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The Fearso, and Kara stares at us, s to be in on it She’s there, but she never matters Marta and Jeanette are in their own little world, forever okay with it because they have each other I set the photo face down Behind it is a little box What I’ for
I reach for it and fuh school is chronicled in scrap pieces of paper in this box Our secrets I save the ones Anna didn’t get her hands on, because I knehat she wanted to keep them for--insurance, and then, if needed, aers over them, all folded to perfection I pick one, unfold it, and squint at the tiny handwriting in the ins of so
Would you quit asking me that? Anna
I’h the pile and pick another
Another exchange between Anna and me Liz is out
Are you serious?
I’m serious She’s out
Rethink this Please
Liz is out
Wait I trace the letters withatPlease Please with all of my heart I slide the note over to Anna She unfolds it, scribbles down those three words again and slides it back to h the notes until soirly, it’s Kara’s, of course I soal weight Now I’oal!
That’s all it says No reply, nothing It ht not have even been for me Maybe I just collected it I separate all the papers that have gli on them and push the rest aside I exa out with you and Anna tonight?
NO
I don’t even soften the blow It’s just there, hard lines etched into the graph paper--NO--underlined for effect, in case she didn’t get the e On the other side of the page, her writing again One question, no response:
Please?
I close my eyes briefly and reach for another note I started this one:
Quit sulking Me
I’m not Kara
Yes, you are You have been since lunch So Bruce called you fat--so what?
Fro
You’ve been fatter
I look awful
So do so about it
Like what? Have you talked to Josh for me yet?
I remember that next line:
You can buy diet pills over the counter, you know You don’t even need Josh
Really?
Yes I’ll go to Ford’s and show you I’ll even buy the
I stood next to her at Ford’s while she bought the over-the-counter diet pills And then, from that point on, I watched her melt It made Anna happy
Another:
Are you mad at me?
I can’t talk now
Just tell me if you’re mad at me
Yeah, kind of But I wasn’t I can see it init because I liked gutting her I got harder on Kara after the Liz thing I was so angry, and she was there She letWhat do I do?
I cru one I don’t recognize the handwriting edging out into the corners of the page, and then I do
And I don’t want to look at it but I do: