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Now as I stared down at rief came over me The marble tablet said so little His name, JAMES HOWARD HOFFMAN, and the dates of his birth and death: May 20, 1940--December 29, 2003

Birth to death, and all that appeared between those two events was a dash That silent dash said nothing about his two tours of duty in Vietnahters That dash couldn’t possibly reveal the countless hours he’d spent atwhatever he could to help me There are no words to describe the depth ofpain struck er is raine headaches With the new medicines now available, I can alns are unht me by surprise

I fumbled in my purse for the pills I carried with me constantly My mother, aware of my situation, came toward me when she saw me stumble "Lydia, what is it?"

I breathed in slowly and deeply "I need to get hoht

"Margaret, Matt," Moently She slid her arm around my waist WithinMatt drive me to my own small apartbefore I was in bed in the room where I’d spent most of my childhood The shades were drawn Mom draped cool washcloths on my forehead and then tiptoed out of the room to allow iven a chance to work, I’d sleep for a couple of hours Afterward I’d be fine, but reaching that point--the beginning of relief--was difficult

Soon afterwas at its peak, I heard the bedrooh I was completely prone and my eyes were closed, I kneas my sister who’d walked into the roohted with bitterness "You can’t let a day pass without being the center of attention, can you?"

I found it hard to fathom thaton a aret had ever suffered with one, she’d know differently But I was in no shape to argue, so I kept silent

"So to be the two of us, you know"

I did know and wanted so badly to have a good relationship with my sister If I hadn’t been hounded by pain I would’ve tried to explain how s could be different between us

"If you think I’ to step in and pick up where Mom and Dad left off, you’re sadly aret doing anything of the kind

"I refuse to parew up and beca past time you accepted responsibility for your own life As far as I’ reat pronouncement, she stalked out of the rooh s froze and my heart skipped a beat With the cool washcloth over my face, it took me a moment to realize tears had dripped from my eyes

Now aret was impossible

CHAPTER 14

JACQUELINE DONOVAN

J acqueline checked her reflection in the hallfor patience Paul and Tammie Lee had invited her and Reese to their home for a barbecue She couldn’t refuse; Paul would easily see through any excuse Trapped, Jacqueline had no choice but to grit her teeth and make the best of it

"Are you ready?" Reese asked for the third ti under her breath, Jacqueline joined hi back and forth in front of the kitchen door that led to the garage

"Can’t we get out of this?" she asked, knowing it was iave her one of his looks He had several expressions that spoke as clearly as words, and over the years she’d come to identify them all This one was the off-center hu she’d said or done

"What’s wrong this ti forward to this barbecue?" Heaven only knehat Taht prepare for their dinner Grilled possum? Barbecued squirrel?

"Don’t you see?" her husband said "Paul wants us to get to know Tammie Lee and love her the way he does"

Jacqueline shook her head in a gesture of denial and frustration "It’s not going to happen, no matter how many barbecues he insists we attend"

"The least you can do is give Ta to resent Reese’s attitude Her husband ell aware of the iht person He hadn’t chosen her because of her cute sood friends, and she’d attended all the best schools and so had he Yes, she’d loved Reese, but there was so e partner than love, which in her opinion was highly overrated, anyway

She feared Paul was fast beco like his father, with his brains situated soirl If he held genuine feelings for Tammie Lee, then her son should do as his father had and set her up so her once a week Jacqueline didn’t know the extent of her husband’s ht woman, but she suspected it was substantial She hadn’t checked his financial records after the first year, preferring not to learn the truth His absence each Tuesday night told her all she needed to know

They rode in silence to Paul and Tammie Lee’s house, a respectable two-story near Kirkland with a nice view of Lake Washington Smoke spiraled from the backyard and Jacqueline suspected they’d already put on thewas over the better

Reese rang the doorbell and together they stood on the steps and waited Tammie Lee opened the door in bare feet, frayed jean shorts and alike she’d stepped out of the 1960s television series Petticoat Junction

"I’ for Jacqueline’s hands and practically dragging her into the house

"Mom Dad" Paul was directly behind his wife He shook hands with his father and briefly hugged Jacqueline