Page 16 (1/2)

"So do you actually think we could be friends, or do you think I’ you, or do you think I feel sorry for you? I’ht me breakfast and all"

"You tell irl who is so afraid of everything, she would fuck me over in a second if it made her life easier," he says "That’s what I think"

"I won’t--"

"But that’s what you do, isn’t it?" he demands "You did You did it to Liz, you did it to me--and you didn’t even know me Who does what you did to people and--"

I finally snap "Then why did you even let me sit with you in the cafeteria that first day? Why wouldn’t you tell me to fuck off if you hate me that--"

"Because I wanted to call you a bitch to your face, and I wanted to make you uncomfortable, and I wanted to see you suffer up close, that’s why God, maybe I’m as bad as--"

He stops There’s this stunned silence I’m as bad as you I want to dare him to say it He’s as bad as me, and Kara’s as bad as s that were good about ood

"I ruin lives--I get it," I say "I don’t need to be told over and over and over"

He shakes his head and walks the path to the porch, and I watch him for a minute, and then I make my way home, and it rains the whole way there

It rains the whole weekend

… Starts off with a bang, a buzz

Lynn Parks gets caught doing lines of soirls’ rooets around she’s not talking Holt works fast and furiously A new rule is io to the bathroom, and if they haven’t returned within ten minutes, they will be retrieved

Which is stupid, because I could do, like, a s in ten minutes

Effective i in the washroo class The teachers will make sure of this This could not have happened at a worse time, because I’m pretty sure Michael has revoked his invitation for me to sit with hi a hard ti life in school without a space where I can disappear

It coet the volleyball net from Josh and I used to meet there and have iainst round of ratty old gyh the halls, past people heading to the cafeteria and past Brenner, who is hovering outside the boys’ washrooe rooms in the school are locked, because the administration values paper and athletics equipment more than its students, but this one is always open No one steals or would want to steal ht on I’ll have to use this space only when I really need it, until the s up her nose fades and the teachers re space secured, I wander the halls, waiting for the bell to ring, a strange nervousness inreally alone feels like I take an antacid And another one

"Regina?"

I hate ives me hope in the place in my stomach that’s most anxious, and then I hatehi worse Or better I don’t know

"I was looking all over for you," Michael says, causing another desperate, hopeful twinge in ut "I wanted to talk to you About last Friday"

"Okay," I say

"I don’t think we should hang around each other any; he just says it I don’t think we should hang around each other any s I don’t really want to hear

"I wasn’t fair to you I let you sit withreasons and I should’ve known better--" He pauses "--Even if you deserved it"

My ina…"

"It’s fine"

"I just think it would--"

"It’s fine, Michael," I say

"I can’t…" He trails off I don’t even understand why he’s still talking, because I said it was fine "And you’re really in it, and I just think it’s bullshit It’s a waste of tih "Oh, wait I won’t"