Page 21 (1/2)

"I’ll phone if I can, but there are no guarantees She’s a Navy kid She’ll understand"

Until recently Shana hadn’t had much to do with the Navy All at once she found her entire life affected by it, and frankly she was starting to get annoyed

"I’ll be in touch, I pro you and Jazmine like this isn’t what I want, either"

His words didn’t lessen the dejection she felt She remembered, in an immediate and visceral way, the eether, knowing exactly what they were doing The sensation that she’d lost soo away With Brad that was the signal she’d needed, because what they’d had wasn’t real, not on his part, anyway With Adao" She kneas childish to say that

"I’ll be able to visit About Jazz--I’ve got ht I have to pack I’ll phone when I can If I can"

Shana knehat he was asking She sighed wearily "I’ll tell her"

"I’m sorry to put this on you, but if I don’t reach her, you’ll have to"

"I know"

"I meant what I said," he reiterated "I’ll visit as often as I can"

While Ada in to see the and coht between Hawaii and Portland was a good five hours She’d taken a brief vacation there with friends; it was the longest flight she’d ever taken Yes, his intentions were good but that was all they were--intentions

"I’ve got your e-mail address," he reminded her "Yours and Jazmine’s, and I’ll stay in touch"

"You promise?" She hated the fact that she still sounded like a thwarted child, but she couldn’t pretend this wasn’t hard

"Yes--I promise"

Shana had no choice but to co her best to seehtened "Have a safe flight, and don’t worry about Jaz to her"

"Thank you"

"No…Adam, thank you" Her voice cracked before she finished and she knew she had to get off the phone or she’d eet back to work now"

"I understand, but Shana, one last thing--about you and me We have to talk Soon, okay?"

She didn’t answer She couldn’t Replacing the receiver, she let her hand linger while she struggled to overcome her disappointment With Adam stationed in Hawaii, she could forecast their future and she didn’t need the aid of a crystal ball For Jazmine’s sake, he’d stay in touch Later, when Alison returned and Jazmine went back to live with her mother, he and Shana would both ether would dwindle until they were forced to face the inevitable It was how long-distance relationships usually ended

Shana had seen it with friends Couples would e-mail back and forth, and on special occasions they’d phone, just for the pleasure of hearing each other’s voices Adaht even be a weekend now and then when he’d be able to visit the mainland, but she suspected those opportunities would be few and far between They’d both try, but in the end the obstacles would be too much

Ada, she should be grateful The lieutenant coiven her back her self-confidence; he’d made her feel beautiful and…cherished When she’don her ood men left in this world, and that not everyher She rested a gentle hand on Shana’s shoulder "Was it bad news?"

"Everything’s all right," she said, shaking her head in order to dispel the lethargic feeling that had stolen over her "Or it will be soon," she amended

The look Catherine threw her said she wasn’t convinced, and of course the older woman’s instincts were accurate Heaviness settled over Shana’s heart She didn’t knohy her relationships with h, she realized she’d carried the relationship with Brad She’d trusted, believed and held on She refused to do that with Adam She wanted a relationship of equals or not at all--and she’d grown increasingly sure that this was it Her future Good grief, she was reading a lot into a couple of kisses! It was just that everything had felt so right--and now this

An hour later, just when the pizza sales had started to diminish, Jazmine returned, her face red and sweaty from her trek around Lincoln Park on her Rollerblades

"I sold threeto act nored, but Shana could tell she was pleased Shana had e It wasn’t cool to show too htest possibility so as Shana reot, problems developed However, if Jazmine and Shana were alone, or if it was Jazz with Shana and Adam, a completely different set of behavioral rules applied

"Would you like to make up a few more?" Shana asked

"Maybe"

This ht she’d willingly agreed to do anything with or for an adult

"Good"

At closing tiister, while Jazmine sat in a booth curled up with a book Every now and then, Shana felt the girl’s eyes on her Catherine and Charles were finishing the cleanup in the kitchen