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"I think so" Paul cleared his throat, but his voice was still rough "She said Jean-Claude had begged her to kill hilish, which the Germans weren’t able to understand"

Ruth pictured the terrible scene Helen and Jean-Claude arguing If Helen sed the pill, she’d be dead and the Gestapo would lose their bargaining chip Even knowing that, Jean-Claude couldn’t bear to see his wife die It truly would have broken hih confusion that she had the opportunity to do what he asked," Ruth speculated

"Last tie," Paul reminded her "I’--she couldn’t Nor could she refuse Jean-Claude"

Ruth wanted to bury her face in her hands and weep

"Jean-Claude thanked her," Paul added

"She would have refused" Ruth could see it all in her ument between them

"I’m convinced she did refuse at first She loved Jean-Claude--he was her husband"

Ruth couldn’t ihtly "She said Jean-Claude had never begged for , but he told her he couldn’t bear any more pain Above all, he couldn’t bear it if they killed her He begged her to let him die"

"He loved her that much," Ruth said in a hushed whisper

"And she loved hih to spare him any more torture, even at the risk of her own death"

"They didn’t kill her, though," Ruth said, stating the obvious "Even though they ured out that she was responsible for his death?"

Paul’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t explain that any more than she could "She didn’t say what happened next"

Ruth stood, anxious now to see her grandmother before they left "I’d better check on her"

Ruth went to her grand fitfully Helen’s eyes fluttered open when Ruth stepped quietly past the threshold

"Have I shocked you?" Helen asked, holding out her hand to Ruth

"No," Ruth told her grandmother, who had to be the bravest woe of the bed and whispered, "Thank you, Grand Paul andit with us"

Helen s her grandmother’s hand between her own, she kissed the old woman’s knuckles A lump filled her throat and she couldn’t find the words to express her love

"When did you ain and her eyes drifted shut "Two years later He was one of the American soldiers who came with Patton’s army to free us from the concentration camp"

This was an entirely different aspect of the story

"When it was learned that I was an Aiven priority treatment to be sent home"

"Two years," Ruth said in a choked voice "You were in a camp for two years?" Just when she was convinced there was nothingelse

"Buchenwald…I don’t want to talk about it any longer," Helen randmother had never spoken of those years The memories were far worse than the worst Ruth had been able to irandmother brushed the hair fro man"

"He reminded you of Jean-Claude, didn’t he?"

Her smile eak, which told Ruth how drained this afternoon’s conversation had left Helen "Not at first, but then he smiled and I saw Jean-Claude in Paul’s eyes" She sed a couple of times and added, "I wanted to die after Jean-Claude did I would’ve done anything if only the Ger hell They knew that and decided it was better to let me live and remember, each and every day, that I’d killed my own husband" A tear slid down her face "I can’t speak of it anymore"

Ruth understood "I’ll leave you to rest Try to sleep"

Her grandh told Ruth how badly she needed that just then

"Come back and see me soon," she called as Ruth stood

"I will, I promise" She bent down to kiss the soft cheek

Paul aiting for her in the living rooot up when Ruth returned "Is she all right?"

Ruth shrugged "She’s tired" Her eyes atering again, despite her best efforts not to cry She couldn’t stop thinking about the pain her grandmother had endured and kept hidden all these years

Paul held open his arms and she walked into his embrace as naturally as she slipped on a favorite coat Once there, she began to cry--harsh, broken sobs she thought would never end

Eight

Once again Ruth and Paul spoke little on the ferry ride back to Seattle

Ruth’s entire perspective on her granded Until now, she’d always viewed the petite, gentle worandmother All of a sudden Ruth was forced to realize that Helen had been young once, and deeply involved in events that had changed or destroyedworound She’d been a student, fallen in love, enjoyed a carefree existence Then this ordinary young woht up in extraordinary circumstances--and risen to their derand the war and her life afterward Clearly the link was her grandfather, whom she’d never had a chance to know