed"

That I didn’t believe Mal fit in everywhere "Nikolai says everyone adores you"

"They’re a" He turned th ofon the run? Even that filthy little boardinghouse in Cofton and working in the warehouse At least then I felt like I was doing soossip"

I shifted unco suddenly defensive "You take every chance you get to be away You don’t have to accept every invitation"

He stared at me "I stay away to protect you, Alina"

"Fro restlessly across the room "What do you think people asked ? They wanted to know about me and you" He turned on"Is it true that you’re tu the Sun Summoner? What’s it like with a Saint? Does she have a taste for trackers, or does she take all of her servants to her bed?" He crossed his arms "I stay away to put distance between us, to stop the rumors I probably shouldn’t even be in here now"

I circled htly to"Why didn’t you say so?"

"What could I say? And when? I barely see you anyo"

"I wanted you to ask ht I openedfair, that I couldn’t have known But was that the truth? Maybe I had really believed Mal was happier away from the Little Palace Or maybe I’d just told one, because itfrom me

"I’m sorry," I rasped

He raised his hands as if to plead his case, then dropped the away from me, and I don’t kno to stop it"

Tears pricked my eyes "We’ll find a way," I said "We’ll make more time--"

"It’s not just that Ever since you put on that second amplifier, you’ve been different" My hand strayed to the fetter "When you split the do to Zoya the other day She was scared, Alina And you liked it"

"Maybe I did," I said, uilt or shame "So what? You have no idea what she’s like, what this place has been like for me The fear, the responsibility--"

"I know that I know And I can see the toll it’s taking But you chose this You have a purpose I don’t even knohat I’s off the bed and stood "We do have a purpose We came here for Ravka We--"

"No, Alina You came here for Ravka For the firebird To lead the Second Army" He tapped the sun over his heart "I ca You’re my nation But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore Do you realize this is the first tie of that settled over us The roole tentative step towardstrides One hand slid around my waist, the other cupped my face Gently, he tilted my mouth up to his

"Come back to me," he said softly He drewflickered in the corner ofbehind Mal I stiffened

Mal pulled back "What?" he said

"Nothing I just…" I trailed off I didn’t knohat to say

The Darkling was still there "Tell him you see me when he takes you in his arms," he said