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Carol refused to allow herself to dwell on any of the negatives This time she’d have her baby This tis inancy Nine months from now, she’d hold a baby in her arms and experience the joy that had been denied her all these years

Doug had been wonderful He’d done everything possible to nized the look in his eyes, the longing that went un-spoken, and the fear that despite everything, they couldn’t, wouldn’t, have a child This wasn’t easy for Doug and while he tried to hide it, Carol kneorried So was she

Thinking positive had growntiptoeing around her The argu was neither her fault nor his; it was an explosion of e had storht Carol was relieved he hadn’t been driving, because she smelled alcohol on his breath when he returned

They , just as she’d known they would, and Doug had left for work after downing two cups of coffee and refusing breakfast Now they had to wait, three weeks to be sure of the pregnancy and three months to be confident about it By then their patience would be even more frayed

Ten days after the procedure, Lydia phoned This was the first tiood to hear a friendly voice

"I haven’t heard fro," Lydia said

"Great" The high-pitched burst of enthusias?" Lydia reat," Carol ada and I are so tense"

"Let me take you to lunch, and we’ll talk"

Lunch out sounded divine, but she knew Lydia had responsibilities "What about the shop?"

"I’ve already talked to Mo to come here for a couple of hours Would you like to meet on the waterfront? It’s such a perfect day for it"

Carol agreed The sun was out and Puget Sound was an intense sapphire blue Nothing would please her et away from the condo for a few hours

They chose a restaurant, a little hole-in-the-wall place that specialized in fish and chips, scallops and shrimp dishes By the time Carol arrived, Lydia had already obtained a table on the patio The breeze off the water had the briny scent of sea air Seagulls shrieked in their usual exuberant way The white-topped peaks of the Olyton State ferry was docked at the pier close by It was everything Carol loved about living in the Pacific Northwest

"This is an unexpected surprise," Carol told her as she took the chair across from Lydia

"It’s just so beautiful I couldn’t bear to stay inside a er My mother’s been after me to take soht"

"Does she knit?"

"Only a little--enough to get by She loves the idea of standing in for , and she is"

"Thank her for rateful for the break, too I needed it I’lad you could join me at the last minute"

Carol had only known Lydia a short while, but she considered the other woe days had she had tierness to make new friends, too; they’d arrived at a similar point in their lives but for entirely different reasons They’d talked frequently and Lydia encouraged Carol’s growing love for knitting It was easy to like Lydia; she was so gentle, so quiet and unassu Carol had never once heard Lydia raise her voice or lose her patience Only when she talked about knitting and yarn did she become animated or excited Carol was impressed by Lydia’s calm manner when she dealt with the outbursts between Alix and Jacqueline It couldn’t be easy having them both in the saue to keep fro if their behavior wasn’t a little juvenile

Seated under the shade of the overhead ulanced at the time favorite She almost never ordered it in a restaurant because no recipe had ever iven her While she hadn’t doneuntil recently, shealways raved about

They discussed knitting and friendship, shared stories of growing up and talked about books they’d both read The highlight of their lunch was the story of Alix rescuing Jacqueline froers in the back alley

Carol decided to stop at thefor dinner Her appetite had been nonexistent lately, ever since the procedure, and dinners had been thrown together at the last , she would have foregone the reat deal better Aht a small sirloin tip roast at the lorying in the sunshine

Thenoticed the difference in her mood He se clothes When he reappeared, he had on his Mariners baseball jacket and hat

"You forgot, didn’t you?" he said when he saw the look on her face "Bill and I have tickets for the gaed off her disappointood and she wouldn’t begrudge her husband a night with his longtie friend

Minutes later, he was out the door It was the first ti wouldn’t be home to enjoy it Life see sorry for herself, not really, but her elated ed by the time her brother phoned They hadn’t talked since his visit thedepressed

"Of course, but it’s just h was audible "Actually, that’s probably better"

This was a surprising coet there"

Her brother showed up less than half an hour later Carol hadn’t ever seen him look this bad--unshaven, with dark circles under his eyes He collapsed into a chair and when she offered hier?"

"Sorry," she said "Just wine"